


How to Turn an Angry Space Alien Into Your New Aunt With the Power of Friendship or Whatever by Steven Universe

by Mattecat



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Citchen Calamity, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peridot's Worst Day Ever, Redemption AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3542825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mattecat/pseuds/Mattecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Jailbreak, Peridot is captured by the Crystal Gems. Steven tries to win her over.</p><p>This fic was started one day after Jailbreak aired, and is now hilariously noncanon in all sorts of ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peridot Hates Earth

"What's this place?" Steven asked, walking alongside Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. A branch Amethyst had pushed out of the way nearly hit him in the face and he stumbled backwards with an "oof," falling behind a few steps.  
  
Amethyst shrugged. "I dunno, just some weird forest." A bug buzzed by her and she clapped it between her hands. "Pretty buggy, too!"  
  
"It's not just some weird forest," Pearl said irritatedly, crossing her arms. "Steven, your mother came here to collect Earth plants to add to her garden. That's why we have a warp here."  
  
"Really?" he said, running forward to catch up. "Cool!"  
  
"It's also our best guess at where Peridot landed," Garnet added.  
  
"Oh, right." Steven fell quiet, and for a while, the only noise was the sound of the four of them picking their way through the dense forest. As the sun began to set and the bugs increased, he started frowning.  
  
"Hey, guys?" he said, swatting a few bugs away from his face. "Are we almost there? This place is really starting to... _bug_ me! Huh? Huh?"  
  
He grinned, looking around at the other three. They didn't respond, and his face fell back into a frown.  
  
Garnet stopped walking. "Found it," she said.  
  
"You did?" Pearl stopped walking as well and turned to her. "Where?"  
  
"Uh, right there?" Amethyst pointed.  
  
Up ahead was a clearing with a deep gouge in the ground, the round, teal capsule Peridot had escaped in lying in pieces strewn about amidst broken branches. There was no sign of Peridot herself, and as the Crystal Gems stepped out into the clearing, they looked around with grim expressions.  
  
"So where is she?" Amethyst said, kicking a piece of capsule rubble.  
  
"She probably wouldn't have stayed put for very long," Garnet said. "Not unless she was hurt."  
  
"I'm surprised the capsule pod is in this condition." Pearl examined one of the larger pieces, her hand on her chin. "It really should have held up better. This is what it's designed to do, after all."  
  
"I'm gonna look around," said Steven.  
  
"Steven, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Pearl said, peering closely at a scrape in a tree that cut deep through the bark.  
  
Garnet put a hand on his shoulder. "Be careful. We don't want you getting hurt."  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be fine!" With that, Steven ran off and immediately tripped over a branch, landing flat on his face in the trench. "Oww! I got hurt!"  
  
"Walk it off, Steven!"  
  
"Amethyst!" Pearl shot a glare at her and kneeled down beside Steven. "Steven, are you alright?"  
  
Steven pushed himself up to a sitting position and rubbed his nose. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just hit my face on a rock."  
  
He looked down at the thing he had fallen on. It was nearly covered by dirt, so it was hard to tell what it was, other than "something hard and very painful to hit with your face." Steven brushed it off some, and gasped. "Guys?"  
  
"What?" Pearl leaned forward. "What is it, Steven?"  
  
 Steven picked up the smooth green stone and held it up. "I think I found Peridot!"  
  
Pearl recoiled. "You _found_ –"  
  
Garnet summoned her gauntlets with a flash of light, while Amethyst yanked her whip out of her gem. "Steven, drop it! She could regenerate at any moment!"  
  
"Wait, wait wait wait!" Steven pointed to a crack running through the gem. "Her gem is cracked! She's hurt! What if she can't regenerate? What if she needs help? I know she's really mean and tried to hurt us, but I don't want to let her die!"  
  
"Steven," Pearl said cautiously. "She is _dangerous_. You need to put that down and let us deal with her."  
  
"She must have gotten really badly hurt when her capsule crashed..." Steven furrowed his brow. "Maybe, if we help her –" His eyes lit up and he grinned. "– she'll realize that we're not that bad after all!"  
  
"Yeah," Amethyst said, still clutching her whip. "We're not that bad, but she is that bad! Steven, this is a horrible idea."  
  
"Aw, c'mon, let's give her a chance!"  
  
Garnet gritted her teeth. "You are so much like your mother," she said.  
  
"But even Rose knew when to quit!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Come on, Steven, just bubble her! That's a good compromise, right? Just bubble her and we'll deal with her later!"  
  
Steven looked back at Peridot's gem. "But..."  
  
Abruptly, Garnet dispelled her gauntlets and straightened out of her fighting pose. Amethyst and Pearl looked at her in surprise. "Garnet?" Pearl said. "What are you doing?"  
  
"How difficult was it to take down Peridot in the control room?" Garnet asked.  
  
"Easy!" Amethyst said brightly, though her voice was strained. "Just tied her up and that was the end of it! Y'know, until she escaped to Earth."  
  
"Garnet," Pearl said, "you aren't seriously considering –"  
  
"Steven," Garnet said, turning her attention to him. "Do you have your healing powers back?"  
  
"Uhh..." Steven frowned. "I haven't tried to heal anything, so I... I don't know!"  
  
"Try to heal Peridot. If that doesn't work, we'll take her to the fountain." Garnet crossed her arms. "Then we bubble her before she can regenerate."  
  
"I'm not sure about this." Pearl stood up to face Garnet and put her hands on her hips. "It's too risky! What if something goes wrong?"  
  
"Separated from her technology, Peridot isn't very strong," she said. "The three of us can take her."  
  
Steven stood up and hugged her tight. "Thank you, Garnet!"  
  
"Uh, guys?" Amethyst said. "Have you forgotten about the times she and her friends tried to kill us? Like, twice? Why am I the voice of reason?" She dropped her whip and clutched her head. "I can't handle this responsibility! _Aaaaaa–_ "  
  
"Well, if we're lucky, we won't have to fight her," Pearl said.  
  
"Because we'll be friends?" Steven said, looking up at Pearl with starry eyes.  
  
"...no, because we'll bubble her away before she can regenerate. Garnet, I am really having doubts about letting Steven do this!"  
  
"It'll be fine, look!" Steven quickly licked his hand and raised it up high. "Healing powers, _go!_ "  
  
He pressed his spit-covered palm to Peridot's gem. Nothing happened.  
  
"Good try, Steven," Garnet said. "Let's go to the fountain."  
  
–  
  
Steven held Peridot's gem close to his chest as they stepped off the warp pad and walked to the fountain. It was strange, knowing that there was a whole person inside there, and even stranger knowing that this was a person who had tried to hurt him and his family. Still, Steven felt uncomfortable just letting her gem stay damaged, not when they could heal her.  
  
"Alright, Steven," Garnet said when they reached the edge of the water. Steven looked up at the visage of his mother, the healing waters flowing from the statue's eyes. "Be quick."  
  
"Okay." Steven dipped the gem into the water, holding it under for a few second before lifting it out again. He hadn't seen it happen, but the crack was gone. "It worked! Do we just –"  
  
He yelped in surprise when the gem started glowing white. Instantly, Pearl raised her hand to her forehead to summon her spear. "She's regenerating! I knew this was a bad idea –"  
  
In unison, Garnet summoned her gauntlets again and Amethyst summoned her whip. The gem pulled itself away Steven's hands and rose up into the air. Steven watched in alarm as a white humanoid shape unfurled, hair growing out from the head and the rest of her body thickening, filling out.  
  
Her color returned, and Peridot fell back into the fountain with a shriek.  
  
The four of them looked blankly at where she had fallen. Amethyst chuckled. "Man, this makes things easier!"  
  
"Is she going to come up?" Steven asked.  
  
"She must be too dense to swim," Pearl said. "She just sank!"  
  
"...gems can breathe underwater, right?"  
  
"Well, we don't need to breath, so –"  
  
"She's coming back up," Garnet interrupted. "Prepare yourselves!"  
  
Peridot broke the surface with an exasperated huff, climbing up over the edge of the fountain. Gritting her teeth, she held herself above the water with one hand and raised her other hand in the air, four of her fingers detaching themselves and forming a black octagonal screen. She frowned at it, poking it with her remaining finger, but it remained blank.  
  
"No connection?" she said. "That's impossible, the capsule pod should be –"  
  
Amethyst coughed. Peridot looked up and noticed the Crystal Gems staring at her for the first time. "The Crystal Gems?" she said in shock, her fingers returning to their original positions. "And the Steven? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Steven, step back," Garnet ordered. Steven quickly obeyed, jumping to his feet and backing up until he was behind her. Pearl shifted her stance, readying her spear and Peridot blinked, her eyes widening.  
  
"...I appear to be at a disadvantage," she said. "Perhaps we can come to an agreement?"  
  
"Yeah, like what?" Amethyst growled.  
  
"Uh, well..." Peridot nervously flicked her gaze from Garnet, to Amethyst, to Pearl, to Steven in the back. "I was just following orders, of course, so revenge would be pointless! Meaningless! I don't pose a threat, so maybe you could just... let me go?"  
  
Garnet grabbed her arm and lifted her up in the air. Peridot yelped and kicked in the air, trying to get free. "Let me go! Let me go!"  
  
Garnet obliged, dumping her on the ground in front of Amethyst. Amethyst wasted no time in tying her up with her whip, while Peridot squirmed futilely. "Let me go! When my superiors hear of this –"  
  
"Yeah, you're not going back to your superiors any time soon."  
  
Amethyst put a foot on her back. Pearl pointed her spear down at her and glanced over at Garnet. "What do we do with her now?"  
  
"Take her back to the temple," Garnet said. "We can figure out what to do with her there."  
  
Steven looked at the scene glumly. "Maybe this really was a bad idea."  
  
"Maybe we should've just cracked her gem in half," Amethyst remarked.  
  
Peridot stiffened. "Now, now!" she said, her voice shaking. "There's no need to take such drastic measures! I'll cooperate, I'll cooperate –"  
  
"We're not going to kill her," Garnet said. "Steven, it's fine. She's not a threat anymore. If we hadn't healed her cracked gem, she could've become corrupted and changed into a monster, and we would've had to fight her anyway."  
  
"What? What are you talking about? My gem is fine!"  
  
"Yeah," said Steven. "We healed you!"  
  
"That's impossible," Peridot said. "I would remember something cracking my gem! Are you telling me I almost _died_ and I didn't even know it?"  
  
Her eyes were wide and her voice was panicked. Steven looked at her. "Are you scared?" he asked.  
  
"No!" she snapped. "I'm being held prisoner by a bunch of defectors from the Homeworld, and now I find out that I nearly died in that crash! There's nothing to be scared about!"  
  
"It's okay," Steven said. "We're not going to hurt you!"  
  
"Not if you don't try anything, we won't," Amethyst said, pressing her foot into Peridot's back. Peridot flinched.  
  
Steven scrunched up his face. "Well, I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
"That is _not_ reassuring."  
  
"...is that sarcasm?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Steven, stop talking to her," Pearl said sharply. "Let's just take her back with us and just..." She paused, averting her gaze and bringing her free hand to her face. "Lock her up somewhere until we know what to do with her!"  
  
Garnet picked Peridot up and slung her over her shoulder. Peridot twisted in her grasp, but a glare from Amethyst made her stop. "I'm warning you –"  
  
"What, didn't you say you would cooperate?" Amethyst said.  
  
"I will, I will!" Peridot said quickly. "But when my superiors find out about this, there's going to be consequences! How about you let me go, and when I get back to Homeworld, I'll... neglect to mention this little incident!"  
  
"Not happening," Garnet said. "Let's go."  
  
Peridot opened her mouth, then closed it, fuming silently as Garnet carried her back to the warp pad. As Steven followed behind, he couldn't help but wonder if he had made a big mistake.


	2. Peridot Hates the Crystal Gems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't expect this updating-two-days-in-a-row thing to happen very often. or ever again really.
> 
> anyway, hi and welcome to my New Multichapter Fic. I haven't been in the mood for writing for a while so it's really exciting that I'm able to write this much this fast. I'm expecting to slow down after maybe one more chapter and fall back to a more steady once-a-week update schedule, but for now, enjoy adventures of Angry Dorito Aunt
> 
> also shoutout to the followers of relatablepicturesofamethyst

"So... you're keeping Peridot in the temple?"

Steven nodded and took another bite of his peanut butter sandwich. "Yep!" he said with his mouth full.

Connie frowned. "The temple right here?"

"Uhh..." Steven looked around the room, his eyes falling on the door to the inner rooms of the temple. "I guess so? There isn't really anywhere else to put her."

"Don't worry," Pearl said, opening the refrigerator and taking out a jar. "We've repurposed the room we made for your test and turned it into a holding cell for her. Only we can get in and out! She won't be escaping anytime soon." She turned to them with a forced smile. "Would you like some egg yolk and oil to go with your sandwich?"

Steven squinted at her. "Pearl, that's mayonnaise. Everyone knows mayonnaise is just... mayonnaise."

"Actually," said Connie, "it's egg yolk, oil, and vinegar."

"Whaaaat?"

The warp pad lit up and with a flash of light, Garnet and Amethyst appeared. Steven's face lit up.

"You're back!" He abandoned his sandwich on his plate, jumping down off the stool and running to the two of them, Connie following behind. "What did you find? Did you bring anything back?"

"No," Garnet said. "The capsule pod was too badly damaged. Nothing of interest survived."

"It's odd," Pearl said, putting the mayonnaise back in the refrigerator. "I would have expected the capsule to be sturdier than that. It should be designed for emergency landings. Why didn't it survive the crash?"

"We could ask Peridot what happened," Steven suggested.

Amethyst snorted. "Yeah, that'll definitely be helpful."

"Really?"

"Of course not! What would she tell us?"

"She is the only one who would know what happened –" Garnet adjusted her shades as she spoke. "– but she might not remember."

"She doesn't remember how her gem got cracked, after all." Pearl walked over to them. "It's possible she suffered some sort of memory loss."

"Wouldn't the fountain have healed her?" Steven asked.

"Not necessarily. It would have healed the damage that caused the memory loss, but not the memory loss itself." Pearl paced back and forth, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. "It might be useful to ask, but there's no guarantee she'll tell us anything, even if she did remember. She's not exactly... the most cooperative gem."

Connie stood apart from the four, her hands behind her back as she nervously listened to their discussion. Steven frowned.

"Can I talk to her anyway?" he asked.

"Absolutely not!" Pearl said, holding her arms up in an X and slashing down in a wide, sweeping gesture. "It's too dangerous! She is dangerous! We don't know anything about her other than that she's dangerous! You are not going to talk with her!"

"C'mon, Pearl, can I just try? Please?"

"No way! I won't allow it!"

"Garnet?"

"No."

"...Amethyst?"

"Look, Steven," Amethyst said. "Even I know this is a bad idea. Do you have any idea what the Homeworld gems are like?" Her eyes widened in mock surprise. "Oh wait, you do, you were there when they tried to kill us!"

"Maybe she can change!" Steven said, clenching his fists. "Maybe she'll realize that Earth is someplace worth protecting, like you and my mom did!"

"Peridot is _nothing_ like your mother!" Pearl snapped. "None of the Homeworld gems are! There is nothing you can do to sway her!"

"How do you know? Did you try?"

" _We tried so hard, Steven!_ " He flinched back at Pearl's shout. "We tried and tried over and over to convince the Homeworld gems that Earth was worth protecting, that the life here should be preserved! It didn't work! Rose tried too, but she soon realized that it was hopeless! Homeworld gems will _never_ listen to us!"

"Pearl," said Garnet. "Calm down."

Her face flushed and Pearl took a deep breath before straightening up. "Well," she said, clapping her hands together lightly. "We'll take care of Peridot, so don't worry about her."

Steven was silent for a moment, looking down at the ground. "What are you gonna do with her?" he finally said, looking back up at Pearl.

"We could just leave her locked in there forever," Garnet said.

Steven wait for her to continue, and when she didn't, prompted her. "Or you could...?"

Pearl sucked air in through her teeth and averted her gaze. "I... don't actually know what else we could do."

"Don't worry, Steven," Amethyst said, slapping a hand on his shoulder. "We'll figure out something."

Steven looked down and nodded glumly. "Okay... Connie, you wanna go out to the beach?"

Connie nodded. "Sure, Steven."

The two of them left the gems and stepped outside, the screen door closing behind them. Once they were out, they walked down the steps in silence, and when they got to the beach Steven flopped down on his back. Connie sat down beside him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said.

"Are you sure?"

He signed and lifted his head up, sand all over the back of his head. "I mean, I get why Garnet n' Amethyst n' Pearl don't like Peridot, but it still feels weird to me."

Connie shifted her position, sitting cross-legged on the sand. "What do you think?"

Steven rolled over onto his stomach. "About what?"

"About Peridot. Do you think she can be good?"

Steven looked away with another sigh. "I don't know... I know the Homeworld gems want to do something really bad to Earth, and I know Peridot and her friends hurt us, but I don't want us to fight. I don't want more people getting hurt."

Connie frowned. "Maybe Peridot wants the same thing."

"What d'you mean?"

"Maybe Peridot thinks you're the bad guys. The bad guys don't always know they're the bad ones. Sometimes they think they're doing good." Connie scooted herself closer. "What if Peridot doesn't want to fight, either?"

"So..." Steven furrowed his brow in concentration. "Maybe Peridot doesn't actually want to hurt us?"

"Yeah!" Connie said. "What if all we had to do was convince her that we were the good guys?"

"Do you really think that'll work?" Stevens sounded unsure, but he was grinning now, too, and he propped himself up on his elbows.

She nodded. "Mm-hm! It'll be just like this book I've read, where it turns out that the people who they thought were the bad guys were just being tricked all along, and the real bad guys were –"

"Awesome!" Steven scrambled to his feet and raised his hands in the air. "Let's go talk to Peridot!"

He blinked, realization coming over his face, and his arms fell to his side. "But I'm not allowed to talk to her. Do you think they'll let me talk to her if you're there, too?"

"Mmm... probably not," Connie said, looking off to the side. "But come on –" She turned back to Steven with a huge smile. "– I have a better idea!"

* * *

The cell was very old-fashioned, Peridot noted, sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest. No gem destabilizer fields, just four solid walls with a locked door. No windows; no visible source of light, either. Instead, the room softly glowed with a faint red light. Very archaic. Modern gem technology didn't fuddle around with all this mystery business; you could tell how everything worked just by looking at it, assuming you had the knowledge to understand it.

Not that she didn't understand how this prison worked; it was clearly a physical projection of the temple's magical powers, shaped according to the will of the gems that had captured her. Simple. Archaic. And utterly impossible to get out of without access to her modern technology.

Peridot pressed her face to her knees and groaned. This was just _miserable_. How was she going to get out of this one? Her superiors were going to be furious with her. She shuddered at the thought of their reaction.

"Go to Earth, they said," she muttered. "There hasn't been any gem activity there since the war. It'll be easy. Just reactivate the Kindergarten. Was this some sort of practical joke? I've gotten perfect results on all my projects up until now, they wouldn't do that to me!"

The Steven. It was all the Steven's fault. Some strange new species that had Rose Quartz's gem. Jasper was convinced it was Rose Quartz herself, in a new form, but Peridot disagreed. The Steven may have had Rose's gem, but was clearly not a gem himself, judging by how the gem destabilizer hadn't worked on him.

Not that Peridot knew anything about Rose Quartz. Her design was still a prototype when the war for Earth happened, and she was a technician, anyway; even if she had been made before the war, she wouldn't have been sent to fight. She had been chosen for this project because her superiors believed that all gems had been wiped out, and the humans that remained wouldn't pose a threat.

Either her superiors were wrong or they had lied to her. Peridot wasn't sure which was worse.

She didn't know how long she sat there, deep in thought, when a sheet of pink light appeared in the middle of the room.

Peridot jerked her head up in surprise. An opening? Where did it come from? Could she get out? Or was it a trap?

Her suspicions were confirmed when the Steven walked out of the light, accompanied by a dark-skinned human with long black hair and a simple green dress. The Steven waved at her, smiling. "Hi, Peridot!"

"Hello... _Steven_ ," Peridot said cautiously. "Finally decided what to do with me?"

"Nope!" he said cheerfully. "Connie, d'you want to go first?"

"Okay!" The human – "Connie" – stepped forward, clasping her hands together. She was smiling brightly, but she faltered when making eye contact with Peridot. "Uh, you don't want to hurt us, right?"

"Hurt you?" Peridot said, getting to her feet. "Why would I... hurt you?"

She towered over the two of them, and their smiles faded. "I... dunno!" the Steven said quickly. "You won't, right? We just want to talk!"

"Talk about what?" Peridot narrowed her eyes. This was certainly suspicious.

"Oh, you know..." The Steven looked away and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "You don't want to hurt us, we don't want to hurt you, so I thought, maybe if we talked to each other and learned each other's side of the story, we could get along and be friends!"

"Really." Peridot's eyes fell on the opening. It was still there, but the human and the Steven were standing right in front of it. Maybe if she moved fast...

"Yeah! How does that sound?" The Steven grinned. Peridot glared at him.

"I'm not interested in making any friends," she said, crossing her arms. "I'm only interested in going back to the Homeworld."

"Uh..." The Steven scrunched up his face. "I'm not sure the others would be happy with that."

"The others? You mean..." Peridot frowned. "The Crystal Gems? Are they not here?"

"Nope! It's just us!"

"Steven?" Connie put a hand on the Steven's shoulder. "I changed my mind. This was a bad idea."

"You're saying the two of you are here alone," Peridot said, ignoring her.

The Steven began to realize that he had made a critical mistake. A bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. "Uh..."

Peridot charged.

Connie and Steven dove out of the way with a yelp as Peridot disappeared through the opening. Quickly, Steven got to his feet and ran in after her, but it was too late – despite her apparent density, Peridot moved _fast,_ and she was already vanishing into the cloudy expanse of Rose's room by the time Connie came in through the opening after him.

"We are in so much trouble," Connie said.

* * *

The door to the temple opened and Pearl walked out, humming to herself. "Hello?" she called out. The house was quiet; were Steven and Connie still outside? It was getting dark, they should be coming back in soon. Pearl was about to walk to the door and call them in when she passed the kitchen counter and noticed a letter, written in Steven's messy handwriting.

_garnet, amethyst, pearl_

_everything is fine but peridot got out_

_we're fine so don't worry we're going to get her back!! :)_

_-steven & connie_

"STEVEN!"


	3. Peridot Hates Archaic Technology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last Big Fanfic I wrote I ended up not responding to any comments except on 1 chapter. for this Big Fanfic, I'm trying to respond to every comment. there is no in-between.
> 
> uh so ok. for some reason writing for this is going really fast. I'm riding on this wave of inspiration I got after the stevenbomb, and even though I'm convinced my writing, especially my characterization, sucks, I keep getting compliments on it? nice ok. let's see if I can continue Not Sucking. it helps that these chapters are shorter than the ~2500 word chapters I did for my last big fic.
> 
> ok but seriously, don't get used to this update schedule. eventually im gonna burn out, and when that happens, updates could slow down to anywhere from "once a week" to "once every 2 months."
> 
> shoutout to my bf (big frog) steve, who isn't caught up with steven universe yet but is showing this fic to all his friends.

It didn't take Peridot long to figure out how to work Rose Quartz's room. Steven and Connie had barely caught up to her before she had made a door appear and was going through it. The two of them barreled through the door just as it closed, just in time to see Peridot stepping on the warp pad and warping away..

Steven stopped running. "Oh no!"

"I'm so sorry, Steven!" Connie cried. "This is all my fault!"

"It's okay, Connie, we can fix this!" Steven said, turning to her with a smile. "I'm just going to leave a note for the gems, just in case they come back before we find her!"

He ran off to the kitchen. Connie waited nervously as he hastily scribbled a note for them and left it on the counter, running back to her. "Okay! Let's go after her!"

It occurred to Steven mid-warp that he didn't know where Peridot had gone. For a few moments, they spun through warpspace without a destination, until he decided that she must be trying to go back to her capsule pod. Quickly, he pictured the forest warp in his mind, and felt their trajectory change.

They landed, and Steven and Connie ran off the warp pad. A bug flew up Steven's nose and he sneezed, stumbled, and fell over, taking Connie down on top of him.

For a few moments, all they heard was the buzzing of the bugs and the cries of birds. Then Connie pushed herself up off him and they sat up.

"Where did she go?" Connie said, looking around. "I don't hear her anywhere!"

Steven rubbed his nose. "I don't actually know how to follow people when they're warping."

"You mean, she might've not come here at all?"

"Maybe –"

The sound of the warp pad activating interrupted them, and they both scrambled to their feet. "Oh no!" Steven said in dismay, "It's gonna be Pearl or Garnet and they're gonna know we lost Peridot and –"

"A-ha!"

Peridot smirked and pointed a finger at the two of them from where she stood on the warp pad. "Just as I planned!" she said triumphantly. "I didn't know where my escape pod landed – but you've led me straight back to it!"

"– oh thank gosh you're not Pearl!" Steven said, standing up with a grin. Peridot's own smile faded and she glowered at him.

"...whatever, I don't have time for this!" She leapt off the warp pad and landed with a _thud_ on the forest floor, her feet living deep imprints in the ground. She ran off, and Steven and Connie wasted no time in following her.

"Come on!" Steven called out. "We're not gonna hurt you or anything! Please come back?"

"Steven, I don't think that's gonna work!"

"Yeah you're probably right."

Abruptly, Peridot slowed down, coming to a stop in the clearing with the wreckage of the capsule. Steven and Connie ran up to her, breathing hard and Connie grabbed Peridot's arm. "Got you!"

Peridot yanked her arm out of Connie's grip easily, staring straight ahead. "What on this miserable planet could have done – get off me!"

She glared down at Steven, who had wrapped his body around her leg. "Never! We're bringing you back to the temple!"

"Lapis Lazuli said you freed her! Why are you so intent on keeping me prisoner?"

"Lapis just wanted to go home! You want to do something really bad to Earth!" Steven looked up at her and grinned. "Besides, maybe if you stay here, you'll realize it's not so bad after all!"

"Steven?" Connie said nervously, staring off into the forest.

"Never!" Peridot tried to shake him off. "I'm going back to the Homeworld, and when I do –"

"STEVEN!"

Both Peridot and Steven froze at Connie's scream, Peridot holding her leg up in the air with Steven clinging to it. Close by, they could hear something making it's way through the forest, the earth shaking with every footstep. _Boom. Boom. Boom._

"What kind of planet is this?" Peridot said in horror.

"It must be a monster!" Steven said, letting go of Peridot's leg and dropping to the ground. "Connie, we've got to get back to the warp pad! Peridot –"

"Do you really think I'm going to go with you?!" Peridot backed away. "I'm finding my escape pod, and then –"

_BOOM. BOOM. BOOM._

They could see the thing approaching now; a pitch-black vaguely humanoid figure with a round body and a diamond etched in its chest. It stepped forward, its joints creaking and its metallic skin covered in dirt, stopping just before the clearing, a single eye in the center of its head opening and focusing on the three of them.

Peridot paled. "Forget what I just said. Get me out of here!"

"Uhh..." Steven looked up at her worriedly. "What is that thing?"

"It's a weapon," she said, her voice shaking. "I was warned there might be some that had failed to deactivate after the war, but I never expected –"

The thing lunged.

Connie screamed and jumped out of the way, but the machine went straight past her, towards Peridot and Steven. Steven threw out his arms and summoned a pink bubble shield around himself and Peridot, who had frozen in fear, and the machine collided, sending them bouncing across the ground. They finally stopped when the bubble wedged itself between two trees, Steven panting with the effort of keeping the bubble together.

Connie quickly got to her feet. "Steven!"

"Connie! Are you okay?"

Peridot lay on the ground, disoriented, but when Steven shouted, she shook her head and sat up. "Of course she's okay," she said bitterly. "This thing was built to k – ki – to dispatch _gems!_ It'll ignore anything without a gem!"

"Oh, okay. Good!"

" _Not good!_ " Peridot shouted. " _We_ have gems! It's coming after us!"

The machine charged again, smashing into the bubble with a dagger-clawed hand. The bubble deformed with the impact, and Steven gulped, his arms trembling.

"Connie, get back to the warp pad!" he shouted. "We'll catch up!"

"I don't want to leave you here!"

"We'll be okay! Just go wait for Garnet n' Amethyst n' Pearl to come find us!"

Connie hesitated, but upon seeing Steven's determined expression, she nodded stiffly, and ran.

"Go to Earth, they said, we're pretty sure all the _ancient death machines_ are deactivated, they said!" Peridot flinched back as the machine smashed its claws into the bubble, over and over. "Can this thing hold for that long?!"

"Sure!" Sweat was starting to form on Steven's forehead and every impact made him tremble. "I mean, probably!"

"We're dead," Peridot said numbly, clutching her head. "I'm going to die. I don't want to die! I'm not even a thousand years old!"

The machine was relentless, and Steven gritted his teeth. "I'm not gonna let you die!" he shouted. "Just gotta hang in there –"

The next attack popped the bubble.

Steven fell on the ground with an _oof_ , and the machine reared back for another strike. He yelped and rolled out of the way, and its claws embedded themselves deep in the ground.

"Run!" he shouted.

Peridot wasted no time in struggling to her feet and running away as fast as she could, Steven close behind. Behind them, the machine ripped its hand out of the dirt and began pounding after them. _BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM._

"We're going the wrong way!" Steven said, catching up to Peridot. "The warp pad is that way!"

"So's that _thing!_ "

"We can't run forever!"

"Do you have any better ideas?!"

"Can't you fight it?"

"I'm a technician! I wasn't built to fight, and my powers won't work on technology so – wah!"

The next moment, she had tripped over a root and was flat on the ground. Steven skidded to a stop. "Peridot!"

The machine slowed to a stop above her, its single eye blinking down. Peridot screamed and tried to get back up, but it grabbed her leg and pulled her back, and she fell down in the dirt.

Steven jumped forward between them and held his hands out wide, trembling. "Don't hurt her!"

The machine paused, its eye focusing on Steven, and flicking down to the gem on his belly. Peridot pushed herself up and looked back, and her mouth dropped open she saw Steven standing there. "What are you..."

The machine opened its claw and struck forward. Quickly, Peridot swept a leg under Steven, knocking him over, and the claw passed through the empty air. A loud creak sounded and the machine pulled its hand back to strike again.

A purple-studded whip lashed out and wrapped around its neck, yanking it backwards. The machine twisted its head around to focus its eye on its new assailants.

Steven sat upright and his eyes lit up. "Amethyst!"

"Good job!" Garnet appeared, Amethyst close behind, running forward and punching the machine with a gauntlet-clad fist. It reeled back, and struck at Garnet with its claws, but she dodged, jumping backwards as Amethyst summoned another whip to grab its other arm.

"Steven!" Pearl ran past them to Steven and Peridot, clutching her spear. "Connie's safe, don't worry, but are you alright?"

"I'm okay!" Steven said brightly. "Peridot saved me!"

She glanced at Peridot, who looked away, her cheeks flushing dark green. Pearl raised an eyebrow, but shook her head and focused her attention back on Steven.

"I knew something wasn't right about the capsule pod!" she said. "It didn't break apart in the crash, this thing must have sensed Peridot inside and destroyed it trying to get to her! That's how her gem got cracked! That thing is an ancient gem weapon that we used in the war – thank goodness you're safe!"

There was a loud _crack_ , and the three of them glanced over at the sound. Garnet had broken through the machine's outer skin with her punches, and it crumpled, falling backwards and thudding on the ground. Amethyst stepped forward and nudged it with her foot. It didn't move. "I think it's dead, guys!" she said.

"Be careful, Amethyst!" Pearl said sharply. "What if it wasn't?"

"Well, it is," said Garnet, straightening up. "So it doesn't matter. We need to get Peridot back to the temple."

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "So I'm still your prisoner?"

"Yes," Garnet replied flatly.

"...I'll admit, being held prisoner is an improvement over being chased by that _thing_." Peridot picked herself off the ground and stood up, crossing her arms. "Fine, I'll come quietly."

"Good." Garnet turned to Steven. "Steven, you're grounded."


	4. Peridot Hates Socialization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to my mom, who's reading this fic even though she's only seen a little bit of steven universe

**Day One**

"Pearl told your parents? And now you're grounded too? Aw man, I'm sorry, Connie... yeah, I dunno how long I'll be grounded... Peridot's ok, she's back in the temple. They talked with her about what happened, but didn't tell me anything about what she said. They're not letting me talk to her, either. No, it's fine. Yeah. Okay. Bye."

**Day Two**

"I'm so bored! I haven't seen Lars or Sadie in days! Pearl got me a donut and told Lars n' Sadie I was grounded, so at least they know where I am... Dad came to visit, though! I told him everything that happened with Peridot and he kind of freaked out, but I think it's okay. Okay. Okay. Bye, Connie."

**Day Three**

"I keep forgetting gems don't have to eat, because Amethyst eats all the time! Pearl went to get me another donut, and I asked her if she thought Peridot would want a donut, but she just looked at me weird and then I remembered... I don't know, she must be bored in there with nothing to do. Yeah, that's fine. Bye."

**Day Four**

"You got my message? Yeah, Garnet n' Amethyst n' Pearl have been acting weird lately, but they won't tell me what's wrong! They say I'm not ready, but I think I am! I don't know what I'm ready for, but I'm ready! Yeah, I think so too. It's gotta be something do to with Peridot, but they won't tell me, and I'm still not allowed to – yeah. I _knoooow_. Okay. Yeah. Bye, Connie."

**Day Five**

The Crystal Gems weren't in the house when Steven woke up. For a while, he lay there, staring at the ceiling, then he groaned and got up out of bed to make himself breakfast.

By the time he had finished toasting his waffles and was eating at the table, his phone buzzed with a text message from Connie. _Mom says I can come over as soon as you're not grounded anymore! :)_ it read. Steven swallowed his bite of syrup-covered waffle and texted her back.

_don't know when that will happen. the gems got really mad :(_

_Yeah, I think the only reason Mom is letting me go out is because she doesn't understand what happened._

_i'll ask garnet if she'll unground me soon_

_Okay. I have to go to school now :( :( :(_

_aw man really? talk to you later!_

Connie didn't text back after that, and Steven spent the rest of the morning lying on the couch reading. After some time, he finished his book and rolled over, falling off the couch and onto his stomach.

"I'm so bored!" he said out loud.

Just then, he heard the door to the temple opening. Steven quickly sat up and got back on the couch, peering at the door. Four of the five gems glowed, and the door split apart into four sections as the Crystal Gems walked out. 

"That went just _great_ ," Amethyst said loudly, standing with her hands on her hips by the warp pad.

"Don't be sarcastic, Amethyst." Pearl crossed her arms and frowned. "I honestly don't know what else you expected."

"I don't know what _you_ expected! It's always the same thing, every time we try and talk with her." Amethyst glared at nothing in particular and kicked the warp pad, hard. "Why do we even bother?"

"We have to think of something to do with her," Garnet said. "We can't keep her here forever."

"We could if we just bubbled her! Just beat 'er up until she goes back into her gem, and bubble her so she can't regenerate!" Amethyst smashed her fist into her palm. "That way, we could keep her here for as long as we wanted!"

"I'd like to consider that our last resort," Pearl said.

"Why? We do it to the gem monsters, and she's practically a monster!"

"She's been cooperative so far, that one incident aside. She'll put up a fight if we try to detain her like that."

"So what if she puts up a fight? We can take her!"

Pearl averted her gaze. "I really would like to refrain from any drastic measures," she said.

"Amethyst, enough," Garnet said. "We are not bubbling her. Not yet, anyway."

"Hey guys," Steven said. "Are you talking about Peridot?"

Pearl jumped in surprise. "Steven!" she said with forced cheeriness. "I didn't realize you were here!"

"Where else would I be? I'm still grounded, remember?" Steven got up off the couch and walked over to them. "By the way... can I be ungrounded? Connie wants to come over, but her mom will only let her if I'm not grounded anymore."

"No," said Garnet.

"Aww, c'mon!"

"You disobeyed our orders, almost let Peridot escape, and put yourself in serious danger," Garnet said. "You are grounded until you understand that what you did was wrong."

Steven looked down. "I just wanted to help..."

She patted his head. "I know you did. But you need to listen to us. Let us handle Peridot."

"...can I talk to her again?"

Garnet didn't answer, so Steven pressed onward. "Please? I promise I won't sneak in like I did last time!"

"How did you get in there, anyway?" Pearl asked.

"Oh, me and Connie went into my mom's room and wished for a door to appear."

Pearl scrunched up her face. "That's... a major security flaw. Do you think we could change that somehow?"

Steven shrugged and turned his attention back to Garnet. "So... can I? Please?"

"I'll think about it."

"Wait, seriously?" Amethyst stared at her. "Because that went _so great_ the last time!"

Garnet crossed her arms. "We are running out of options. Steven might think of something that we wouldn't otherwise. I'll think about it."

**Day Six**

"Garnet?"

"I'm still thinking."

**Day Seven**   
****

The isolation was starting to affect her. Peridot could deal with being alone for weeks on end, even enjoy it, sometimes, but this? She was trapped in a featureless room with nothing to do, with no way to contact Homeworld, and the only socialization she got was when the Crystal Gems came in to try and decide what to do with her. Peridot sighed, sitting against the wall. Like that was going to go anywhere.

At least she had gotten some information out of them. Apparently Jasper had fused with Lapis Lazuli and was now trapped at the bottom of the ocean, which was just the _worst_ way to top off this miserable situation. Peridot had requested reinforcement for her mission, her superiors had oh-so-graciously allowed Jasper to accompany her, and now _this_. Miserable, just miserable. And chances are, she would be the one blamed!

At the very least, help should be on its way. Eventually someone would notice that no reports were being sent back to Homeworld, and send someone to see what was wrong. Granted, that would put her in a whole new mess of trouble, but at least she would be away from _here_.

She heard the sounds of the Crystal Gems outside. Great, time for another discussion. What else was there to talk about? Peridot had tried to bargain with them, but they had made it clear that they weren't letting her go back to Homeworld. Their only other choices were to keep her locked up forever or to incapacitate her somehow. Peridot cringed at that thought.

"Okay, Steven." Peridot jerked her head up at the sound of Pearl's voice. "Be careful. We'll be here if anything goes wrong."

They were bringing the Steven to see her? From what she could tell, they didn't want the Steven to have anything to do with her, not after he had almost let her escape. Why were they bringing him now?

"Okay!" The Steven's voice sounded bright and cheery, and Peridot wrinkled her nose. "Do you think she'll like the stuff I brought?"

"Probably not." That was the fusion, Garnet. Peridot didn't share the same distaste for fusions that Jasper had, but she was unnerved by the idea that two gems could be willing to be so _close_ , all the time. She would never want that.

"Aww, do you really think so?" the Steven said.

"Dunno why you're doing this, Steven. It's not like you're gonna change her mind." And that was Amethyst, the one who was most hostile towards her. Amethyst was the one who had suggested they "crack her gem in half," something that Peridot was _not_ forgetting any time soon.

"Who knows, Amethyst, maybe I will, maybe I will..."

"Nah, you won't. I still think we should just –"

"Amethyst. She can hear us, you know." Garnet's voice was stern. Peridot frowned. What did they not want her to hear?

"She can? Hi, Peridot!"

Peridot rolled her eyes and grunted. That Steven was far too friendly for his own good.

The door opened, and all four of them walked in, the Steven carrying a bunch of bizarre, colorful objects stacked so high in his arms they covered his face. "Alright!" he said. "We're gonna have some quality bonding time!"

"Really," said Peridot, her eyes glancing from Amethyst to Pearl to Garnet, who all had their weapons out.

"Yeah!" The Steven dropped everything on the floor with a clatter. "I've got books, I've got board games, I've got a deck of cards... lots of stuff! And, of course, my charming personality!"

"And what, exactly, am I supposed to do with these?"

The Steven's face fell. "Well... I figured you'd be bored, being stuck in here all this time, so I thought I'd get you something to do! I mean, the board games all need two or more players to play, but..."

"Well, you're right about one thing, at least." Peridot picked up a board game piece that had fallen out of the box and rolled towards her. "This hasn't exactly been the most... stimulating experience."

"Alright!" His smile returned, and the Steven picked up one of the items. "I've got lots of books – Space Dog, the No Home Boys, an Unfamiliar Familiar, though that one's Connie's so you'll have to be really careful with it – oh, but there's a bunch of board games, too, like Citchen Calamity, but that needs at least four people, it's not fun with just two..."

Peridot was only half-listening as the Steven rambled on and on, her mind elsewhere. She couldn't use this as an opportunity to escape, not with the Crystal Gems here. What were they planning? They had to have an ulterior motive. It's not like they would force her to listen to this child's inane prattle for _fun_.

"So... what do you want to do first?"

She snapped back to attention. "The books," she said indifferently. Maybe she could learn something from the human's scholarly works.

"Oh, okay!" The Steven sat down across from her and grinned. She stared back. "Okay, let's start with Space Dog. Here, I'll read it to you!"

* * *

The journeys of Space Dog was _not_ a scholarly work. She lost interest soon enough. The Steven continued reading out loud, oblivious to how she had stopped paying attention. How long was this going to take? Peridot eyed the Crystal Gems, still holding their weapons, and wondered if this was some new form of torture.

Abruptly, music started playing from the Steven's pocket. Peridot started. "What is that?" she said sharply.

"Oh, that's just my cell." The Steven put the book down and took out his phone. "Connie's calling me! I'll tell her to call back later."

"Interesting. I've never encountered such a piece of technology." Peridot reached her hand out. "Can I see it?"

"Sure!" the Steven said cheerily, handing it to her.

Instantly, Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst stepped forward, Pearl thrusting her spear towards Peridot. "Drop it!" she commanded.

Peridot flinched and dropped the phone on the floor. The Steven picked it up and looked up at the Crystal Gems in confusion. "Guys? What's the matter?"

"Peridot's gem powers control technology." Garnet said. "We cannot allow her access to anything technological."

Peridot shrugged. "They're only compatible with gem technology," she said.

"Yeah, yeah!" Amethyst glowered. "We're not taking any chances!"

Pearl put her hand on the Steven's shoulder. "That's it, Steven, we're leaving. This was a bad idea."

"Aww, come on! She didn't mean anything, right?"

"Steven," said Garnet. "Please listen to us. You are done talking to her."

The Steven pouted, but stood up anyway. "Bye, Peridot," he said, waving. "You can keep the stuff! I'll come back for it later."

"If there is a later," Amethyst muttered.

On that dark note, the four of them left, leaving Peridot alone. She waited until she was absolutely certain they weren't coming back, and then held out her hand, her fingers detaching to form her screen.

It didn't matter that the Crystal Gems had realized her plan. One touch was enough to form a link, and while that hadn't been a possibility when she had encountered the ancient gem weapon, it had worked with the Earth phone device.

Rows of data appeared on her screen as it registered a connection, and for the first time since she had been assigned this project, Peridot smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> though I doubt it matters, I want to make it clear that "citchen calamity" is not a typo. that is the actual name of the board game that steven & the gems play, as it appears on the rules.


	5. Peridot Hates Board Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [changes plot of story like 3 times before going back to the original plot] nice
> 
> shoutout to the relatablepicturesof[steven universe character] gang

The next few visits passed by without major incident.

The Steven varied his tactics, reading from a book to her some days – Peridot assumed that each visit meant at least a day had passed, though it was impossible to tell – and playing board games with her the others. Peridot preferred the books; they, at least, were easy to tune out while the Steven read. The board games required participation on her part, and worse, occasionally the Steven would insist that one or two of the Crystal Gems play with them.

Citchen Calamity nearly ended in a calamity of its own when she, the Steven, Pearl, and Amethyst played together.

"Amethyst, you can't do that, that's cheating!" the Steven said. "Give back Peridot's salami. She needs that for her sandwich bar!"

"Tough luck!" Amethyst said, spreading out her cards on the board. "Now I get the double decker bonus."

"No you don't, because you cheated!" The Steven stood up and crossed his arms. "You have to give it back!"

"Amethyst, _please,_ " Pearl said. "Play by the rules."

"Uh, why? Who's gonna make me?"

"Do what you want," Peridot said tiredly.

"See? Even she knows what's up!" Amethyst leaned over to snatch more of Peridot's cards, but the Steven grabbed her arm.

"Amethyst, no! Stop cheating!"

She wrenched her arm out of his grasp. "Who cares? It's just a game!"

"It's the principle of the thing! If nobody followed the rules ever, society would fall apart!"

"Y'mean like this?" Amethyst flipped the board over onto Peridot, who jerked back in alarm.

"Amethyst!" the Steven shouted. "Why are you acting like this? You've never been like this when we played before!"

"Well, maybe, I don't wanna be playing with her!" Amethyst jerked her thumb at Peridot, who turned her head away.

Pearl quickly stepped in. "That's enough," she said, standing up. "Steven, Amethyst, I'm glad we all had fun, but I think it's time we cleaned up."

The Steven scowled at the ground. Amethyst glanced at him and shrugged. "Oh well. Good game, everyone!"

She stuck her tongue out at Peridot and walked out, leaving Pearl and the Steven to clean up the game.

Calamities aside, when she was alone, Peridot worked on the data she was receiving from the Steven's phone. It took a long time for her to interpret it, but slowly, she began to make sense of it, and one day, Peridot heard the Steven's voice coming out of her screen.

"Hey, Connie!" Peridot started at the sound, louder than she expected, and whipped her head around to the door, but nobody was at the other side. Taking a deep breath, she leaned against the wall, listening carefully for the sound of anyone coming while she focused on the conversation.

"Hey Steven!" That was the human's voice. It was somewhat distorted over the connection, but still recognizable. "Are you still grounded?"

"Nope, I'm officially ungrounded! You can come over any time now!"

"Awesome! I'll see if my parents will let me come over after school today. Are you going to talk to Peridot again?"

"I hope so! I dunno, though. I'm not sure it's working."

"Working to do what?"

"That's the problem – I don't know! Garnet n' Pearl keep talking about 'drastic measures' –" Peridot stiffened at this remark. "– and, I mean, I don't know what drastic means, but if we don't figure out something else to do, they're gonna do something bad!"

"How bad?"

"Amethyst wants to bubble her, like we do with the gem monsters, but we'd have to..." The Steven trailed off.

"Have to what, Steven?" Connie pressed.

"We'd have to hurt her badly enough that she'd go back into her gem and stop her from coming back, and I don't want to do that!"

Peridot cut the connection, her hands trembling in fear.

* * *

"Steven, what's the plan for today?" Garnet said, once she, Amethyst, and Pearl had opened the door to the temple.

"Well..." Steven furrowed his brow in concentration as they stepped through. There was still another door to go before they were in the room where Peridot was kept. "I was thinking, board games might not be such a great idea, but we haven't done any card games yet! Maybe Go Fish?"

"I dunno, Garnet," Amethyst said. "I don't think we're making any progress here. Can't we just go with my idea and stop wasting our time?"

"Hey, we're not wasting time!"

"Steven, Amethyst, please." Pearl stepped between them. "Don't start with this again."

"Please don't," said Garnet.

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I still think this is never going to work. What are we even trying to do here, anyway?"

"Amethyst, what did I _just_ say?"

"Fine, I'll shut up now."

Garnet unlocked the door and the four of them stepped inside, Amethyst hanging at the back. "Hi, Peridot!" Steven said cheerfully, closing the door behind him. "What do you want to –"

"I know what you're planning to do with me!"

Peridot stood glaring at them, her mouth set in a hard line and her fingers balled into fists. She was trembling all over, and Steven tilted his head in confusion. "Peridot, are you cold? You're shivering!"

Amethyst pulled her whip out of her gem and stepped forward. "Steven, get back!"

"I know you – I know you –" Peridot took a shaky breath. "I know you just want to get rid of me!" she shouted. "I'm not letting that happen! I'm leaving this place, and I'm going back to Homeworld!"

"We can't let you do that," Garnet said, clenching her fists and summoning her gauntlets. Peridot flinched, but stood her ground.

"Hey, hey, hang on!" Steven tried to run forward, but Pearl grabbed his arm, pulling him back. "What's going on? We're not going to get rid of you!"

"Then what are you going to do?" Peridot backed up as Amethyst and Garnet approached her, bumping into the wall. "Just – just trap me here forever! Right? _Right?_ I'm getting _out_ of here!"

She said that, but she didn't move, just stood there with her back pressed against the wall, shaking in fear. "Well?" Amethyst said. "You gonna escape or what?"

"I –" Peridot's eyes darted from Amethyst to Garnet to Pearl and Steven, then back to Amethyst. "I –"

"Whatever." Amethyst glanced up at Garnet. "Guess it's time for drastic measures, huh?"

"Amethyst, wait –"

Peridot paled and made a break for the door, but barely made it a few steps before Amethyst lashed her whip around her and yanked back, throwing her to the other side of the room. Peridot hit the wall hard and crashed on the floor, grimacing in pain, the whip still wrapped tight around her.

"Amethyst!" Garnet grabbed her whip before she could throw Peridot again. "Stop!"

"Why?" she shouted. "You know what the Homeworld gems are trying to do to Earth! Do you really want to let her go back and tell everyone we're still here? Do you really want them to reactivate the Kindergarten?"

She pulled back hard on the whip, but Garnet kept a tight grip. "No," she said, "but we don't have to resort to this!"

"Guys! Guys! Don't fight!" Steven shouted from where Pearl held him back.

"What else do we do, Garnet?" Amethyst said. "We can't let her go back! We can't keep her locked up forever! What do we _do_ with her? Hey, stop that!"

The last comment was directed at Peridot, who was squirming in her bindings, managing to free one of her arms. "What are y' gonna do?" Amethyst said. "Fight me? You don't look like you were built to fight! Not like _me!_ "

Pearl's eyes widened. "Is this what this is about? Amethyst –"

Garnet managed to get the whip away from her, and it disappeared with a flash of light, freeing Peridot. Amethyst took a step back and summoned another one from her gem. "Shut up!" Amethyst shouted, clutching the new whip tight. "Who cares what this is about? She's the enemy! We should never have kept her around!"

"So why don't you just get rid of me, then!" Peridot gingerly picked herself off the ground, standing up to face them again. "I know all about the war for this miserable planet!" she shouted. "I know what you've done! It's not like you haven't k – killed gems before! You're all traitors to your own kind!"

Pearl quickly covered Steven's ears. "Enough!" she said. "Nobody is killing anyone! We are all going to leave and resume this discussion with a calm –  _Steven!_ "

Steven twisted out of Pearl's grasp and ran over to Peridot. "Peridot! Are you hurt?"

Peridot flinched back. "Go away!" she shouted. "You ruined everything! I was the best at every job I was assigned to – my superiors were _proud_ of me! Then I get assigned to _this_ forsaken planet and – and – everything's ruined!"

She covered her face with her hands. Steven hesitated, then took a step closer. "It's okay," he said. "Hey, maybe, if you hear our side of the story –"

"Oh, I know your side of the story," Peridot said, glaring at him through her fingers. "Our plans for this planet would have wiped out all native lifeforms, and Rose Quartz and a bunch of other gems decided they cared more about a bunch of short-lived organic creatures than the advancement of gemkind. They defected from Homeworld, and chased their own kind off the planet!"

"That's not what happened at all!"

"It kind of is, Steven," Amethyst said.

"No!" Steven said loudly. "Mom loved all the life on Earth so much that she couldn't bear to see it destroyed! She gave up her home to protect everyone! You all did!"

Peridot snorted. "She loved humans more than other gems. Is that what you're saying?"

"I changed my mind let's bubble her," Pearl said.

"Wait!" Steven jumped up and threw out his arms. "We can't do that! We need to keep trying!"

"Steven, we are running out of options!" Pearl said. "We've been trying, and it's not working! Garnet, do you have any other ideas?"

"Yes," said Garnet.

As the three of them stared, she dispelled her gauntlets with a flash of light. "Amethyst, put your weapon away," she said.

"But –"

"Amethyst."

Garnet's voice was commanding, and Amethyst groaned, dropping the whip and dispelling it before it hit the ground. "Fine," she said. "But if something goes wrong, don't blame me!"

Garnet nodded and stepped towards Peridot. "Peridot," she said.

Peridot cringed and turned her head away, raising her arms to cover her gem. "It's okay," Garnet said. "I don't have my weapon. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Says you!" she shot back. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Because Steven's here," Garnet said. "If I hurt you in front of Steven, he would get really upset. He cares about you."

For a long moment, Peridot didn't move. Finally, she slowly put her arms down and looked up at Garnet. "What do you want?" she said.

Garnet kneeled down to look Peridot in the eye. "Steven's right," she said. "If we hear each other's side of the story, we might understand each other better. So tell us your side."

"Really?" Peridot said, raising her eyebrow. "Just like that? You're going to listen to me?"

"Yes."

"Fine, then." Peridot sighed. "I'll tell you."


	6. Peridot Hates Failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're entering headcanon territory. prepare for a bunch of junk that's probably going to be debunked by the next episode.
> 
> shoutout to my sister, the small meme

"I am confident you understand the importance of this project."

The gem sitting across from her had grey skin and wore her hair in a long black braid. She poked the holographic screen in front of her, opening up Peridot's file. "You've had excellent results so far," she continued. "We don't have any concerns regarding your performance. This will be easy for you."

Peridot nodded, keeping her expression neutral. She couldn't help but feel disappointed at being assigned this mission – nobody cared about Earth anymore, not since they had abandoned it – but hearing that her superiors had such confidence in her was uplifting. Just go to Earth, do her job, and move her way up the ladder.

Onyx pressed a button on her desk to open up a new screen. "There's been no gem activity detected on Earth since the war, but it would be wise to confirm. We're giving you the clearance to send a Red Eye."

"Understood."

"Your objectives have been uploaded to your database," Onyx said. "You are dismissed."

Peridot stood up and left, her footsteps echoing in the large, empty room.

Once she was in the hall, she opened up her own screen, establishing the connection to her database. Just as Onyx had said, her objectives were there, and she scrolled through them quickly, reading as she walked. Repair the warps and reactivate Earth's Kindergarten. 

Included with the upload was a wealth of information about Earth and what she would expect to find there. Humans were the dominant species, but in six thousand Earth years – two thousand four hundred Homeworld years – that may have changed. Many gem artifacts had been abandoned there after the war, and though most had been deactivated, it would be dangerous to explore the surface alone.

Peridot barely glanced up from her screen as she neatly moved to avoid another gem in the hall, and opened another file.

She continued reading all the way back to her station, a small, cramped room that she shared with two other gems. Neither of them were there, so Peridot had the room to herself, thankfully. Hopefully after this project was completed, she would be given a space of her own.

No sense fantasizing about what might be. Peridot sent a request for a Red Eye, and continued reading through the data on Earth.

* * *

The Red Eye did not report the presence of any gems on Earth. It also didn't come back. "We accounted for this possibility," Onyx told her in their next meeting. "It's not an issue. Continue with your mission."

So Peridot began shooting her flask robonoids to Earth, to seek out and repair the Homeworld to Earth warp. This was a success, with only one robonoid being damaged badly enough that she had to dispose of it.

The issue was that when she reached the Galaxy Warp, she found an odd marker that must have been left recently, being made of fragile paper and showing little sign of wear by the elements. When Peridot attempted to return with a plug robonoid, she found that the Homeworld Warp was down _again_. "Your objectives have been altered," was all Onyx said when she reported it. "Access the Kindergarten remotely. We can send a ship there directly once it's been reactivated."

Peridot sent a plug robonoid to Earth; she knew the domestic warps were activated, since her flask robonoids had been able to use them to access the Galaxy Warp, so it should be an easy matter to reach the Kindergarten.

Except, shortly after it arrived on Earth, Peridot lost contact with the robot. One after another, the others she sent met the same mysterious fate, and it took several days for her one to successfully reach the Kindergarten control room – only to be met with another horrible surprise.

"There are _gems_ on Earth!" she told Onyx. "They claim to have destroyed the Red Eye along with my plug robonoids, and have damaged the Kindergarten's control room. They call themselves the Crystal Gems and a 'Steven.'"

Onyx was unfazed by these revelations, merely staring at Peridot with a neutral expression, her hands folded. Peridot took a deep breath and continued.

"I'm going to need to go to Earth directly and manually repair and reactivate Kindergarten," she said. "I am requesting a ship and reinforcements to assist in my mission."

"Is that everything?" Onyx said.

Peridot hesitated. "I... believe so. I will prepare and submit the full report shortly."

"Do that," she said. "I will forward your requests to the appropriate persons. Your orders are to wait for further instructions. You are dismissed."

Peridot returned to her station unsettled. With nothing else to do, she opened up her database and absentmindedly scrolled through the files on Earth again.

* * *

Not even a day passed before she was called into another meeting with Onyx.

"You've been approved for an Emerald Hand," she said.

Peridot's eyes widened. "I didn't expect that. Are you certain –"

"The approval came from Yellow Diamond herself."

Peridot made a sort of strangled choking noise before she could find words. "I see," she squeaked out. "I won't let you down."

Onyx shrugged. "We'll make sure of that," she said. "You are required to present yourself at the workshop in sector eight before you leave for Earth. Your escort will meet you at the docking bay afterwards." 

She turned back to her screen. Peridot sat there for a few moments. "Am I dismissed?" she said.

"Yes," said Onyx without looking up. "Please be quick about it. We want you to leave for Earth as soon as possible."

Peridot stood up quickly. "Of course. My apologies."

* * *

The gem in the workshop Peridot was sent to was another Peridot.

They looked very similar; they were the same model, after all, with their gems in the same place on their forehead, the same detaching finger design, and the same colors in roughly the same places. There were some differences, though. The other Peridot's hair was rounded, and her clothes were all the same shade of green, apart from the diamond in the middle of her chest.

She looked Peridot over, standing in the middle of the workshop, then nodded. "Dottie," she said.

Peridot had no idea how to respond. "Peridot," she said finally. "My name is Peridot."

"So is mine," said the other Peridot. "So call me Dottie instead."

Peridot nodded. Dottie was a ridiculous name, in her opinion, but if that was what she wanted to go by, well, Peridot wouldn't argue. "I was told to report here before going to Earth," she said.

"Of course," said Dottie. "I was informed beforehand of your arrival. Have you done this before?"

"No." She didn't even know what was being done.

"Understandable." Dottie used four of her fingers to form a screen in front of her, while sending two of her fingers from her other hand floating away to type on a keyboard. "Please sit down over there," she said, while watching the screen scroll through rows and rows of data.

Peridot obliged, sitting on the smooth white bench Dottie had gestured to. There was barely enough space for her to sit, so many things were stacked on it. The whole setup was unorganized to the extreme, and Peridot wondered what kind of person Dottie was, to be running a place like this the way she was.

What kind of person did her superiors think Peridot was when they sent her here?

Dottie picked up a circular wire device and fitted it around Peridot's gem, a little awkwardly with only four fingers between both her hands. "This is going to hurt," she said. "Do you need a moment to brace yourself?"

"No," said Peridot. She immediately regretted it.

Searing pain shot out from Peridot's gem and blazed through the rest of her. Her body spasmed, and she gritted her teeth and gripped the side of the bench to keep from crying out. Thankfully, after the initial spike, the pain soon eased up to a more manageable burn around her gem, and Peridot took several deep breaths to compose herself, her cheeks flushing with the embarrassment of reacting the way she did.

Dottie removed the wire device. "Thank you," she said. "This will only take a moment."

She unwrapped the wires and fed them into a slot in a machine. Tapping her foot, she sent two more of her fingers away to type at another keyboard, watching the machine until it whirred and a two-pronged fork extruded from the top.

"Excellent," Dottie said, and she reached out to take it, only to pause when she realized that she was down to one finger on each hand.

Peridot felt a thrill of satisfaction. See, she thought, this is why I'm given higher and higher clearance and you're stuck here, why I'm moving up through the ranks and you're just some nicknamed nobody who can't even keep track of her fingers.

Dottie recalled all her fingers back to her hand and picked up the fork. "This is your kill switch," she said.

The thrill Peridot had felt quickly turned into a chill of fear. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's a gem destabilizer, but it will only function when used on you. Furthermore, when used, you will be unable to regenerate until your gem is manually reactivated by someone with the proper clearance. It will be given to your commanding officer on this mission. Just procedure."

She put the destabilizer on a circular platform, pressed her hand to it, and with a flash of light, warped it away. "You may go now," she said.

Peridot left feeling sick inside.

* * *

The gem waiting for her at the docking bay was enormous. She stood nearly two heads taller than Peridot and had a thick, muscular build. "You must be the Peridot," she said, crossing her arms. "So you're responsible for wasting my time."

Peridot was worn out from all the stress she had been put through and her gem still throbbed from the device Dottie had used on it. She was already on the edge of her temper, and this gem was the final push.

"I was given the clearance to do what was necessary to accomplish my mission," she snapped. "If you think that reactivating Earth's Kindergarten is a waste of time, too bad! It's my job, and I'm going to do it, regardless of how many gems make it difficult for me!"

For a moment, the larger gem just stared at her. Then she grinned and laughed.

"You're not so boring after all!" she said. "Name's Jasper. Try to be just as entertaining on the trip to Earth, and maybe this will be bearable."

Peridot had just lost her temper at a general who had fought in the war for Earth, as well as the gem who would have most likely been given her kill switch. She stiffened, her anger draining away and fear filling the emptiness it left. "I apologize," she said. "My name is Peridot. It's a... pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Jasper's smile faded. "Oh, now you're sucking up to me? Thought you were different than the others."

"I wasn't aware being polite was 'sucking up.'"

Jasper waved a hand in dismissal. "Whatever, whatever. Let's get everyone on board."

"How many gems are coming with us?"

"Just the Lapis Lazuli gem. She's the last gem to have returned from Earth, and was apparently held prisoner by these Crystal Gems for a few thousand years." Jasper scowled. "She's also our prisoner now, after neglecting to tell us the existence of these Earth gems."

Peridot nodded. "Understandable." She hadn't even heard of Lapis Lazuli before now. Nobody had bothered to inform _her_ that a gem had returned from Earth.

A thought occurred to her. "They gave us an Emerald Hand for only three of us?"

Jasper snorted. "Overkill. Maybe they think we need the space for prisoners." She grinned. "Maybe they think Rose Quartz is still there."

That was a name Peridot recognized. Before she could comment on it, Jasper gestured for her to follow her.

"Didn't they tell you to hurry?" she said. "Get moving."

* * *

They spent a few days traveling to Earth. Peridot busied herself by rereading the files she had on Earth. Jasper busied herself by harassing either Lapis or Peridot herself. It was a difficult experience.

They arrived on Earth. They successfully detained the Crystal Gems. They failed to detain the Crystal Gems. The ship was taken. Peridot escaped.

"The last thing I remember is landing on Earth," Peridot said. "I assume that shortly afterwards, that... _machine_ attacked, cracked my gem, and I lost my memory."

She crossed her arms. "That's my story."

Steven stared at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. "I have so many questions," he said.

"And we can answer them later," Pearl said firmly. "Frankly, I don't think Steven should have been here for this!"

"Whaaat? Why not?"

"He would have learned eventually," Garnet said before Pearl could respond. She stood up and nodded at Peridot. "Thank you for your story."

Peridot grumbled something under her breath and looked away.

"Can we go now?" Amethyst said loudly.

Steven jumped to his feet. "Oh man, Connie! She wanted to come over today! I gotta go, bye!"

Pearl unlocked the door, and one by one, the four of them left. Garnet was the last, looking back at Peridot before she left. "We'll talk later," she said. Peridot nodded.

The door closed and locked, and Peridot was left alone. Her body still ached from Amethyst's attacks, and she was utterly miserable. Her escape plan – not that it had been much of a plan in the first place – had failed. She was still trapped on Earth, still held prisoner by the Crystal Gems.

At the very least, she was still here, not forced back into her gem or worse.

She had to be content with that.


	7. Peridot Hates Her Prison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent ages on this chapter and it's only 1500 words. Ain't That Just The Way
> 
> shoutout to my sister, again. her birthday was yesterday! I tried to get this chapter finished by then but that didn't work out.

Outside, Connie and Steven were sitting by the cliff, talking to each other. Pearl watched from the window with a worried expression.

"He tells her everything, you know," she said, turning to Amethyst and Garnet.

"It's good that he has someone to talk to," Garnet said.

"He can talk to us!"

"Not really," Amethyst said. "I mean, sure, he could, but we don't tell him anything. He just learned more from Peridot than he ever learned from us."

Pearl puffed out her cheeks. "He wasn't ready!" she said. "I still don't think he's ready!"

"It doesn't matter," said Garnet, stepping between them. "Even if he isn't ready, he needs to know. If Yellow Diamond is coming to Earth, then he's going to find out whether we want him to or not."

Both Amethyst and Pearl flinched at Yellow Diamond's name. "Don't be ridiculous, Garnet," Pearl said nervously. "We don't know if she's coming –"

"Someone's going to come to see why Peridot and Jasper haven't returned." Garnet folded her arms across her chest. "She expressed enough interest to get involved, if Peridot is to be believed. We need to be prepared for that possibility. Even Steven."

For a long moment, none of them said anything. Pearl looked like she was about to cry, standing there wringing her hands. Then a new expression came over her, and she frowned. "The kill switch bothers me," she said. "Something like that... it wouldn't work on just any gem. The gem would have to be made with the appropriate functions. They are making gems with the ability to be deactivated now. That has to have been a recent development. They certainly didn't "

"Well, that's good to know," Amethyst said, shrugging. "Man, I'm kind of glad I never got to go to Homeworld. It sounds wild, and not in the good way."

Pearl looked away. "It was... nice. For a while. Sometimes I wish things had gone differently, that we could still..."

"There's no point in dwelling on the past," Garnet said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "There is only now. We have to figure out what to do with our future."

"So what do we do with Peridot?" Amethyst said.

"She's afraid of us," Garnet said.

"Yeah." Amethyst grinned. "Feels pretty good!"

"Amethyst."

"What?" she snapped. "We've been scared of the Homeworld gems coming back ever since Peridot appeared at the Galaxy Warp! We're still scared! It's kind of nice to have one of them be scared of _us_ for a change!"

Pearl frowned. "Well, when you put it that way..."

"No," said Garnet.

"No what?" Amethyst whirled around to face her. "Are we not allowed to feel that way? After everything they've done to us?"

"It's not that," she said, turning away from her.

"Then what is it? Huh?"

"It's Steven."

Amethyst and Pearl stared at her. "What?" said Pearl.

"It's Steven," said Garnet. "Despite what she's done, he really cares about her. He really thinks she can be... good."

"And what do you think, Garnet?" Pearl asked, stepping forward.

Garnet frowned. "There are many possible futures where she tries to escape," she said. "There are several where she attacks us in these attempts, and a total of two where she succeeds."

"So it's settled! She's –"

Garnet raised a hand before Amethyst could finish. "There's something else," she said. "In all these possible futures, she stops when Steven gets involved. She takes measures to avoid hurting him. There is not a single possible future in which Peridot deliberately hurts Steven.

"Whatever Steven is doing, it's working."

* * *

"So there's more than one of gems! Like, Peridot told us that she met another Peridot, and I guess she didn't like her? But I mean... does this mean there's other Pearls, too? Other Amethysts? Other _Garnets?_ "

"I guess it makes sense," Connie said. "I mean, there are only so many gem names you can have, but..."

"And they made a kill switch for her!" Steven said, leaning closer to her. "Like, you know those yellow spark thingies I told you about? The destabilizers?"

Connie nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Yeah! They made one that only works on her, and if they use it, she can't regenerate until, uh... someone else reactivates it? I dunno how that part works, and Pearl wouldn't answer my questions. But it's horrible! Why would gems do that to other gems?"

"It is horrible." Connie shook her head "I guess gems have different, uh, morals than humans do. Maybe?"

"Maybe." Steven looked down at his lap. "I think Dad was right. Most gems aren't like my mom and Garnet n' Amethyst n' Pearl."

Connie frowned. "Are you going to keep talking to Peridot?"

"Yeah, if they'll let me after she tried to escape again."

"Can I talk to her?"

Steven tilted his head. "You want to?"

Connie nodded forcefully and smiled. "Yeah! She could've tried to hurt us when she escaped and we both got grounded, but she didn't! So I think she can still be a good person."

"Maybe..." Steven's eyes lit up. "Maybe you're right! Yeah, I'll ask the gems if we can both talk to Peridot! It'll be a lot easier to play Citchen Calamity without Amethyst, probably."

"What's Citchen Calamity?"

"Oh man, Connie, let me tell you..."

* * *

When Garnet opened the door and walked into her prison, Peridot braced herself. The only reason she hadn't been hurt worse earlier was because the Steven had been there. Now they were alone, and Peridot had no idea what the other gems' plans were for her.

"Peridot," said Garnet.

Peridot squeaked out something that could potentially sound like a "Yes?" and started coughing violently.

"I'm here to explain the situation," Garnet said.

"Oh," said Peridot. "Have you decided what to do with me?"

"In a way."

Oh. That wasn't good. That wasn't good at all. Peridot flinched and took a step back. "So?" she said, her voice shaking. "What is it?"

"We can't let you go back to Homeworld," Garnet said, crossing her arms. "But we aren't going to hurt you."

Peridot's body still hurt from her altercation with Amethyst. "Not again, you mean?" she said.

"What happened earlier won't happen again, but we need you to cooperate with us."

"Of course," said Peridot. "I'll cooperate just fine. As long as you don't bubble me or –  _kill_ me or –"

"We're not going to do any of those things."

She didn't believe her. They had said it themselves; they couldn't keep her trapped her here forever. Was Garnet telling her that was what they had decided on doing? Eventually, they were going to tire of it.

Unless she cooperated.

In that moment, Peridot gave up her plans of escape. Survival took priority. She would do whatever they told her until she was rescued. There was nothing else she could do.

* * *

The Steven came for another visit shortly afterwards, this time accompanied by not only the Crystal Gems, but also the human, Connie. "Hi!" she said brightly. "Remember me?"

Peridot nodded once and didn't say anything.

"Uh..." Connie seemed to be unnerved by Peridot's reaction, or lack thereof. "I know last time didn't really go so well, but Steven thought..."

She trailed off, leaving the Steven to jump in. "We're gonna play Citchen Calamity again!" he said, holding up the box. "This time, Amethyst won't be playing, because she keeps stealing your cards, and is also really mean to you for some reason?"

Amethyst snorted, leaning against the wall. "Yeah. 'For some reason.' _Definitely_ not because she's trying to destroy all life on earth."

The Steven ignored her. "Okay," he said. "We need four players. Pearl, Garnet, which one of you want to join in?"

"I'll play," said Garnet.

"Great!" He sat down on the floor and opened the box. "This will go much better than last time, I promise."

The four of them were mid-game, Pearl and Amethyst watching from the sidelines, when Connie looked up and frowned at Peridot. "Are you alright?" she asked. "You seem... sad."

Peridot looked at her blankly, then shook her head. "It's none of your concern," she said. "I'm fine."

* * *

The pressure was immense, pinning the two of them to the ocean floor. Pinning the one of her. Two. One.

There were conflicting wants in her head. She had to stay. She was a prisoner. She had to leave. She wanted to be free. She couldn't tell her thoughts apart anymore, she had been fused so long.

Once she had been Lapis Lazuli. She had dragged herself down to the bottom of the ocean. The chains were still there, binding her, and it was through the sheer willpower of what was left of Lapis that they remained.

They couldn't last forever.

A low rumbling sound came from deep within her body.

Malachite wanted to be _free._


	8. Peridot Hates the Ceaseless Passage of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the wait! this chapter gave me Significant Amounts of Trouble. it's not even as long as I wanted it to be, but I managed to get everything I wanted to happen in this chapter in under 2000 words. though roughly 1800 words is better than the not-even-1500-word chapter that was the last one.
> 
> anyway, I'm gonna try for a once-a-week update schedule, every thursday. I'm only updating on wednesday today bc I've been sitting on this chapter for a day already and I've stuffed as much revision into it as it can take so it's pretty much done. but for next week, you'll have a new steven universe episode & a new steven universe fic update to look forward to!
> 
> ok here is chapter

Over time, her cell gained the following additions:

1\. A pile of books, that Steven hadn't taken back yet despite the fact that Peridot couldn't read human language. She flipped through them occasionally, if only because she had nothing better to do.

2\. A variety of pictures taped to the walls, drawn by Steven and Connie. Mostly they depicted Peridot herself.

3\. Board games, in a slightly used, but overall good condition.

4\. Citchen Calamity, in awful condition after Amethyst had declared herself "Pumazilla" and stepped on everything. Something about the game seemed to invite even more calamity than was already present.

Peridot's database informed her that eight Homeworld days – which translated to about twenty of this miserable planet's days – had passed before they had exhausted the amount of stimulation that could be derived from these activities. They had finished all the books, drawing was uninteresting, despite how much Steven praised Peridot's perfect circles, and Amethyst was intent on interfering with every board game they played. What else could they do? Peridot wondered if her gem would crack through the sheer boredom. The thought frightened her more than it ought to.

Eventually, Steven suggested they take her outside.

He was incredibly enthusiastic about the idea, prattling on and on about how fun it would be to show her "Beach City" and introduce her to everyone, but that idea was quietly shot down by the others.

"Absolutely not!" Pearl said.

"We shouldn't let Peridot be seen by any humans," Garnet said.

"Aww..." Steven pouted, then his eyes lit up again. "Well, what if we just go to the beach? That way, we won't run into anyone probably!"

"Well..." Pearl glanced at Peridot, who crossed her arms and stayed silent.

Amethyst snorted and shook her head. "What's the point?" she said.

"Steven," said Garnet. "Do you think this will help?"

Help what, Peridot thought, rolling her eyes.

Steven nodded forcefully. "Yeah! I mean, we've pretty much run out of things to do here! So we should go outside! There's tons more stuff to do outside!"

Peridot didn't see the point in being allowed outside at all – all it would provide her with would be false hope of freedom – but she had a feeling she wouldn't be allowed input on the conversation. Instead, she absentmindedly flipped through one of the books Steven had left, wondering if she could translate it, given enough time.

Pearl frowned. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"None of this has been a good idea," Amethyst muttered.

Garnet didn't acknowledge either of them. "If you have a plan, then I will allow it. Only if you're supervised."

"Thank you, Garnet!"

* * *

"I don't actually have a plan," Steven admitted later, when they were out on the beach.

Pearl, who had volunteered to supervise the two of them, sighed. "Oh, Steven..."

"How about we just walk for a while? I think that's a good plan! It's nice to get some fresh air, right, Peridot?"

A breeze blew in from the sea, and Peridot squinted. It was too big out here, too open, like she was in space again, almost. Peridot had never liked the idea of space travel; they had invented the warps for a reason. She was never meant to travel through a bleak unending void to an abandoned planet that no Homeworld gems cared about anymore. Those weren't the exact words of the information in her database, but they were the gist of it.

And then she had been assigned to it.

As the three of them, Pearl, Steven, and herself, walked along the beach, Peridot began to think about for the first time what would happen when she went back home.

First she would have to report what had happened. The Emerald Hand had been destroyed. Jasper had fused with the prisoner and was now kept trapped at the bottom of Earth's ocean. The Crystal Gems, even though there were only four of them, had proven to be too... not powerful, but resourceful. Peridot had failed in her mission because of them.

She would have to explain herself, of course, but her superiors would understand. Yes, she had managed to lose a Red Eye, an Emerald Hand, and Jasper, but it hadn't been _her_ fault! Right?

Maybe she should have paid closer attention to the prison cells, maybe she should have gone for one of the gems instead of trying to use the destabilizer on the Steven, but it wasn't her fault! Nobody had accounted for something like Steven!

"Peridot?"

Her thoughts on Steven were a mess, and hearing his voice saying her name didn't help. Garnet said that he cared about her. Peridot had considered more than once that this might be a lie. An act to get her to drop her guard.

And then her thoughts went back to the incident in the forest, with the machine left over from the war. He had risked his life trying to protect her. He had stood between her and a gem-killing machine. Had that been an act? Peridot didn't think so.

"I think we should turn back now," said Steven, and he grabbed her hand to stop her from walking any farther on the beach. Peridot flinched and yanked her hand away, accidentally hitting him in the face.

Instantly, Pearl yanked her spear out of her gem and held the tip to Peridot's throat. Peridot froze in place.

"Pearl, no no no!" Steven cried. "It was an accident! I'm not hurt!"

"Accident or not, we are going back to the temple!" Pearl said harshly. "When Garnet hears about this –"

"Whoa, Steven, what are you doing?"

All three of them flinched. "Uh, _heeey_ , Ronaldo," Steven said nervously.

"What is he _doing_ here?" Pearl hissed under her breath.

Peridot stared at the human. He was larger than Connie was – an older human, perhaps? – and his skin was lighter, more like Steven's. His hair was thick and yellow, and he squinted at the three of them through his glasses and held up a phone, like the one Steven had. The phone clicked, and Pearl's spear shifted slightly, just enough for Peridot to remember that it was still held against her throat.

"We're just going on a walk!" Steven said, glancing up at Pearl. "It's, uh, nice seeing you, but we were just about to head back to the temple, so..."

Ronaldo frowned. "Who's the green lady?" he said.

"Oh, this is –"

"None of your concern," Pearl said, taking the spear away from Peridot's throat. Peridot reflexively relaxed, but kept her guard up – Pearl was still holding it like it could be used at any moment. "Steven, let's go back."

"Okay," Steven said. "See ya, Ronaldo!"

He waved at him and they turned to leave, Pearl taking hold of Peridot's arm to turn her around. Peridot hesitated, just barely, and caught one last glimpse of the human looking suspiciously at them before they started walking away.

They had walked far; Peridot hadn't noticed the passage of time when she had been lost in thought, but even at Pearl's brisk pace, it took some time before they were close to the temple. They were just at the cliffside when they heard a yell. " _Help!_ "

Steven's eyes widened. "That sounds like Peedee!"

Pearl gripped her spear tighter. "Is he in trouble?"

"There's some sort of magic monster!" the voice continued, coming from above their heads. "It's, uh, totally magic! Way too powerful for humans! Help!"

Steven's expression faltered. "Uh... I don't actually know."

Pearl sighed, and bent down to look Steven in the eye. "Steven, I need to make sure there's nothing dangerous happening. Take Peridot directly into the house. Garnet and Amethyst will be waiting there. I'll be back in a second to open the door to the temple, okay?"

Steven nodded. "Okay!"

Pearl nodded in response, and straightened up. "You," she said, glaring at Peridot. "Don't try anything."

Then she leapt into the air, over the edge of the cliff and out of sight.

"Alright!" Steven said brightly. "Let's go and –"

He was cut off by some sort of oblong organic object whooshing past his head and landing some distance in the sand in front of him. Steven stood there with his mouth open for one long moment, then said, "Was that a _potato?_ "

The next "potato" hit him in the head and knocked him to the ground.

Peridot stared at him with her mouth open.

"Hey, green lady!" called a familiar voice. She turned to see the Ronaldo human from before waving at her. "Quick, over here!"

Steven rolled onto his back and rubbed his head. "Owww... what's going on?"

Peridot looked down at him, then back at Ronaldo. "What are you _doing_?" she said.

Ronaldo grinned. "I'm rescuing you! Duh! I mean, you're pretty obviously a prisoner. Come on, Peedee's pretty good at distracting people, but he won't be able to do it forever!"

"Peridot, no!" Steven cried, and tried to stand up, only to fall back onto the ground. " _Owww!_ "

She backed away. "They're going to kill me," she said numbly. "They're going to blame me for this, and then they'll bubble me or _kill_ me or worse!"

"So what are you waiting for? Come with me!"

Peridot took one last glance at Steven.

* * *

As soon as she determined that there was no monster, magic or otherwise, Pearl sighed and, despite his insistence that she stay, left Peedee to go back to Steven.

What she saw, looking down from the top of the cliff, made her gasp.

Peridot and Ronaldo were running one way, and Steven was lying on the sand some distance away from them, holding his head. Pearl whipped her head from Peridot to Steven. She couldn't let her get away, but if Steven was hurt...!

She jumped down and landed by Steven's side. "Steven! What did she do to you?"

Steven groaned as Pearl helped him to his feet. "It wasn't Peridot, it was Ronaldo! He threw a potato at me! Oww... you've gotta go after them!"

Pearl hesitated. "You come first," she said firmly. "They won't get far. We're getting you back to the temple."

"But..."

"Steven! You're hurt! There's no warp pads nearby other than the one in the temple – they won't get far at all! I'll just –"

She scooped up Steven in her arms. "There we go!" she said with forced cheeriness. "We'll get you back to the temple, Garnet and Amethyst can go after Peridot, and I'll stay here and take care of you!Everything's going to be just fine!"

"Okay..." Steven mumbled.

Pearl wished she could believe her own words as well as he did.


	9. Peridot Hates Donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for thursday updates! I did rly well getting this chapter done on time, so I'm confident I can get next week's done by thursday too
> 
> in other news, this chapter is an embarrassment. I am embarrassed. I keep rereading parts of it and getting a dopey grin on my face. [unikitty voice] Embarrassing!
> 
> ok here we go

Amethyst and Garnet returned after a few hours, accompanied by Greg, who rushed to Steven's side the moment he got through the door. "Steven! Garnet told me what happened – are you alright? Did you get a concussion? Man, I am going to have a real talk with Ronaldo once they find him."

Steven, holding an ice pack to his head, nodded and returned his dad's tight hug. "I'm okay, my head just hurts a _lot_." He looked up at Garnet. "Does that mean you didn't find them?"

"No," said Garnet. "We didn't."

Pearl looked up from where she sat reading a medical textbook. "What?" she exclaimed.

"We looked everywhere!" Amethyst flopped down on the couch with a groan. "Garnet says they haven't left beach city, but we asked everyone if they had seen them, and nobody has! Not even Peedee; Ronaldo got him to distract Pearl, and just ran off."

"We searched the perimeter and informed the mayor that they would be trying to leave the city," Garnet said. "He'll contact us if they try to leave through any conventional means."

"What if they try to leave through unconventional means?" Pearl said, putting the book down and walking over to her. "We don't even know if they'll stay together!"

"If they don't leave on a road, they'll have to travel by foot. We'll catch them."

"Are we gonna go back out?" Amethyst said, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "You're gonna make us go back out, aren't you."

"Yes," said Garnet. "We only came back to check on Steven. We need to search until we find them."

" _Ugh._ Fine." Amethyst got to her feet and walked to the door. "Let's try asking Ronaldo's dad again."

Garnet nodded, and the two of them left without another word, Amethyst waving goodbye at Steven. Once they were gone, Pearl pursed her lips and began pacing back and forth in the room.

"This is bad," she said.

"Not too bad, I hope?" Greg said, a little nervously.

"Very bad! If Peridot manages to contact Homeworld..." Pearl inhaled sharply. "Oh, I don't even want to think about it! They'll find them, they'll find them, I'm certain of it!"

She didn't sound certain at all. Steven frowned. "Before..."

"Before what, Steven?" Pearl said.

"When Peridot sent the robots," he said. "She sent them to Kindergarten, right?"

Pearl stopped dead in her tracks. "Steven, are you saying that they might've gone to the Kindergarten?"

Steven opened his mouth to reply, but Pearl was already pacing again and talking to herself.

"It would make sense. There's enough gem technology there that she would be able to control with her power... and she was already able to connect to it from Homeworld, so theoretically, she could form another link... Garnet said they didn't leave the city, but what if she was wrong? What if they're heading to Kindergarten _now?_ "

* * *

Peridot scrunched up her face at the round object Ronaldo held out to her. "What is this... thing?"

"It's a donut!" Ronaldo said brightly.

"What's a 'donut?'"

"It's food. You eat it! Want to try one?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." The Sadie human popped her head into the employee's room. "Lars and I might cover for you when Steven's guardians come looking, but if you start eating our donuts without paying for them, you're crossing the line, Ronaldo."

"I can pay, let me just get my wallet..." Ronaldo pulled a folded black rectangle out of his pocket, then glanced up at Peridot. "Hey, green lady, how many do you want?"

"My name is Peridot."

"Okay. Peridot, how many do you want?"

She crossed her arms. "I don't want any. Gems don't have to eat."

Ronaldo's eyes widened. "Really? That's so cool! Where do you get your energy from? You're a multi-dimensional being, right? What level are you?"

Peridot looked at him with a blank expression. "Our physical projections are powered by our gem," she said. "I don't know what a level is."

"Oh, you probably wouldn't use the same classification system. You see, level one dimensional beings are, like, animals and most humans, and level _two_ –"

At the doorway, Sadie coughed. "How many donuts do you want, Ronaldo?"

He started. "Right! A triple, please! Can you bring them back here? I don't want anyone to see us."

Sadie's expression softened. "Yeah, we can do that. Sorry, I'm just a little on edge. Like, I know they all take good care of Steven, but Garnet's a little..." She hesitated. "She's a little scary."

Peridot shuddered. "You're telling _me_."

The time they spent huddled in the back room while the Crystal Gems were in the donut shop was brief, but it had felt like an eternity. Peridot was certain, hugging her knees to her chest, that Garnet and Amethyst would see right through them and come into the back room to investigate, but they hadn't. All they had done was question Lars and Sadie, and then they left.

After being surrounded by them while she cowered in fear, Peridot never wanted to see a donut again.

"Hey... Peridot, right?"

Snapped out of her thoughts, Peridot looked up to see Sadie looking at her with a concerned expression. "You doin' all right? I don't know much about what's going on, but you don't look so good."

The more time she spent here, the more Peridot was baffled by humans, and for a moment, she didn't know how to respond to Sadie's concern. "I'm fine," she said, and left it at that.

"You know what? I'll throw in a fourth donut for free, just in case you change your mind about wanting one." Sadie left the doorway, disappearing from sight. Peridot stared at where she had been. Humans were bizarre.

Next to her, Ronaldo shifted his position slightly. "So... what's the plan?"

Peridot shook her head to get her thoughts in order. "I need to contact Homeworld," she said.

"Whoa... Homeworld, huh? Is that the planet you're from?"

"Yes." She frowned. "Why do you have that expression?"

Ronaldo was grinning broadly. "I can't believe I'm talking to an actual, real-live alien!" he said.

Peridot raised an eyebrow. "You mean you haven't spoken to the Crystal Gems?"

"What, you mean Steven's guardians? They're totally normal, they've been here in Beach City since I was a kid. There's nothing weird about them. I bet they're only level two, not even level three."

She stared at him blankly.

"So how do we contact Homeworld?" he asked.

"Right." Peridot held out her hand in front of her, forming her screen as usual. "The location of Earth's Kindergarten was uploaded into my database before I left," she said, prodding the screen with her finger and opening up a map. "I should be able to – _do not touch that!_ "

Ronaldo, caught in the middle of reaching out for one of Peridot's fingers, jerked his hand back. "Sorry!"

"...Anyway. Kindergarten should have all of the technology I need to reestablish a link with Homeworld. It's about a day's travel from here." She frowned. "However, the Crystal Gems will be expecting me to go there. It will be dangerous. But it's the only chance I have..."

She trailed off, staring at her screen. Absentmindedly, she opened up the files for Earth's Kindergarten. Kindergartens were the most efficient way to mass-produce gems; though there were other ways to make gems, such as the Peridot model, they took more energy and resources to create, and there was more variation between individuals. With Kindergartens, hundreds, if not thousands of gems could be made at once, with little variation.

The problem was that there were few planets with significant amounts of the organic material needed for gems. The few Kindergartens that were made proved that the theory worked, but could hardly be called successful. Then they had found Earth, teeming with resources, a perfect place to set up a Kindergarten.

The Kindergarten had barely been running for a century before Rose Quartz shut it down.

"Whatcha looking at?"

Peridot nearly jumped out of her skin when Ronaldo spoke – when had he gotten so close to her? "None of your business," she snapped, shutting down her screen and returning her fingers to her hand. "I am going to the Kindergarten. You are staying here."

"Are you kidding? Of course I'm coming with you!"

"I don't need a human slowing me down."

"Hey, I'm no ordinary human! I have experience in stuff like this!"

"I highly doubt that." Peridot stood up. "You don't know who I am, you don't know why I was sent here, and you obviously don't know what the endgame is for this planet, otherwise you wouldn't have helped me."

"Oh, really?" Ronaldo stood up to face her, crossing his arms. "I bet if you asked, you'd find out I know a lot more than you think!"

"Really. Then I'm asking. Tell me, why am I here? What is gemkind's ultimate purpose for this planet?"

Ronaldo took a step back, inhaled, and pointed a finger at her. "You were sent here by the Great Diamond Authority, and your mission is to hollow out the Earth for ease of transportation back to your home planet!"

Peridot's mouth dropped open.

Ronaldo grinned. "I'm right, aren't I?"

She shook her head. "You're... uncomfortably close." It was an odd way of putting it, but Kindergartens did use up significant amounts of the Earth's crust that it could be considered hollowing it out. The transportation part was all wrong, of course, but he was technically right about the leaders of gemkind. There was still the question of why he was helping her if he knew all that, but Peridot wasn't going to try and understand what went on in the minds of humans.

"So I was right! I knew it!"

Peridot sighed. "Fine. You can accompany me."

If nothing else, she had to report him to her superiors. Hopefully having a human tag along with her wouldn't slow her down too much.

* * *

"This isn't going to work," Peridot said, standing on the road leading outside of town.

Peridot's disguise consisted of a tarp wrapped around her like a cloak. Ronaldo's disguise was a hat and a fake beard. Peridot had no idea where he had found those. Regardless, she was certain of one thing: these disguises would fool nobody.

"Sure it will!" Ronaldo insisted. "Nobody will know it's me – I've tried to grow a beard before and it turned out _awful._ And you... well..." He frowned. "Okay, maybe you have a point."

Peridot glared at him and threw the tarp off her. "Do you have any better ideas?"

Ronaldo furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin. After a long silence, he finally spoke up. "No."

She groaned. "Fine. We'll try your way. It's not like I'm any less dead if we stay here."

She picked up the tarp and wrapped it around her again. After a moment's consideration, she concentrated, changing her form. Peridot's design wasn't the best for shapeshifting, but she could make some small changes. Exaggerate her curves, lessen her height, and compress her body, and she looked different enough. To complete the disguise, she decided to let her hair down from the diamond she normally kept it in, and it fell around her shoulders.

"There," she said, and looked up to see Ronaldo staring at her. "What is it?"

"That was so cool."

Peridot blinked. "That's... nice."

Ronaldo shook his head and grinned. "Alright! Nobody will recognize us now!"

Behind them, they heard the squealing of brakes as a vehicle slowed to a stop. "Hey! Ronaldo!"

The two of them flinched. "I'm dead," said Peridot.

Ronaldo coughed and turned around. "Hello, Mayor Dewey!" he said in an exaggerated deep voice. "I'm afraid you've, uh, mistaken me for someone else. I'm not Ronaldo, I'm Orlando!"

Mayor Dewey frowned at them, leaning out the window of his van. "Well, you certainly look a lot like Ronaldo," he said through his megaphone. "I was told to watch out for him and a green lady. Who's that mysterious person next to you?"

"I am so dead," Peridot said.

"This is, uh..." Ronaldo put an arm around Peridot's shoulders and pulled her close. "This is... my beautiful wife!"

Peridot, caught off guard, nearly fell over, and ended up putting most of her weight on Ronaldo. For a moment, nobody said anything, Ronaldo trembling with the strain of holding Peridot up. Dewey raised an eyebrow.

"Ronaldo, _please_." he said.

"It's true!" Ronaldo's forehead broke out in sweat. "We're just... two vacationers trying to get home! Really!"

"Listen – " With his free hand, Dewey took out his cellphone. "– I'm going to call your father, and then –"

"No! Wait!" Ronaldo waved his hands out in front of him, lost his balance, and he and Peridot fell over. From the ground, he pushed himself up and continued talking, his words rushed. "Okay I'm Ronaldo but it's not what you think!"

"Then what is it?"

Laying on the ground, Peridot pulled the tarp over her face. She was dead, she was absolutely dead, the Crystal Gems would find her and she was _dead_ –

"We're in love!"

What.

Ronaldo managed to get to his feet, his face flushed. "We met and fell in love but, uh, Steven's guardians didn't like that at all, so they're trying to keep us apart! I don't know what they told you, but trust me, it's all a lie!"

Mayor Dewey looked very, very confused. "And you're trying to skip town because..."

"It's the only way to live our lives in freedom!"

Dewey stared at him for a moment, then lowered his megaphone. "You still can't just run off without telling your family," he said at a normal volume. "I'd be devastated if Buck went and left without telling me."

Ronaldo sighed. "You can tell my dad I'm okay," he said.

"Stay safe, Ronaldo."

After some hesitation, he turned the van around and drove off, leaving Ronaldo standing there with Peridot still lying on the ground.

"How did that work?" she said in disbelief.

"I have no idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am burning


	10. Peridot Hates the Complexity of Human Interaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shameless self-promotion time: do you like my writing? do you want to see more of my writing? I'm publishing a digital subscription soon, and it contains an original work of writing from me. the story is about two young girls who use magic to travel through the multiverse, going on all sorts of adventures. sort of like doctor who, but more fantasy than science fiction, and less time travel.
> 
> the idea of the subscription is to give people something to look forward to arriving in their email every week, so along with my writing, it also contains some cat pictures, ideas for activities to do, some other stuff, just things I thought might cheer people up. [you can sign up for the subscription for free here](https://gumroad.com/l/ovoe) (just enter 0 for the price you want to pay per month)
> 
> sorry for promoting myself like that, but I figured it was relevant to people who like my writing, so it wouldn't be Too Obnoxious.
> 
> anyway, chapter! I actually reached like 2400 words when writing the first draft, but ended up it short bc I couldn't find a place to finish the dang thing. so now instead of one long chapter, we have this, a short chapter, and the next chapter, which could be long or short. it is a mystery

The walk would take the entire rest of the day. It would be nighttime before they reached the Kindergarten. Peridot kept her shapeshifted disguise for the time being; it wouldn't do much, but it would at least confuse the Crystal Gems for a moment, especially since her bangs now covered her gem.

The more pressing matter was Ronaldo.

Surely, he had some ulterior motive for helping her. Whether or not that motive was based in fact was a mystery, but if he thought she was working to destroy the Earth and all life on it, why would he assist her? Did he _want_ the Earth to be destroyed? Peridot sincerely doubted it.

As Earth's sun slowly sank below the horizon, it occurred to Peridot that she could kill him.

They were all alone in the wilderness. She could hide the body easily. Peridot didn't know his motives, she didn't know if he would turn against her or not, it was the safest thing to do. Besides, once she reported Ronaldo and his inaccurate but unsettling knowledge of their plans, her orders would most likely be to dispose of him and continue her mission. If he was going to die one way or another, why bother putting it off?

Ronaldo followed her a few steps behind as they made their way through a field. Peridot had folded up the tarp to carry with her, having grown tired of dragging it behind her. She could strangle him with it. Or she could shapeshift her arm into a weapon and kill him that way. She would travel faster without having to stop for him to rest every hour.

And yet, before she could even begin to make a move, something stopped her. He could still be useful, she told herself. She would report him to her superiors and wait for their orders. Yes, that was the intelligent, rational decision.

No. _No._ All humans, along with the rest of Earth's organic life, were going to die. Her superiors wouldn't care if she killed this one a little early. The only thing stopping her was her own, irrational feelings.

Realization hit her hard. Ronaldo, for whatever reason, was helping her, and because of that, despite that it was most likely a trick to get her to lower her guard, she didn't want to kill him.

Ronaldo hummed a tune to himself as they walked, oblivious to Peridot's inner turmoil, and he nearly bumped into her when she stopped walking. "Whoa! Peridot, are you okay?"

"Why are you asking me that?" she said softly.

"What?"

Peridot whirled around, her teeth bared in anger. "Why do you _care?!_ " she shouted. "Do I need to spell it out for you? If I report to Homeworld, _you will die._ The Crystal Gems will die. Steven will die! And if the Kindergarten is reactivated, so will all your human friends and family! _Why?_ Why are you helping me? Why can't you make this _easy_ for me?!"

For a long moment, there was silence. Ronaldo took a step back. "Uh," he said, "what if you, uh, _don't_ contact Homeworld?"

"Then _I_ die! And so do you and everyone else, eventually, because they'll just find someone else to do my job!" Peridot stomped her foot, leaving an imprint in the ground. "Why shouldn't I just kill you now?!"

"Wow, what? Uh, because, uh –"

"It's what I'm going to be ordered to do anyway! Why should I bother waiting?! Human lives are short as it is already, nobody at Homeworld will care if I make one _shorter._ " She shook her head and looked down at the ground. "I'm a _failure_. I'm a failure and a traitor, and it's all because I don't want to kill one, short-lived, insignificant human."

" _Insignificant?_ "

Of all the things she said, that was what he got upset about? "Yeah," she snapped. "An insignificant human who's going to live and die without ever accomplishing anything important, who –"

Ronaldo's punch hit her square in the jaw.

Peridot fell over more from the shock than anything else; her physical projection was sturdy enough to handle a punch, and Ronaldo wasn't very strong. But it still _hurt_. Peridot lay on the ground, holding her aching jaw, before looking up at Ronaldo.

The human had a rage in his eyes that Peridot had never seen before. "I know the _truth!_ " he shouted. "I can handle the secrets that _no one else can!_ Oh, sure, I try to tell people, try to tell them that they're being manipulated by the polymorphic sentient rock government –"

"The what?"

"– and do you know what they think?! They won't say it to my face, but I know what they think! They think I'm a _joke!_

There were tears forming in Ronaldo's eyes now. He took off his glasses and wiped his face on his sleeve before continuing. "They can't handle the truth," he said, his voice trembling. "It's for the best that they don't believe me. But what am I supposed to do? I thought I could follow you, infiltrate the Great Diamond Authority's base and stop all your plans, but..."

He shook his head. "Nobody will believe me," he said bitterly. "Just Peedee, and maybe not even him. They'll just think I'm a joke forever. Maybe I really am insignificant."

Peridot stared at him for a long moment, then slumped back on the ground, staring up at the darkening sky. She could make out a few stars here and there, as the last of the sunlight faded away. Which one was Homeworld's sun, she wondered.

Ronaldo put his glasses back on and crossed his arms. "Well?"

"You're all going to die," Peridot said.

"Is that a _threat?_ I still have more potatoes! I mean, I dunno if they'll work on sentient rocks, but –"

"It's not a threat." Peridot sat up. "It's a statement of fact. If I fail in my mission, they'll send someone else to take my place. For all I know, they've given up on me and sent someone else already. If that's the case, they could arrive at any moment."

She sighed. "I'm turning myself in."

"You're... what? Turning yourself in to who?" Ronaldo's anger seemed to have faded, and he sounded more confused than anything.

"The Crystal Gems." Peridot stood up and abandoned her disguise, returning her physical projection to its usual form. "If I give myself up, they _probably_ won't kill me. And if I tell my superiors I was their prisoner, I _probably_ won't be disposed of once someone else arrives to finish my job."

At least, if she was a prisoner, someone else would be making the decisions for her.

It was dark at this point. Peridot took out her screen to illuminate the area around her. In the dim light, she saw Ronaldo frown.

"Do we really have to walk all the way back?" he said.

"I'm still going to Kindergarten. They'll be waiting for me there. You don't have to come."

Without waiting for him to respond, Peridot started walking. After a moment's hesitation, she heard Ronaldo's footsteps behind her.

After a while of awkward silence, Ronaldo said, "Thanks."

"What?"

"Thanks. For, uh, not killing me." A pause. "And sorry about punching you."

Peridot snorted and said nothing.

* * *

There was nobody at Kindergarten.

The two of them wandered around the area for a long time, Ronaldo gawking at the abandoned gem site and asking all sorts of questions. Peridot either answered them with one word responses – "What are all those holes for?" "Gems." "Were you going to hollow out the earth with those drills?" "No." – or told him to shut up. He never listened. Peridot was at least thankful that he didn't seem to want to punch her again.

Finally, she stopped. "I can't believe this," she said, and then cupped her hands to her mouth.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Crystal Gems! I'm here! I give up! You win! I don't care anymore!"

Her words echoed through the valley, but nobody answered. Peridot groaned and continued walking again.

Ronaldo tugged on her arm. "Hey, what's –"

She yanked her arm away. "Do _not_ touch me."

"Whoa, okay, sorry! I was just wondering what that hole was."

Peridot turned her gaze to where he pointed. It took her a while to recognize the location, it was so dark. "It leads to the Kindergarten control room," she said. "We don't need to go there."

"What? Why not?"

Peridot rolled her eyes. "Well," she said, "I was going there to restore the power source and reestablish the link with Homeworld, but unless you _want_ me to report back to my superiors –"

"Okay! Point taken!" He frowned. "So what do we do now?"

"I assumed the Crystal gems would be waiting for us here. If they're not, we'll use the warp pad here."

She gestured at the nearby warp. Ronaldo's eyes lit up.

"Warp pad? You mean we're gonna warp somewhere?" He grinned. "Seriously? We can do that?"

"It's just a warp pad. The technology's been around for thousands of years."

"Still!" Ronaldo walked up to it, examining it closely. "So, can we warp anywhere in the universe, or...?"

"Only to other warp pads, and only if they're on Earth. This is a domestic warp." Peridot stepped onto the hard surface, Ronaldo following close behind. "There's one in the Crystal Gem's base, so we'll just go right to them."

"You mean in Steven's house?"

"Yes. Whatever." Peridot frowned. "I'm warping us now."

The first thing Ronaldo tried to do was stick his head outside the warp stream. Peridot had to drag him back. "Stop moving around," she snapped. "You'll get yourself killed."

She could shove him outside the warp stream. Nobody but a gem could find his body there.

But she didn't.

Peridot closed her eyes and braced herself for their arrival, but the only thing that happened was Ronaldo falling off the warp pad with a _thud_. Peridot opened her eyes to see an empty house.

"Seriously?" she said. "They can't have all just disappeared!"

"Maybe they're outside?" Ronaldo suggested, picking himself off the floor. "I think I hear something going on out there."

"What –"

She was interrupted by a crashing wave and a shout.

"Steven!" That was Garnet's voice, and it was definitely coming from outside. "Watch out!"

"Lapis!" Steven cried – Peridot rushed to the window. "I don't want to fight you! Lapis, please –"

On the beach below the temple, the Crystal Gems stood with their weapons out. Facing them was an enormous gem, her lower body submerged in the sea, crouched low to the ground and snarling. Streams of water snaked into the air from the sea all around her, and as Peridot watched in horror, the gem spoke.

"Not Lapis," she roared. "I am MALACHITE."


	11. Peridot Hates Malachite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok. im really sorry. I've been in a horrible creative slump and it's making everything late. I'm already over a week late with the subscription I advertised last chapter... I managed to finish this, though, but I have no guarantee I'll be able to get the next chapter out in the next week.

They had been battling Malachite for an hour, almost. Steven had tried over and over to appeal to Lapis, but she couldn't be reached within the fusion. He could see that the gems were tiring – Garnet especially, she was blocking most of the waves that Malachite sent crashing down on them – and he _knew_ Lapis was still in there somewhere.

Over and over, the fusion pronounced her name.

"Malachite. I am MALACHITE." She leaned forward, her front hands gripping the sand, and another wave began forming behind her. "I am – I AM –"

"Lapis! Lapis, please remember me!" Steven looked to Garnet in despair. "Why is this happening?"

Garnet gritted her teeth. "Lapis shouldn't have forced them to stay together for this long," she said. "If two gems in a fusion can't work together..."

"But I've never seen a situation this bad before!" Pearl fired a few beams of light from her spear, but Malachite summoned a wall of water to block them. "We have to force them apart!"

"Yeah, but how?" Amethyst rolled out of the way of a wave, clutching her whip tight. "Garnet was barely able to beat Jasper last time, and _none_ of us could beat Lapis!"

"We have to get her away from the water!" Garnet shouted.

"But the only place to go is Beach City!" Pearl shouted back. "We can't let her go there!"

Steven ran forward. "Lapis! Lapis, you've gotta unfuse!"

"I am NOT LAPIS." Malachite snarled, baring her teeth. "I am NOT – I am NOT – I am MALACHITE."

When they had first fused, Lapis and Jasper's voices had been separate. Now, Malachite's voice sounded like a mix of the two – but right now, Steven thought it sounded more Lapis than Jasper. Or was he imagining it?

"Steven! Get back!"

"Please, Lapis! You've gotta remember! We're beach summer fun buddies, right?"

For a moment, she paused.

The next moment happened too fast for Steven to react. Malachite reached out and grabbed him in one swift motion, raising him up in the air.

"STEVEN!" Garnet rushed forward, but a wave blocked her path. "Put him _down!_ "

Three towers of water rose from the ocean, twisting themselves into hands. One by one, they reached down and grabbed each one of the Crystal Gems and lifting them up in the air. Pearl yelped and kicked, but it was useless – the hand held her tight. Garnet punched the hand that reached for her, deforming the water, but it merely reformed and grabbed her the same as Pearl and Amethyst.

"I am NOT LAPIS." Malachite held Steven close to her face. "I AM I. I AM MALACHITE. REMEMBER THIS –"

"Jasper!"

All heads turned towards the beach house.

"Peridot!" Steven exclaimed.

Peridot stood at the bottom of the stairs, her mouth set in a hard line. She was shivering in fear, but even so, she took a step towards Malachite. "Jasper," she said. "Our mission was a failure. We lost!"

Malachite snarled, but said nothing.

"What is she trying?" Pearl said in alarm. "And where's Ronaldo?"

The latter question, at least, was answered shortly after it was uttered, when Ronaldo cautiously peeked out of the door of the beach house. Upon seeing everyone staring at him, he quickly ducked back inside, though he was still visible through the screen.

Peridot took another step forward. "There's no point in continuing our mission," she said, her voice shaking. "The best we can do is report back to Homeworld and – and let them decide what to do with us!"

"NO."

Malachite dropped Steven, who landed in the sand with a yelp of surprise. Picking himself off the sand, he stood up and backed away, watching Malachite slowly climb out of the water. Once her lower body had emerged, it could be seen that there were still chains around her legs – but they didn't hold her back, only stretched farther as she closed in on Peridot.

Peridot took a step back as Malachite loomed over her. "No?" she squeaked. "But _Jasper_ –"

"I AM MALACHITE."

Malachite leaned down very close to Peridot's face. "I am never going back," she said. "NEVER. I can NEVER let her go back. I will – we will –"

Her face twisted into a grimace and she gripped the sides of her head to keep herself together – literally, as her face warped and her two pairs of eyes split into separate directions. For a moment, it looked as if she would split apart entirely, but then the moment passed and her face solidified.

Hesitantly, Peridot spoke again. "Jasper –"

Malachite slammed her fist in the sand, right besides Peridot. "SHUT UP!" she shouted. "Why are you working with them? Don't you have any loyalty for Homeworld?"

Malachite sounded an awful lot like Jasper now. "I'm not –" Peridot started, but Malachite continued, her voice fluctuating between Jasper and Lapis as she spoke.

"She can't be helping them! She's trying to hurt Steven. She's just as bad as everyone else. She's trying to betray Homeworld. She's just as bad as the Crystal Gems. She's gone defective too. We need to – I need to –"

More hands wormed their way out of the water, reaching for Malachite.

"I will never be a prisoner again. I will always be a prisoner. I can never let her go. I can't let her hurt Steven. I have to keep her here, have to –"

Horror washed over Peridot's face and she turned to run.

Malachite snapped out of her dialogue. "YOU –"

A wall of water crashed down in front of Peridot and she stumbled back, eyes frantically searching for a way out.

"– ARE COMING –"

Streams of water wrapped around Peridot and formed themselves into chains, pinning her arms to her side.

"– WITH ME!"

More chains wrapped around Malachite's body, and she was roughly pulled back towards the water – along with Peridot, who twisted in her binds and screamed – " _No! Please, no! I don't want to – I don't want to go there!_ "

"Lapis, don't!" Steven shouted, running towards her – but he was too far away, and even though Peridot was digging her feet into the sand, she was almost at the water already.

Ronaldo burst through the door of the house. "Peridot!"

Malachite twisted against the chains and snarled. "STAY WITH ME."

With that, she was pulled back below the surface. Peridot let out one last wordless scream before she joined her.

* * *

They questioned Ronaldo thoroughly once they were back inside, but he dodged around the answers. "She was going to give herself up again," he said. "So why does it matter what she was going to do before that?"

"Why are _you_ defending her?" Amethyst demanded.

Ronaldo looked down. "I don't really know. She thought about killing me but didn't, and then she was upset that she couldn't. I kind of punched her in the face. It's complicated, okay? Can I go now?"

They let him go. Steven sat on the couch, looking at his feet. In the kitchen, Garnet and Pearl discussed what to do, with Amethyst sitting on the counter a little ways away.

"I'll continue searching for Malachite," Garnet said. "We still need to defuse them. The only thing that changes is that Peridot's with them."

"That's all we really can do, isn't it?" Pearl said sadly. "Still... how did Malachite manage to stay together like _that_? She was still Lapis and Jasper shortly after they first fused. How have they deteriorated that much?"

Garnet shrugged, an oddly casual gesture considering the graveness of the situation. "We don't have a lot of information about fusions," she said. "The only other fusion who's stayed together for that long is myself, and there are a lot of differences between Garnet and Malachite."

"Duh," said Amethyst. Neither Garnet nor Pearl responded, and she quickly lost interest in sitting there and jumped off the counter to join Steven on the couch.

"Hey," she said. "How're you holding up?"

Steven shook his head. "I dunno," he said. "I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Yeah, good idea. It's getting late for you." When did she sound so much like Pearl? Amethyst shook her head to clear it and tried to think of something to say that would get him out of this mood. It was hard; she had never liked Peridot in the first place, had never been willing to give her the chance that Steven was.

In the end, she didn't say anything, and Steven got up and climbed the stairs to his room without even saying "goodnight".

* * *

The next day was a school day, and Steven woke up too late to call Connie before she would have left. She had told him before that he could call her at three or later, so while he waited until then, Steven decided to go see Ronaldo.

Peedee waved at him as he approached the fry shop. "Hey, Steven!" he called out, a little hesitantly. "Have you seen Ronaldo?"

"Yeah, yesterday." Steven frowned. "Didn't he go back home last night?"

"No, he hasn't been here for two days now! Mayor Dewey told Dad he was all right, but... is he really?"

"Uh..." Ronaldo had been badly affected by what had happened with Malachite, but Steven was pretty sure he was okay. "Yeah, I think so."

"That's good." Peedee sighed and put his head down on the counter. "This isn't the first time he's done this," he mumbled.

"What?"

"When I was really little, he ran away for three days. Wanted to go on some anime journey or whatever. He ended up okay, though. He'll probably end up okay again." Peedee looked up. "Sorry about what happened earlier. I didn't think he'd try to knock you out. _Again._ "

Steven laughed nervously. "It's alright, I'm pretty sure I don't have any brain damage."

For some reason, this did nothing to cheer Peedee up, and he put his head down on the counter again. "Is the green person he was with okay?" he asked.

Steven's face fell, and he struggled to come up with words. "She's... she's... she's in a... bad place, but... she'll be okay. Eventually."

"That's good. You want some fry bits?"

"No thanks, Peedee, I'm not in the mood."

After a long silence, they exchanged goodbyes and Steven wandered around the boardwalk before heading back to his house. Something about Ronaldo not going home after last night didn't feel right, but if Peedee wasn't bothered by it, then Steven wouldn't let it bother him, either.

Besides, it wasn't like Ronaldo could get into any more trouble, right?

* * *

Onyx received the report like every other, coming in with the endless stream of information that she had to deal with as part of her job. Still, it gave her pause as she read the subject matter.

RECEIVED SIGNAL FROM EARTH

FULL REPORT ENCLOSED

AWAITING INSTRUCTIONS

Odd, for certain. They hadn't received a signal back from Earth since Jasper and the Peridot had been sent there, yet if they had sent a report back, it would have come from them directly.

But she had a job to do and no time to waste pondering every report she received. Onyx forwarded the message to the appropriate personnel and dismissed it from her mind.


	12. Peridot Hates Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, to start this off, here's something I want to address that I've been meaning to for a while now: it is 100% OK to use ideas from this fic in your own steven universe fic! in fact, I encourage it! just give me the link to your fic so I can read it, that's all.
> 
> next off, we have returned to thursday updates! this means that the quality of my chapters should increase as I get back into my regular schedule, after numerous Real Life Disruptions. this is super awesome.
> 
> alright, that's it. hope you enjoy the chapter, and my apologies to peridot

Ronaldo returned that night. He evaded all questions about where he had been, returned to his home, and slept for twelve hours.

When he woke up, he immediately went on his computer to try and find more clues, scouring messageboards and news articles and the wikis he contributed to, even contacted his fellow weird enthusiasts, but it just didn't add up like it had before. He skipped shifts at the fry shop to explore Beach City, looking for a sign. The polymorphic sentient rocks had to have left some signal, some message for him, but Ronaldo found nothing.

The Great Diamond Authority was coming to Earth. They were going to hollow out the earth for ease of transportation to their home planet, and everyone would die. This was the _truth_.

And no one would believe him.

"Hey Dad," he said casually one day. "Do you think we could get off planet? Like, within the next week?"

His dad just gave him an odd look. "Why would we need to go off planet?"

Because the world was doomed. Because the monster that had taken Peridot had to be at least level twelve, and Ronaldo was barely level three, and what was he thinking, that he could take down the entire Diamond Authority by himself? When he couldn't even save _one_ –

"No reason."

"Hey Peedee," he said, much later, when they were sitting out back of the fry shop. "You know about the polymorphic sentient rocks, right?"

Peedee looked up at him. "Yeah? Is there... have you figured something out about them?"

That they were going to end all life on Earth. That they didn't care about anyone here, they called him insignificant, said he wouldn't accomplish anything important, told him to stay inside while they ran out to the beach –

"Never mind, it's nothing."

He almost told Steven what he had done. He made it all the way to the beach, but what could he say? "Hey, I tried to contact the aliens who are going to hollow out the Earth just to try and save one of them who wanted to kill me but didn't, and that's a pretty low standard to hold her to, to just consider her good because she didn't kill me –"

At night, Ronaldo could still hear Peridot's screams as she was dragged into the water.

He turned around and went back to the fry shop.

Weeks went by. Ronaldo spent more time by the ocean, searching for a sign, for something, _anything_  – and still, he found nothing.

Maybe nothing would happen. Maybe the Earth was safe, and nobody was going to come to rescue Peridot, she would just have to stay on the ocean floor forever.

A month passed.

* * *

"Steven!" Pearl called out from the kitchen. "Your phone is ringing!"

"What?" Steven jumped out of bed. "Who is it?" he called out as he ran downstairs.

"It's that unknown number again." Pearl frowned at the phone as it buzzed on the counter, playing it's ringtone. "I asked Greg about it. He said you should ask to be put on the do-not-call list."

"I tried that! It didn't work. Besides, whoever it is never says anything." Steven picked up the phone and swiped to answer it. "Hello? Anyone?"

"That's kind of creepy, dude," Amethyst said, lying on her back on the couch. "Haven't they been calling for over a month now?"

"At night, too!" Pearl said. "Don't they have any concept of time? Steven, don't answer any more of their calls."

Steven sighed and hung up. "Okay."

There was a splash from outside and Steven nearly dropped his phone in his rush to get to the door. "Garnet's back, Garnet's back! Hey, Garnet, did you find them?"

Pearl looked out the window to confirm that it was indeed Garnet who had just come out of the ocean, and that she was alone. Steven ran down to the beach to greet her with a hug, and though Pearl couldn't hear their exchange from the beach house, she doubted there was any news.

"They've gotta be down there somewhere," Amethyst remarked.

"Well, obviously," Pearl said. "But to search the entire ocean..."

She trailed off. Steven was coming back in now, and judging by the look on his face, Pearl had been right: Garnet had not found Malachite or Peridot.

"I'll go back out tomorrow," Garnet said when she came in.

Steven slumped down onto the couch with Amethyst. "Okay..."

"Garnet, are you sure you're not overworking yourself?" Pearl asked. "You've been going down there every day!"

Garnet shrugged. "I can handle it."

Pearl opened her mouth to argue, but Garnet ignored her, walking right past her to the door to the temple. Pearl just looked at her and sighed as she entered her room. Well, if Garnet said so, she would be all right.

Steven didn't share this same conviction. "Pearl? Is Garnet really overworking herself?"

"Don't worry about it!" Amethyst said, sitting up. "Garnet's tough, and she said she can handle it."

The last thing Steven needed was another thing to worry about. "Yes," Pearl agreed. "I'm concerned, but I'm not... overly concerned. Everything's going to be just fine."

"Cheer up, little man!" Amethyst ruffled Steven's hair. "Isn't Connie coming over today? That should make you feel better!"

"Yeah..." Steven sighed. "Yeah, I guess –"

_BOOM._

The whole room shook with the sound. Garnet was out of the temple before the shaking had stopped, stopping just past the warp pad. Pearl looked at her in alarm. "Garnet, what was that?"

"A ship," was all she said.

"You mean like..." Steven's eyes widened and he sat up. "A spaceship?"

"You mean _Homeworld?_ " Amethyst exclaimed.

Garnet pressed her hands to the side of her head briefly, then said, "They're landing near the Galaxy Warp. We can't confront them. We can't even go near them. Every possible future where we do ends in failure."

Pearl opened her mouth to say something, and Garnet quickly added, "They're not here for us."

"Jasper and Peridot," Pearl said, her voice shaking. "They've come for them."

* * *

Peridot was unceremoniously dropped onto a hard, flat surface, gasping and choking and expelling the seawater that had inundated her body. She was alive. She was alive. She was –

The last thing Peridot remembered was being dragged into the water.

Everything after that was unclear. She knew that a significant amount of time had passed, but the details slipped out of her mind every time she tried to grasp them. From context, she assumed she had been taken by Malachite to the bottom of the ocean, but why couldn't she remember anything beyond that?

"Get up," an unfamiliar voice commanded. "Report."

Her vision was blurry and everything was too bright. She struggled to her feet, staggered, squinted in the light of the sun. She could barely make out the shape of the gem in front of her; tall, with dark purple skin and black clothes. There was a white diamond on her chest. Peridot wasn't even going to try and comprehend the meaning of that.

She opened her mouth to speak, and was punched in the side of the head.

" _TRAITOR!_ "

That was Jasper, Peridot thought dimly as she was knocked to the ground. She got up as quickly as she could, swaying back and forth, and blinked, turning to where Jasper was being held back by two other gems.

"She's a _traitor!_ " Jasper roared. "I saw her! She was trying to _stop_ us!"

"Jasper," said the strange, tall gem. "You are recovering from a botched fusion. Do not make things worse for yourself."

" _Kill_ her! Smash her gem! She's turned on us, just like the Pearls!"

Peridot filled with dread, drowned in it, started gasping for breath. She was going to die. If Homeworld thought she had turned traitor, then she would die. She had to do something, had to convince them she was on their side.

"St – st – status rep – report," she stammered. "The mission was – the mission was –"

"A failure," the strange gem said coldly. Jasper gritted her teeth.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. Peridot nodded. "Y – yes! We failed! I – I – I –"

She didn't understand half of what she said, the words spilling out of her mouth like water as she spoke frantically. "The Crystal Gems escaped from their cells, took control of the ship. I escaped. I was injured in the crash. They found me when I had retreated to my gem, and they – they took me prisoner! I tried to escape, but they caught me every time! They were going to – to – to kill me, to trap me in my gem so I couldn't regenerate! I couldn't – I couldn't – I wanted to _survive!_ I –"

"Enough," the gem said. Peridot shut up immediately. "How were you injured?"

"My – my gem was damaged in the crash. There was – a machine – I don't remember –"

Raising a hand to stop her, the gem turned to yet another gem – how many had been brought here? – and said simply, "She says she doesn't remember. You're a Peridot. Explain this."

It took Peridot a moment to realize she wasn't speaking to her.

"Early Peridot models were incapable of handling extreme stress or trauma," the other Peridot said – Peridot recognized her, she was the same Peridot she had been sent to before her trip, the one who called herself Dottie. "Because their design was rushed, instead of implementing a method for them to cope, a memory block was designed. This rendered the memories of trauma inaccessible to them and allowed them to continue functioning."

"Can the memory block be removed?"

Dottie paused. "Yes," she said carefully. "But it's unwise. This Peridot may not be able to function with the additional stress. Obsidian, I cannot –"

The tall gem – Obsidian – turned away from Peridot. Peridot couldn't see her expression, but she saw Dottie flinch. "I can do it," she said quickly. "But I cannot recommend it, if you want this Peridot to still be functional."

"Do you have to remove the entire block?" Obsidian said.

"No. I can restore access to memories formed during a certain timeframe, such as from when she arrived on Earth to the present."

"Do that. Now."

Dottie nodded, and took out a gem destabilizer. Peridot paled. "What – what are you –"

"Procedure. I can only remove the memory blocks when you've retreated to your gem. Hold still."

She stabbed the destabilizer into Peridot's side, and her world filled with pain.


	13. Peridot Hates the Fear of Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what?? an early chapter? ok hear me out I have a reason for this
> 
> so basically, I was wondering if I could update every day of the stevenbomb for Double Steven Universe Extravaganza. after some consideration and a lot of writing, I deduced that I probably could, and it would be awesome.
> 
> then I realized "wait. wait. the stevenbomb starts on june 15. if I update twice this week, I can post chapter 15 on june 15, chapter 16 on june 16, and so on until I post chapter 19 on june 19th."
> 
> so that's what im doing. hooray! we're nearing the end of the story, aka the parts of the story I've been waiting to write for ages, and so the writing's going pretty quick. I couldn't have gotten this far without everyone who commented and left kudos (1000 kudos??? incredible) so thank you all!
> 
> also, upped the rating.
> 
> edit: I accidentally named this chapter the same as the last one Whoops ok it's ficed now

After they heard the ship enter the atmosphere, the gems went to the kitchen to talk in hushed voices. Steven was left out of the conversation, and he ended sitting on the couch reading a book, trying his best not to listen in.

When he heard footsteps coming up the stairs to the house, he quickly hopped off the couch and ran to the door. "Connie's here! I'll get it!"

The person at the door was not Connie.

"Hi," said Lapis Lazuli.

* * *

At first, Lapis didn't want to go inside the beach house. "Not with _them_ here," she said bitterly, tilting her head towards Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. It took a lot of encouragement from Steven to get her to come inside and sit down on the couch so they could ask her questions.

"What happened?" Steven asked, sitting on the couch next to her.

"Homeworld found us," Lapis said. "They were going to use a destabilizer on Malachite, so I unfused and escaped. I saw them take Jasper and Peridot, but I didn't bother sticking around after that."

Steven's face fell. "So you don't know what happened to Peridot?"

Lapis scrunched up her face in thinly concealed disgust. "Why do you care about her?" she asked. "She tried to kill you. She held me prisoner. Why should anyone care what happens to her?"

"We were friends!"

"Not really," said Amethyst. "I mean, I know you tried, Steven, but..."

"Amethyst!" Pearl said sharply, but Garnet put a hand on her shoulder.

"Amethyst is right," she said. "Steven, I know you cared for her, but Peridot is a Homeworld gem. She was always a Homeworld gem. She was never going to be on our side."

Steven looked up at her in dismay. "But you said we could give her a chance! Did you really think that it would never work?"

Garnet hesitated before speaking again. "No. I thought it might, for a while. But I was wrong. We can all be wrong, sometimes."

"What happened with Peridot?" Lapis asked.

"We... held her here, for a while," Pearl said carefully. "Steven thought he could turn her to our side."

Lapis turned to look at Steven with a neutral expression. "Did it work?"

Amethyst snorted. "No."

"But she came back," Steven said. "She and Ronaldo came back! And Ronaldo said she was going to give herself up! So... maybe it did work!"

"It doesn't matter now," Garnet said. "She won't come back this time."

"How do you know?" he demanded.

Garnet walked around the table and sat down next to Steven. On his other side, Lapis shifted her weight, leaning away from her.

"Because Peridot is very, very scared," Garnet said. "She's afraid of being killed. If Homeworld thinks she turned to our side, then they'll try to kill her. She knows this. So she'll follow their orders."

"Garnet," said Pearl, "are you sure he's ready to hear this?"

"Ready or not, he has to know. Peridot isn't going to come back."

There was a gentle knock. Everyone turned towards the door to see Connie standing on the other side of the screen, looking nervously at the scene inside.

"Sorry," she said. "Is this a bad time?"

"Uhh..." Steven looked up at Garnet, who frowned. "Probably?"

"Oh." Connie looked down at her feet. "Should I go?"

"Yes," Garnet said, and she patted Steven's shoulder. "Steven, you go with her."

"What!" Steven shook his head. "No way! I want to –"

"If Steven goes, I go too." Lapis said.

Lapis had her fists clenched and her mouth set in a hard line. "You kept me in that mirror for thousands of years," she said. "I am not going to sit here and let you interrogate me _alone_. If you're sending Steven away, I'm going with him."

"Oh, come on!" Amethyst exclaimed. "No one's going to put you in a mirror again, so –"

"Amethyst," Garnet said. Amethyst stopped talking and elected to glare at Lapis instead. Steven sank deeper into the couch cushions and didn't say anything.

Garnet directed her next words at Lapis. "Have you told us everything?" she said.

Lapis shrugged. "More or less."

"Then go."

She nodded and stood up. "Fine. Goodbye."

Steven jumped out of his seat. "Lapis! Wait!"

Connie quickly moved out of the way as Lapis pushed the door open and headed down the stairs, Steven following close behind. After a moments hesitation, Connie followed the two of them, taking two steps at a time to catch up.

Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl were left with an awkward silence.

"Garnet," Pearl said. "Why did you... do that?"

"She'll stay with Steven," Garnet said.

"But – are we really done questioning her?" Pearl clasped her hands together. "We still don't know why Malachite attacked us, or how she let the fusion get to that state in the first place! Why are you letting her go?"

"Because we know enough." Garnet stood up and walked to the window, watching Steven, Connie, and Lapis go down to the beach. "So far, no gems have managed to send a report back to Homeworld. Homeworld doesn't know if we're a threat or not. We have to make sure it stays that way."

"So what do we do?" Amethyst said. "You already said that we can't fight them!"

"Not without a plan, we can't." Garnet turned back to them, her fists clenched. "We need to prepare to fight them. We can't let a single Homeworld gem leave Earth. That way, we can buy some time before Yellow Diamond sends an army."

* * *

Peridot regenerated inside a prison cell.

She didn't figure it out at first; she landed shakily on her feet and collapsed against the first available wall, which turned out to be a destabilization field. The shock she received nearly sent her back into her gem, and she jerked herself away to the opposing wall of the cell, breathing hard.

She remembered now, the immense pressure that pinned her to the ocean floor, the chains that cut into her sides, the saltwater burning her lungs. Gems didn't need to breathe, but they still had lungs for vocalization, lungs that were designed for air, not _this_. Every time she tried to move, she heard Malachite snarl and the chains tightened, squeezing any thoughts of escape out of her.

She _also_ remembered sitting in her escape pod and trying to decide her next course of action when metal claws tore through the walls, ripping the pod apart. Peridot remembered being badly injured, struggling to prevent herself from retreating into her gem as she tried to get away, knowing that her only hope was to get far enough that the machine could no longer sense her energy signature. She remembered screaming for help until she felt claws pierce the back of her head.

Peridot shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. The memories were so strong, it felt like she was reliving them all over again. She closed her eyes, taking in the sensation of being _here_ , of sitting against the hard wall, taking deep breaths of air. There was no machine here, no Malachite. She was out of the water, she was free from the Crystal Gems, she was finally going back to Homeworld, where she would be _safe_.

So why was she so afraid of going back?

When she opened her eyes, she half expected to be back in the room in the temple, with Steven and Connie's drawings covering the walls, the pile of books and board games against the wall, and the wreckage of Citchen Calamity shoved back in a corner. Instead, she saw the yellow glow of the destabilization field and the green walls of the ship – another Emerald Hand, from the looks of things. Peridot pressed her hand against the wall and wondered what was going to happen to her.

At first, she was angry. It wasn't her fault the mission had failed! Jasper had been her superior, the only one of the two to have been a fighter, it was her fault for losing to Garnet! Surely, Homeworld had to understand – Peridot had been held prisoner, she had only done what was necessary to survive! What more could she have done?

She could have stood back and let Malachite kill the Crystal Gems and Steven. She could have killed Ronaldo and gone to the Kindergarten to report to Homeworld. Maybe she could have even succeeded in her original mission, had she done that. Instead, she was here, stuck in another prison, labeled by Homeworld as a failure and –

Jasper had called her a traitor.

Peridot's eyes widened with the realization. Jasper, despite the state she had been in when she was part of Malachite, remembered what she saw. She remembered Peridot trying to talk her out of the fight. If that was all it took to label her a traitor, if Homeworld believed Jasper over her –

– and she was in _prison_.

"No," Peridot whispered. "I don't want to _die_."

Silence, except for the quiet hum of the destabilization field. No other gems were around. Peridot was alone.

She raised a trembling hand and activated her screen.

* * *

"Are you going to leave, Lapis?"

Lapis hesitated before turning to Steven. "I don't know," she said. "I can't go back to Homeworld. But I don't want to stay here."

Steven looked down at his hands, rubbing his fingers together. "It's not _that_ bad here."

"I never cared about Earth," was all Lapis said.

There was a long silence. Connie looked from Steven to Lapis, the two of them averting their gazes. "What happened?" she finally asked. "Steven, you told me that Jasper and Lapis..."

"Homeworld gems found them," Steven said. "Peridot, too. Lapis got away. But Peridot..."

"Steven," Lapis said sharply. "Peridot is a Homeworld gem. She's probably happier now that she's back with them. Forget about her."

"I can't!" he cried. "It doesn't feel right. None of this feels right! If Peridot wanted to go back to Homeworld, why did she come back here? Why did she try to save me from Malachite? It doesn't make any –"

His phone rang, and he stopped abruptly and dug in his pocket for it. "Sorry, sorry, I've gotta take this."

He pulled it out to answer, then hesitated. Connie frowned. "What's the matter, Steven?"

"It's that unknown number again. Pearl said I shouldn't answer any more calls from them."

"Will something bad happen if you do?"

"No, it's just that nobody ever answers, and they call at really bad times mostly. Like at night and stuff."

"I think you should answer it," Lapis said.

"Huh?" Steven looked up at her. "Really? Why?"

She shrugged. "Because Pearl said you shouldn't and I don't like her."

"Whaaat?"

"Answer it, Steven!" Connie said loudly.

"Okay, okay!" Steven quickly swiped to answer and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Steven?"

He nearly dropped the phone in surprise. " _Peridot?_ "

* * *

"Steven," Peridot said quietly, expecting Obsidian or one of the gems that was with her to come walking down the hall any moment. "Yes, it's me."

" _You_ were the one calling me all those times?"

Her arms had been chained to her side when she was a prisoner of Malachite. Peridot remembered activating her screen and navigating it by memory until she had been able to reestablish the connection with Steven's phone. She remembered hearing his voice for the first time since she had been taken into the ocean, remembered the faintest hint of _joy_ she felt –

Jasper was right. She was a traitor.

"Steven," she said again, desperation creeping into her voice. "I'm going to die. They're going to kill me. I – I don't know where I am, I –"

"No, no! Garnet knows where the ship is, we can find you! Don't worry, Peridot, we'll rescue you!"

But Peridot was still talking, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't want to go back to Homeworld, they'll kill me there! I want to come back. I'll be your prisoner again, I want to come back, I want to come back –"

"It's okay! We'll –" Peridot heard movement on Steven's end. "– I'll tell Garnet n' Amethyst n' Pearl right now, we're gonna save you, okay?"

"I –" She didn't know what to say. "I –"

Off in the distance, footsteps echoed through the corridors of the ship. Peridot dropped the connection without saying goodbye.


	14. Peridot Hates Uncertainty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to be posted on thursday, but I ended up only finishing it tonight. why is this?
> 
> short answer: I am depressed and sometimes it kills my motivation to write.
> 
> long answer: I am depressed. like, really, horribly depressed. this makes it hard for me to do much of anything, including writing. I thought I was over this, I really did. I thought I was doing so much better than my last big fic. i guess I sort of am, I mean, I've stopped being self-deprecating in my chapter notes, and my panic attacks have mostly stopped? but immediately after finishing chapter 13, a chapter that was so fun and easy to write, my depression kicks down the door, sits itself all up in my headspace, and is like "nope you still suck lol" and suddenly chapter 14 is taking forever.
> 
> getting to the main point, I'm not sure I'll be able to post a chapter every day for the stevenbomb. I'll do my best, but I can't make any promises.

"You were crying," Obsidian said. It wasn't a question, so Peridot didn't have to answer her. Instead, she shrank back into the corner of the cell, staring at her with wide eyes.

Obsidian was a tall gem, about as tall as Jasper, but without the broad shoulders or thick mess of hair. Her hair was black and straight, falling down to her shoulders, and she was very thin. Her clothes were gray, with a white diamond on her chest, but what captured Peridot's gaze the most was her gem, jagged and uneven, set in her right eye socket. Obsidian must have noticed her staring, because she tilted her head away, fixing her in the gaze of her one eye.

"Do you remember now?" she asked.

Just thinking about what had happened when she crashed on Earth, her experience as a prisoner of Malachite, just the shadow of a memory made her shudder. Still, she nodded.

"Report."

It took Peridot a moment to process what she had said, and then she nodded frantically, standing up quickly and finding that she was steady on her feet. "Yes," she said. "What – how should I –"

"Start with your arrival on Earth," Obsidian said.

Peridot took a deep breath and began.

She recounted everything from her first encounter with the Crystal Gems on Earth to regenerating in the fountain, and after that, she was careful to leave parts out.

Nothing about Steven reading to her or the board games they played, nothing about how after the war machine's attack she had been willing to go back peacefully – nothing that could be interpreted as Peridot sympathizing with the Crystal Gems. She had been a prisoner, that was all Homeworld needed to know.

It was when she got to Ronaldo's attempt to rescue her that she stumbled. How could she explain that she had gone back willingly? That she had given up? She hesitated, and Obsidian frowned.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No!" Peridot said quickly. "No, I just – I – uh –"

Obsidian's frown deepened. "You are hiding something," she said. It wasn't a question.

Peridot shook her head and tried to stammer out a denial, but she stopped when she saw Obsidian's gem glow. With one fluid motion, she raised her hand to her gem, grabbed onto the handle that extruded out of it, and pulled. She brought the spiked mace down on the ground hard, with a loud _thud_ and a _crack_ as one of the spikes cut into the floor.

She couldn't attack her through the destabilization field, Peridot told herself, the one lucid thought through her fear. It was just an intimidation tactic. It was working.

"How much of what you told me was a lie?" Obsidian asked.

"None of it! I – I would never –"

"And how much did you _not_ tell me?"

Peridot opened her mouth and found that nothing would come out.

Obsidian leaned against the morning star weapon and affixed her with a glare. "Start over," she said.

* * *

Steven ran up the stairs to the beach house as fast as he could and burst through the door, still on his phone. "Hello? _Hello?_ "

"Oh, Steven," Pearl said. "That's not that strange number again, is it?"

It was Garnet who seemed to understand the urgency of the situation. "Steven," she said, stepping forward. "What's wrong?"

"The unknown number was Peridot! It was Peridot all along! She –"

"Wait," Amethyst hopped down from the stool she had been sitting on. "It was _Peridot?_ How did she get your number?"

"That doesn't matter!" Steven shouted. "She's in trouble! She said Homeworld's gonna kill her! We gotta save her!"

"Don't worry." Garnet kneeled down in front of him. "We will."

Steven wiped the tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Steven looked at Pearl and Amethyst, as if not believing Garnet's words. They exchanged glances, then Pearl nodded.

"We have to keep the other gems from going back to Homeworld," she said. "So it's not like it's... out of our way."

"This doesn't really change our plans," Amethyst added.

"Wait..." Steven looked at them all in confusion. "You're not going to argue? You're not going to say that it's a trap or something? That's what Lapis said."

Amethyst shrugged. "It doesn't really matter. We're just gonna –"

Pearl hastily covered her mouth before she could say anything more. Steven frowned.

"What are you gonna do to Peridot?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Pearl said. "Nothing at all, we're just..."

"We're going to bubble her," Garnet said.

"Wh – what?" Steven took a step back. "But – she doesn't want that! That's like, the whole reason she was so afraid of us! Why do we have to bubble her?"

"It's only temporarily." Garnet stood up. "Only until the Homeworld gems are gone."

When he hesitated, she continued. "This is non-negotiable, Steven. We'll let her out when it's safe for her."

"Okay... I guess that's okay..." He clenched his fists and looked back up at her. "But we've gotta go rescue her! We've gotta go _right now!_ "

* * *

Lapis and Connie were waiting for him outside when Steven came out with the rest of the Crystal Gems. "We're gonna rescue Peridot!" he said excitedly.

"Really?" said Connie. "I mean... it's dangerous, right?"

Steven nodded determinedly. "Yeah, but we've gotta do it. We can't let any of the Homeworld gems leave Earth, or else, uh..."

He trailed off when he saw Lapis staring at him, and stumbled over his next words. "W – well, it would be, uh, we can't let them."

"Garnet, are you sure we should let Steven come with us?" Pearl asked.

Lapis whipped her gaze around to Pearl. "Steven's going with you?"

"Well, uh –"

"Peridot is afraid of us, but she's not afraid of Steven," Garnet said. "Steven being there might help her to trust us."

Lapis raised an eyebrow. "What if she doesn't?"

"Then we'll adapt to the situation."

There was a long silence, with Lapis and Garnet staring at each other, until Lapis sighed. "I'm going with you," she said.

Steven's eyes widened. "Really?"

Lapis turned to him and smiled, the first time she had smiled since Steven had healed her gem – but this was a bitter smile, not like back then. "Homeworld isn't like it used to be," she said. "It's not my home anymore. I don't care about them. I care about you, Steven. You were the only person who was nice to me on this planet. If you want me to come with you, I will."

"Well..." Steven flushed and fiddled with his hands, averting his gaze. "Maybe, if you stayed, you'd find more nice people. Like Connie!"

Connie jumped, having been listening at the outskirts of the conversation. "Well, uh, yeah, I mean –"

She yelped in surprise when Lapis turned to look at her and fell silent.

"Maybe," Lapis said. "If I stay."

Steven smiled at her. Lapis looked away.

"Guys," Amethyst said, "I hate to change the subject, but where exactly are we going?"

"The ship is in the middle of the ocean, near the Galaxy Warp," Garnet said.

"I know where it is," Lapis said. "I can get you there."

"Good. We leave now."

* * *

It took Peridot a long time to finish talking. When she was finally done, Obsidian stared at her for a long moment. "That was quite a story," she said.

"A – a _story_?" Peridot stammered. Did Obsidian think she was lying? "But – it's true! It's all true!"

"Oh, I don't doubt that it's true." Obsidian looked away, staring down the hall. "You couldn't kill the human," she stated without looking at her.

"N – no, he –"

Obsidian raised a hand to stop her. "It makes sense," she said. "The human was useful to you. Once dead, the human would no longer be useful."

Was she defending her? Peridot didn't know what to think, and so she elected not to say anything.

"Similarly," she continued, "you will no longer be useful once your gem is shattered. Jasper has already outlived her usefulness, and so we will not lose anything with her. You, however, as you said, weren't a fighter. It was less your fault than it was hers. It may be that you can still be useful to us."

"What – what does that mean?"

"It means, Peridot, that we are giving you another chance." Obsidian frowned. "From what Jasper has told me, your failure was only partially due to your ineptitude. The other variable was the Crystal Gems. Without them, there will be nothing standing between you and the completion of your mission."

Peridot felt a horrible, dead feeling in her gut.

Obsidian dispelled her weapon. "You will assist us in eliminating the Crystal Gems," she said. "Once they are captured or otherwise taken care of, you will reactivate the Kindergarten. If you fail, you will be disposed of. This is your last chance, Peridot. Do you understand?"

The Crystal Gems would die. _Steven_ would die. And so would Connie, Ronaldo, the donut girl, and all of their human friends and family.

But Peridot would live.

"I understand," she said weakly.


	15. Peridot Hates Peridot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the followers of relatablepicturesofamethyst B)
> 
> anyway! this only took forever. sorry about that. I'll try to get the other chapters done faster than this.
> 
> uhh don't have much else to say here. enjoy chapter

Obsidian released Peridot from her prison and led her down the corridor. As they walked, Peridot kept looking for the glow of another destabilization field, a sign that someone else was being held prisoner here, but she didn't see one. Jasper must be held in another part of the ship.

They arrived at the control room, where two gems were. Peridot recognized Dottie, who stood next to the pilot's seat, and she vaguely remembered the other gem as being one of the two who had held Jasper back, though she didn't know her name. She was gold in color, with short dark-brown hair and a rectangular, metallic gem on her left shoulder. She crossed her arms and stared at them, while Obsidian turned around to Peridot.

"Plot a course for the Crystal Gems' base. I assume you know where it is."

It wasn't a question. "Yes," Peridot said.

"Good. Pyrite will be your supervising officer. She is equipped with your kill switch." Peridot shuddered – she had forgotten all about the kill switch. "If you disobey your orders, we will force you back into your gem, where you will stay until we arrive at Homeworld. Do you understand?"

Peridot tried to say "yes," but it came out in a garbled squeak. The gold gem, Pyrite, snickered under her breath. Obsidian's expression remained neutral. Peridot took a shuddering breath and repeated herself. "Yes."

"Good," Obsidian said. "I have other business to attend to. Dottie here will instruct you."

With that, she turned and left. Peridot stared at her until the door closed behind her, and she heard Dottie groan.

"'Dottie,'" she said in disgust. "I hate that name. Just because I'm the one who works with other Peridots. Why can't someone _else_ be Dottie for a change?"

Peridot didn't know what to say. Eventually, Dottie glared at her.

"You know how to pilot this," she snapped. "Do your job."

Peridot nodded hastily and made her way to the controls. As she passed her, Pyrite shifted her position slightly, and Peridot nearly jumped out of her skin.

Pyrite grinned broadly. "Hey," she said. "Are all Peridots like this?"

"No," said Dottie. "Most Peridots are _competent._ "

As she sat down in the pilot's seat, Peridot couldn't shake the dread that she was going to die. No matter what she did, no matter how well she followed orders, they would kill her when they got back to Homeworld.

What was she supposed to do? She used to think that when she got back to Homeworld, everything would be back to normal. She would follow her orders and never have to think about Earth again. But that would be impossible, not with thoughts of Steven and Connie and Ronaldo stuck in her mind like flawed programming, caught in an endless loop.

Her hands were shaking, hovering above the controls. Peridot took a deep breath and submerged them.

Information flooded her mind, shutting out all other thoughts. The ship calmed her, filled her with purpose. All systems operational. Follow her orders. The ship was a machine, doing only as it was told. Peridot would be the same.

She knew the location of every gem on the ship. Pyrite and two Peridots in the control room. Turquoise, Obsidian, and Jasper on the main deck. Obsidian had implied they would be disposing of Jasper. Was that what they were doing there? It wasn't relevant. Peridot had a mission, and she was going to do it.

Everything was going well. Peridot inputted the coordinates of the Crystal Gems' temple and set a course. The ship's sensors turned on and informed her of four energy signatures approaching from the west.

The sensors. The sensors that tracked the energy signatures of gems. A more sophisticated version of the ones on the machines they used in the war, like the machine that had tracked her to her escape pod and stabbed her mercilessly, over and over and OVER and OVER –

Her connection with the ship was broken when Pyrite wrenched her hands out of the controls and Peridot fell sideways out of the chair, sliding a few feet on the tilted floor. Dottie quickly moved in front of the controls and plunged her hands into them.

"I _said_ removing the memory blocks was a bad idea," she grumbled as the ship righted itself. "Peridots were never built with the ability to cope with trauma. She can't pilot the ship like this."

"How far did she get?" Pyrite asked.

"Far enough to plot a course. It seems accurate." Dottie frowned, then her eyes widened. "There are gems approaching, Pyrite!"

"What?" Pyrite nearly tripped over Peridot, still lying on the floor, in her rush to stand by the controls. "How many? Can the ship identify their signatures?"

"Four! One has been identified as the Lapis Lazuli gem. The only other readable signature is one of a Pearl. All other signatures are unidentifiable. No visuals yet, but they are approaching rapidly."

"The only other gems on this planet are the Crystal Gems," Pyrite said. "But why would they..."

Her eyes fell on Peridot.

Peridot yelped as Pyrite grabbed her arm and lifted her off the ground. "Tell us everything you know about these gems," she ordered. "Now."

"There – there's four of them!" Peridot blurted out.

Pyrite rolled her eyes. "Yes, we know _that_ much. Who are they? What are their weaknesses?"

"Uh – " Peridot had no idea what to say. "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl! Garnet is a fusion composed of two gems, Ruby and Sapphire – they must be fused, the sensors are only counting them as one gem. Jasper and I split them apart the first – uh –"

"The first time you came to this planet." Pyrite put her down, to Peridot's relief. "So what about the other two? We have the information on Lapis Lazuli, so don't bother with her."

She nodded and quickly continued. "Amethyst is – I don't know where she came from. I've never heard of Amethyst gems before now. Ste – I was told she came from the Kindergarten here on Earth, but all reports say that the Kindergarten was shut down before –"

"Forget the reports, all the ones on Earth you'd have access are unreliable. So Amethyst came from the Kindergarten. Now what about the Pearl?"

"Pearl? She – she –"

Peridot didn't know. She barely knew anything about the gems that had held her prisoner. She knew Steven's favorite kind of ice cream sandwich and the rules of Citchen Calamity, but nothing that would help in a fight against Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl. She stammered unintelligibly until Pyrite told her, "Stop. You are useless."

Peridot stopped.

"I will inform Obsidian of these developments. You will stay here until otherwise instructed. Dottie, use the ship's weaponry as you see fit against these Crystal Gems. And use _this_ –" The gold fork hit Dottie in the side of the head before she could raise a hand to catch it. "– if she gives you any trouble."

"Understood," said Dottie, picking up the destabilizer from the ground with one hand still in the controls.

"Good. Do not fail."

Pyrite left the room at a run.

Peridot was left standing there, unsure of what to do or how to react. The Crystal Gems were coming for her, that much was obvious. Lapis Lazuli must have guided them here. Peridot tried to force herself to think rationally, but thoughts of Lapis led to thoughts of Malachite led to the memory of _trapped underwater cold pressure darkness_ that repeated endlessly until she focused only on the sound and feel of her own breathing.

What had she been like before she had been assigned to this planet? Not like this, a scared, pathetic mess that couldn't even pilot a ship correctly. Before, she had the drive to succeed. She had completed every mission assigned to her with outstanding results, until _this_.

Now she was pathetic, useless, a failure and a –

"At least you're not a _traitor_ ," Dottie said.

Peridot stiffened. "What?"

Dottie didn't turn away from the controls. "Obsidian was already considering suggesting to Yellow Diamond to shut down the Peridot program," she said. "Track down and deactivate all Peridots across all the gem-controlled planets. The only difficulty would be finding decent replacements."

She said this all so casually, seemingly unaware of the horror coursing through Peridot's body. "Of course," she continued, "Peridots were designed for this possibility. Nobody wanted a repeat of the Pearls. So measures were taken to prevent what happened then ever happening again. So they gave us loyalty, honesty, a drive for success and a fear of consequences. They left out all the combat abilities of a Pearl, so we wouldn't be a threat. And they gave us a kill switch, in case all that failed."

Finally, Dottie turned to Peridot, her narrowed eyes coursing with data from the ship. "But you aren't a traitor," she said. "If you were a traitor, every other Peridot would die with you. But since you're only a failure, you will die, and every other Peridot will live."

She stood up, taking the destabilizer in hand. Peridot took a step back.

"Oh, what's wrong?" Dottie said with mock sympathy. "Are you afraid? You should be. It's how we were programmed. A fear of failure. A fear of death. The drive to do anything – _anything_ – to survive."

"What are you – what are you –"

"You don't get it? I'm going to make sure you keep being loyal to Homeworld." Dottie advanced towards her. "You won't live long enough to be anything else!"

Peridot ran.

* * *

They took the Gem Sloop, Lapis using her powers to push it through the water. Steven sat next to Amethyst, wearing his jacket to protect him from the wind chill. He couldn't say he wasn't nervous, though he was glad he was able to come with them; they didn't know what kinds of gems they were up against, and it was going to be dangerous. Still, Steven couldn't get Peridot's voice out of his head, the way she sounded when she told him she was going to die.

He didn't want to hear anyone sound like that again.

They could see the ship in the distance now, another giant green hand. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl stiffened at the sight. Lapis didn't seem to react, though she might've been too focused on keeping the boat going. Steven looked around at them. "Should we slow down?" he asked.

Garnet adjusted her shades. "In every possible future, they notice us before we reach the ship," she said. "Stick to the plan."

Steven nodded, and looked back at the ship as it grew bigger and bigger on the horizon.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Amethyst asked.

"No," said Garnet.

"Figured."

They drew ever closer to the ship. Finally, Garnet signaled to Lapis. She nodded and dove into the water. The boat continued moving at the same speed. Steven shivered and wrapped his arms around himself.

"Why haven't they done anything?" he asked.

Garnet frowned. "I don't know," she said. "They should have noticed us by now."

"I don't like this," Pearl said.

The words were barely out of her mouth before Lapis acted.

Pillars of water rose out of the ocean and slammed into the ship, pitching it to the side. One after another, they piled on top of it from all directions, until the hand was weighed down by the weight of the water, and it began to sink towards the surface. The boat lurched back and forth in the rough waves, but continued moving forward.

"Amethyst, now!" Garnet said when they were nearly underneath the hand.

"Got it!" Amethyst stood up and together, they leapt into the air. Garnet grabbed Amethyst and threw her up at the ship, where she landed on one of the giant fingers. Garnet landed back on the boat, nearly capsizing it, and Pearl grabbed Steven before he could fall out.

Just then, the hand jerked, and Amethyst scrabbled for a handhold on the smooth surface of the ship. Steven held his breath as she slid down the side, then let it out in a sigh of relief as she found purchase and gave a thumbs up.

Once the ship stopped its jerky movements Amethyst dropped her whip down to the boat. Garnet grabbed Pearl and Steven and took hold of it, and painstakingly, Amethyst pulled them all up.

"You guys are heavy," she remarked when they were all safely on top of the ship.

Garnet ignored that remark. "Alright, gems," she said. "Let's go!"


	16. Peridot Hates Failure, Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a pain in the behind to write bc I can't write action scenes and I'm trying very hard to wrangle the plot in order... im not gonna lie 95% of my plot twists are made up on the fly and it leads to bad writing sometimes but I'm trying very hard to improve on that
> 
> i just paused this chapter note to revise the chapter Again. ok let's get on with things
> 
> so, I've been thinking, and once we get more information in the show about peridot & homeworld & whatnot, I'm gonna be rewriting this fic to be more canon compliant. this means, among other things, I'll get the chance to add in peridot's powers, write a more accurate interpretation of malachite, give connie awesome swordfighting skills, make rose's room work accurately, have less OCs, and also, remember that lion exists. did you notice lion hasn't been in this fic, like, at all? why? why is that? because im a ding dong, that's why.
> 
> so you can look forward to that eventually! I'm gonna finish this version of the fic first, though, so don't worry about that. there's roughly 5 chapters left, probably more bc I underestimate the size of my chapters all the time. anyway here's the next chapter just take it I can't bear to look at it any longer
> 
> edit: I forgot something important!! [there's a steven universe gift exchange that I found & is cool!](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StevenUniverseExchange) i've signed up already, but it needs more signups... please join me

"Uh, hey."

Connie turned, caught by surprise at the voice. She recognized Ronaldo from when Steven had introduced them a while back, standing there with his hands in his pockets. "Hey," she said.

The two of them stood on the beach, staring out at the sea. Connie checked the time on her phone; still fifteen minutes before her parents arrived to pick her up. They didn't want her walking home this time of night.

It was Ronaldo who broke the silence. "So, uh, where's Steven?"

"He and the gems went to rescue Peridot," Connie said.

Ronaldo's eyes widened and he turned to look at her. "Really? Do they know where she is?"

"Yeah. Steven said Homeworld gems found her."

"So... she's okay now, right?" Ronaldo averted his eyes. "Why are they going to rescue her?"

Connie hesitated. "They... Homeworld... she called Steven – Garnet said she had a connection to his phone somehow – and said that Homeworld was going to kill her. That's why they're going to rescue her."

Ronaldo reacted as if he had been physically struck, stumbling backwards in the sand. " _What?_ But – that's not what I wanted! I didn't think – I thought –"

That was strange. Connie stared at him, frowning. "What did you think?"

He shook his head forcefully. "Peridot wanted to – to contact her home planet, right? I thought I was –" He paused, and shook his head again. "No, I mean – forget it. Is she going to be all right?"

Connie looked down, fiddling with her hands. "I... don't know."

For another long while, they were silent. Connie broke the silence this time. "I wish there was something we could do to help."

Ronaldo looked away. "Yeah."

* * *

Peridot could hear Dottie's feet pounding behind her. They were the same model, but gems grown outside of a Kindergarten tended to vary greatly between individuals, and Dottie was smaller and, more importantly, slower.

For a moment, Peridot let herself think she had a chance for survival.

She was quick to dash that hope out of her mind. She didn't know where she was going. Sure, she had a map of the ship inside her head, so she knew the direction she was heading in, but she had no destination. She couldn't keep running forever. Not with five other gems on the ship who were all prepared to kill her – along with every other Peridot.

Peridot felt a twinge of doubt and nearly stumbled.

Before coming to Earth, the choice between her life and every other Peridot's life would have been easy. She wanted to survive, after all. Even now, she wanted to survive – wasn't that why she was running, despite the hopelessness of her situation? The doubt certainly didn't come from any desire to sacrifice herself for the rest of Peridotkind.

The doubt was, "What would Steven think?"

Suddenly, the floor pitched beneath her feet, and Peridot lost her balance and fell over. Behind her, she heard the _thud_ of Dottie doing the same. Peridot scrambled to her feet and started running again, eager to put some distance between the two of them.

"YOU! _Why_ aren't you piloting the ship?!"

The shout came from behind her. Peridot ducked into a passage and stopped to listen as Dottie stammered out a response.

"Pyrite, I – I – the other Peridot! I had to – she – she tried to attack me, tried to sabotage –"

"So you abandoned your post to _chase_ her?!" Pyrite shouted. "When you _knew_ there were gems approaching! Get back to the control room! I'll deal with your problem!"

"I – I – yes! Understood!"

The ship pitched again. The walls groaned and creaked. What was happening outside? Peridot heard Dottie's running footsteps fade away, and Pyrite's footsteps approaching. Peridot pressed herself against the wall. If she moved now, Pyrite would hear her, but if she stayed – !

It was over, Peridot thought in despair. She had tried to hard to stay alive, and yet, her own doubts, her own failings, her own treacherous self had ruined her. If only she hadn't been assigned to this planet. If only she had been able to follow orders. If only none of the humans – Connie, Ronaldo, the donut lady – had been kind to her. If only Steven had never considered making friends with her, had never considered changing her, had only treated her as a prisoner, and nothing more.

Pyrite's footsteps came closer and closer. Peridot covered her mouth to suppress a sob.

Had it been worth it? To give up everything, just because a half-human boy thought she could be _good_?

"There you are!"

Pyrite grabbed her, and Peridot struck out in desperation, kicking her in the gut and trying to wrench her arm free. It was useless; Pyrite slammed her against the wall, leaving her dazed.

"You've caused us a lot of trouble," Pyrite grumbled, taking out a destabilizer. "At least now we'll have one less problem on our hands."

* * *

"Amethyst, now!"

"Right-o, Garnet!"

Pyrite looked away at the shout, and a familiar purple-studded whip struck the destabilizer out of her hand. She yelped in pain and reached her hand to the gem on her shoulder, but she didn't get a chance to summon her weapon before Pearl closed the distance between them and thrust her spear through her. Pyrite's physical form poofed into smoke, and Peridot fell to the ground.

Pearl stepped forward, picked up Pyrite's gem, and bubbled her. "One down," she said, sending the bubble away. "How many are there?"

She looked down at Peridot, who looked back up in undisguised terror.

"Oh, don't give me that look," she said. "We're here to rescue you, aren't we?"

"Peridot!"

Steven skidded to a stop just before he reached her. He hesitated, looking down at her. Peridot realized she must look awful. Physically, she wasn't hurt, but she was having trouble keeping her thoughts straight, and the memories of her trauma were still fresh in her head. She couldn't even make eye contact with him.

Then Steven closed the distance between them with a hug.

"I was so worried!" he said, and Peridot could feel his breath on her shoulder. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?"

Amethyst groaned. "We don't have _time_ for this," she said.

"For once, I agree with Amethyst," Pearl said. "Steven, we need to get going!"

"Okay..." Reluctantly, Steven let go of Peridot, and held out a hand to help her up. She took it, standing up shakily, and Pearl repeated her earlier question: "How many are there?"

"Four more," Peridot said, fighting to keep her voice steady. "Obsidian, Turquoise, Jasper, and – and – another Peridot."

"First thing's first," Garnet said. "We go to the control room and take care of the pilot. Lapis can't hold the ship down forever. Without a pilot, they won't be able to leave. Peridot, which way to the control room?"

It was then that Peridot finally resigned herself to her change of allegiance. One thing was clear: if she stayed with Homeworld, she would die. If she followed the orders of the Crystal Gems, if Steven still cared about her, then maybe, just maybe, she had a chance of survival. In the back of her mind, a voice was screaming at her – _TRAITOR TRAITOR TRAITOR_ – but she pushed it away.

"This way," she said, pointing down the hall.

Peridot retraced the way back to the control room, the Crystal Gems following behind her. Her hands were shaking. She tried to will them to stop, but it didn't work. Every footsteps seemed to echo through the halls, and Peridot was certain that everyone in the ship could hear them, and it was only a matter of time before they were caught.

Before she turned the last corner, Garnet grabbed her and pulled her back. It took all of Peridot's self-control not to cry out. Pearl quickly moved to the front of the line, gripping her spear tight.

Peridot heard a familiar voice, muffled through the closed door of the control room:

"Understand this," Obsidian said. "We cannot afford to take any chances. It only took one Pearl for the rest of them to turn, after all."

Pearl stiffened, and Steven looked up at her with a quizzical expression. She didn't look at him.

"But we aren't planning to dispose of _you_ ," Obsidian continued. "You're the highest-ranking Peridot, after all. That's why you have the clearance to work with others of your kind. Despite recent... _errors,_ you are the epitome of what Peridots are supposed to be. You _are_ Peridot, and soon you will be the _only_ Peridot. Do you understand?"

Silence. Amethyst took a step forward, but Garnet held her back.

"Do you _understand,_ Peridot?" Obsidian repeated.

"Yes," came Dottie's trembling voice.

"Good. Don't disappoint me."

The door slid open.

At Garnet's signal, Pearl struck first, swiftly stepping out from behind the corner and thrusting forward with her spear. Obsidian deflected it with her weapon; it had been summoned before they had even arrived. She gripped the handle of her morning star and swung it, and Pearl was barely able to dodge in the tight corridor.

Garnet was next, Pearl ducking out of her way as she charged forward. Obsidian swung her morning star again, and Garnet made a move to grab it. At the last second, she ducked instead, and the sudden change of plans nearly caused her to lose her balance.

"Peridot, look out!"

Peridot had been so focused on the fight between the Crystal Gems and Obsidian that she didn't notice the gem coming up from behind her until Steven shouted. She didn't react in time to dodge the lance thrown at her, but Steven did – he jumped in front of her with his shield. The lance crashed into it with a force that knocked him backwards into Peridot, and they both tripped over each other and fell to the ground.

The tall, cyan gem in the hall gritted her teeth and reached under her chin to summon another lance from her gem. Before she could throw it, Amethyst's whip wrapped around her arm and pulled back, hard. The gem – Turquoise, Peridot thought, this must be Turquoise – stumbled forward and lost her grip on the second lance.

"Amethyst!" Garnet called back. "You take care of that one!"

Amethyst growled under her breath as Turquoise ripped her arm free of the whip and picked up the lance again. She didn't complain, though; just summoned another whip and cracked it towards her enemy.

Steven rolled off Peridot, still holding his shield. Peridot was picking herself off the ground when she heard Pearl scream.

She looked up to see Pearl poof into smoke, her gem falling through the air. Garnet caught it and tossed it to Steven while Obsidian pulled her morning star out of the wall. "Change of plans!" she shouted. "Peridot, get Steven out of here!"

Steven caught Pearl's gem and nearly dropped it, his hands were shaking so much. "But what about _you?_ "

"Don't worry about us, Steven!" Amethyst said, her voice strained. "We can handle these guys!"

"But –"

"Peridot!" Garnet shouted again. "Why aren't you _moving?_ Get outside the ship! _GO!_ "

Peridot finally realized she should be doing something.

Quickly, she picked up Steven, who yelped in surprise, and scanned the area for the easiest escape. The two of them were blocked in, with Amethyst and Turquoise fighting on one side, and Garnet and Obsidian around on the other. What could they do? Where could they go?

_The control room._ Peridot eyed the door. It was behind Obsidian, but it was their only chance – she could access the escape pods from there!

Steven tried to push her arms off him. "I can help, Garnet! Peridot, put me down! I'm a Crystal Gem _too!_ "

Obsidian swung at Garnet, and the momentum carried her forward a few steps. Behind her, there was an opening. Peridot adjusted her grip on Steven and _ran_.

She slammed into the door to the control room before it could fully open, and stumbled inside. The door shut behind her, and Dottie swiveled around in the pilot's chair, horror written all over her face.

"Go back!" Steven pleaded. "We have to help them! Peridot, please –"

Dottie's expression changed to one of pure rage.

"She isn't Peridot!" she screamed. " _I_ am Peridot! She is _nothing!_ "

She grabbed a destabilizer from the control panel and lunged at them. Peridot dropped Steven – an action she regretted a moment later, when he hit the ground with a cry of pain – and raised her arms to cover her gem.

Steven recovered quickly, grabbing Dottie's leg and bringing her to the ground with a yell. Peridot saw her chance – she threw herself on top of her, took hold of Steven's shirt with one hand, and grabbed Dottie's hair with the other, yanking her head back.

"You – you –" Dottie tried to pull away, but Peridot gripped her head hard. Gritting her teeth, she tightened her hold on Steven and slammed Dottie's forehead into the ground as hard as she could.

The ship registered the impact of Dottie's gem against the ground, and the emergency operations activated, an escape pod forming around the three of them. Peridot got a glimpse of the door sliding open again before the pod sank into the floor and was shot outside the ship.


	17. Peridot Hates Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I have something I've gotta say in this author's note and im gonna say it no matter how kinda ashamed I am. I mean I'm making it sound worse than it is bc I Am A Garbage Kid but.
> 
> first off, I'm going to finish this fic no matter what, and I'm going to continue posting fanfiction here for everyone to read no matter what, and I want to get back to a once-a-week update schedule (or perhaps more frequently, even) and I'll do my best to accomplish that no matter what.
> 
> so like, yeah, I have a [patreon for my writing,](http://patreon.com/carterwriting) but I don't want to pressure anyone to contribute to it. at all. if you have money to spare and you want to contribute, that's cool! but if you don't want to contribute, that's cool too! no pressure. just enjoy my writing, that's all I really want.
> 
> now that that embarrassing thing is over with, here's the chapter

The escape pod hit the water hard, with Peridot, Steven, and Dottie tumbling around in the gel that filled the inside. Steven was yelling something unintelligible – Peridot felt grateful, at least, that he was talking, because it meant he could _breathe_ – while Dottie fought with her over the controls.

The pod was sinking fast, and Peridot was having trouble gaining control long enough to bring it back up to the surface. Unwanted memories of being trapped at the bottom of the sea filled her mind – she was not going back there she was not going back there she was _not going back there_ –

Peridot glanced out the viewport; the light from outside was getting darker and darker. Dottie used her moment of distraction to shove her off and take control of the pod again, and Peridot grabbed her arms and struggled to stop her from doing anything.

The walls were groaning and creaking. The glass cracked. Peridot flinched at the sound. What was happening? The escape pod shouldn't be breaking down under the pressure already. Unless –

"Lapis!" Steven's eyes widened. "She – she doesn't know we're in here!"

Of course. Lapis Lazuli had no reason to assume that the escape pod held anyone other than the enemy. She would use the water to crush all three of them and bury their remains at the bottom of the sea. Peridot found herself breathing hard, sucking the gel in and out of her body, even though there was no benefit to it.

Abruptly, Dottie dropped the controls and flung herself at the viewport. Peridot was barely able to hold her back.

"What are you _doing?_ " she yelled.

"I have to get _out_ of here!" Dottie yelled back. "I'm not dying here!"

It was useless. They both knew it was useless. Maybe it was a flaw in their programming, to keep struggling for survival even when it was hopeless. Peridot should let Dottie go, let her break out and be crushed under the weight of the water, but if she did that, the water would rush in and Steven would _drown_.

Wait.

"Steven!" Peridot gritted her teeth. "Lapis won't kill us if she knows you're here! You have to send her a signal somehow!"

"How?" Steven cried. "She can't hear me down here!"

"Use your weird Steven powers!"

"They're not my powers, they're my mom's!" Steven gripped his gem through his clothes. "And I don't know how to use them!"

"I _literally just_ saw you use your shield when –"

A loud cracking interrupted her, and the walls of the escape pod began crumpling inwards. The lights inside started flickering, and water from outside began to mix with the gel. Peridot lost all composure.

"I can't do anything!" she screamed. "I'm a failure and everyone wants me dead! I just want to _live!_ I hate this!"

Peridot squeezed her eyes shut, as the lights all flickered off and they were engulfed in darkness. "I hate this planet, I hate my superiors for assigning me here, I hate that I can never go back, and I hate – I hate –"

She heard the sounds of the pod breaking apart around them, and what surely were her last words were cut off by a sob.

A moment passed. Peridot opened her eyes.

They were encased by a pink bubble, trapping what was left of the gel. Peridot turned to Steven, who had his arms thrown out, his face scrunched up in concentration, and found herself speechless.

There was enough light to see, now; Lapis must be bringing them up to the surface, having realized that something wasn't right. Peridot looked up and saw the surface approaching rapidly, and with a _spash_ , they were out.

"Steven!" Lapis' eyes were wide in horror. "I almost killed you! What were you doing in there? And –" Her eyes fell on the two Peridots, still on top of each other. "– why are you with _them?_ Where are the others?"

Steven dropped the bubble, releasing the gel to drain into the sea, and the three of them landed on the hand that Lapis had sculpted, the water solid beneath their weight. Steven took a deep breath and started coughing up the gel he had inhaled.

"Pearl got poofed!" he said when he had recovered, pulling out Pearl's gem from his jacket pocket. "And Garnet n' Amethyst are still in there!"

Lapis' eyes fell on the two Peridots. "What did they do to you?"

Peridot opened her mouth to answer, but streams of water wrapped themselves around her and choked the words out of her. Dottie let out a strangled cry, the same thing happening to her. The water hand they were on split into two, carrying Peridot and Dottie away from Steven.

"They didn't do anything!" Steven stood up quickly. "Lapis, let them go! Peridot was trying to help me!"

"Peridot nearly got you killed," Lapis said coldly.

"No! She was just listening to Garnet!"

For a long moment, Lapis didn't do anything. Finally, she said, "Fine."

The hands lowered them down to a boat that Peridot assumed belonged to the Crystal Gems, though she didn't recognize it. The water released her, and she fell gasping into it, knocking her head on a bench. Lapis landed lightly behind them and helped Steven step down from the watery hand.

Dottie was still bound, and she struggled, trying to break free, but only succeeded in squirming around in the bottom of the boat. Lapis frowned at her.

"Why don't we throw that one overboard?" she asked. Dottie immediately stopped squirming.

"That would be _wrong!_ " Steven said.

Dottie glared up at Steven. "If you don't let me go, there will be _severe consequences for_ –"

Lapis picked her up and dropped her overboard.

"Lapis!" Steven cried. "Bring her back!"

"Why? She was a problem. I solved the problem."

"We shouldn't be mean to her!"

Peridot covered her face in her hands.

They were all the same, weren't they? Replaceable. Expendable. If any other Peridot had been sent to Earth in her place, Steven would still have been kind to her, would still have read to her and drawn pictures with her and played that awful Citchen Calamity game with her. Peridot – this Peridot – wasn't anyone _special_.

She knew this. She knew this all along. So why was she upset?

"Peridot? Are you okay?"

The sound of Steven saying her name, knowing that she shared it with dozens of others, felt like a physical blow.

"Steven." Lapis spoke before Peridot could think of a way to respond. "What exactly did Garnet tell Peridot to do?"

"She said..." Steven averted his gaze. "She said to get outside the ship."

"She told me to take Steven and get out of there," Peridot said, her voice muffled by her hands.

"She probably wanted us to find you, Lapis, so you could help us rescue them!" Steven said quickly. "Because... she wouldn't want us to just leave them there! Right?"

There was a hint of light on the horizon. It was almost morning. Neither Peridot nor Lapis answered Steven.

"They're strong," Peridot said.

"I know they're strong! I was there, too!"

"They're just going to send more, even if we manage to stop these ones from going back," Lapis said.

"We don't know that! Maybe they won't send any more gems! Maybe – maybe –"

Steven clenched his fists. "Maybe they'll be like you two! You were Homeworld gems, weren't you? But – you care about Earth now, don't you? You wouldn't – you wouldn't just –"

Lapis and Peridot exchanged glances.

"We need to get off-planet," said Peridot.

Lapis nodded. "You fixed the warps once. Can you do it again?"

"Maybe, but it wouldn't help. We can't go back to Homeworld. We have to find a planet that isn't gem-controlled."

"You can't be serious!" Steven's eyes welled up with tears. "You're just going to _leave?_ What about Garnet n' Amethyst? What about _me?_ "

"You're coming with us, Steven," Lapis said matter-of-factly. "We're not going to leave you here to die with the rest of the planet."

"You can't!" he shouted. "I'm not going! This is my home, and I'm going to protect it! Even if I have to rescue Garnet n' Amethyst by myself!"

He turned and nearly jumped overboard before Lapis grabbed the back of his jacket.

"No, Steven," she said sharply. "I'm not going to let you die."

The boat began to move, and the hand ship receded into the distance. Steven yelled and struggled and sobbed, but Lapis wrapped her arms around him and didn't let go. Peridot looked away.

Unwanted thoughts filled her mind – what would happen to Earth, Dottie at the bottom of the ocean, everything that could go wrong if they tried to go off-planet. Peridot wrapped her arms around herself and tried not to think about anything.

* * *

A strange human was waiting for them when they got back to the temple. As soon as Lapis let Steven go, he ran to him. "Dad!"

"Steven!" said the Dad-human, catching Steven in a hug. "Are you alright? What happened? Why is –" He looked up at Lapis and Peridot. "Lapis? And you're Peridot, right? What's going on? Steven, where are Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl?"

"They want to take me away!" Steven said, sobbing.

"They want to _what?!_ " The human picked Steven up and backed up a few steps. "They can't do that!"

Lapis scrunched up her face. "Steven, is this someone... close to you?"

"I'll say! I'm his father!" He glared at the two of them. "And if you're trying to take him away from me – well, I might just be a human, but –"

"We don't have time for this," Peridot snapped. "Garnet and Amethyst have been captured. Pearl is out of commission. Earth has _lost_. If you want Steven to live, give him to us."

The human stared at them for a long moment, then put Steven down. "Steven, run to the car wash. I'll meet up with you there."

"Dad, wait –"

"No one is running anywhere," Lapis said, and thin streams of water began to run up the beach and towards the four of them.

"Guys, _stop!_ "

They all turned at Steven's shout. He was standing with his fists clenched, his eyes red and puffy, and tear-tracks staining his face, glaring at them.

"Everyone just..." He wiped his eyes, and when he looked up again, his eyes were softer. "I don't want anyone to fight. Let's just talk, okay?"

* * *

The human's name was Greg. He was Steven's father, one of the two people who had contributed to Steven's genetic material. The other person had been Rose Quartz.

They all had gone back to the beach house and were sitting on the couch while they explained things. Steven spoke the majority of the time, Lapis filling in when needed. Peridot stayed silent, even when she was prompted, staring out the window and ignoring the other three. Eventually, Greg stopped directing questions at her, and instead asked Steven what he wanted to know about Peridot.

"So you're sure she's on your side now?" he asked him.

Steven nodded. "She could've done all sorts of horrible things to me if she wasn't, but she didn't!"

Greg shook his head. "That's not the most reassuring, kiddo. But don't worry," he quickly added when Steven's face fell. "I believe you. It's the whole taking-you-away thing I'm worried about."

"It's the only way to keep him safe," Lapis said. "We're going to find another planet that can support organic life, where Homeworld can't find us." Her voice was shaking, and she gripped the folds of her dress tight.

"Don't I get any say in this? Steven's my son! He's all I got! You can't just leave!"

Peridot knew very little about human relationships. Why did Greg think he had any claim to Steven? The gems that ran the vats Peridot came out of had no claim to her. They were just doing their job. How was Greg any different?

Peridot did not understand, and eventually, she couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm going for a walk," she said, standing up.

"You _can't_ ," Lapis said. "We have to leave as soon as we've dealt with this."

"We have time," Peridot replied. "We took their pilot. They can't fly the ship without her."

"Peridot," said Steven, "wait –"

"I'll be back soon, Steven."

She walked out the door, and nobody made a move to stop her.


	18. Peridot Hates Herself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well howdy, folks! ok first off, I can't believe I just typed that, and second off, there are probably gonna be longer pauses between updates from here on out. I've got a bunch of other projects going on, such as an older fanfic of mine that I haven't updated since december, some original works, and a couple other things that aren't writing-related. Fun Stuff, but Time-Consuming Stuff.
> 
> I'd like to give an estimate of when I'll actually be finishing this thing, but I don't really know. let's say... around the winter holidays? I have roughly 3-4 more chapters to go, so that's giving myself a lot of time, but I kind of need a lot of time.
> 
> anyway. here is chapter.

Peridot wandered aimlessly through the human city. Few people were out this early in the morning, and the ones that were didn't give her a second glance. She could go where she pleased, if she knew where to go.

She had never had this much freedom before.

The morning sun reflected off a window and shone in her eyes, making her squint. In front of her was the building where she and Ronaldo had hid from the Crystal Gems. He had called it the "Big Donut," apparently named after the enormous food item in question on its roof.

The last Peridot had seen of Ronaldo was when she had gone to face down Malachite. She wondered what he was doing now.

Not that it really mattered, she thought grimly. At this point, Earth could be considered a dead planet. Why waste her mental energy worrying about someone who wouldn't even be alive in a few years' time?

The sound of grating metal pierced her ears. "Peridot!" called a familiar voice, and she winced. She almost didn't want to look in the direction the voice came from, but she did.

Ronaldo waved to her, leaning out from the opening of a building. Peridot met his gaze and turned away. She didn't want to speak to him right now.

"Ronaldo!" That voice was unfamiliar, and she turned back to see who it was. An older human stood behind Ronaldo with a stern look on his face. "You're not supposed to open the shutters before we open!"

"Yeah, but Dad –"

So this was another father? Ronaldo's father? Did every human father have claim to the humans they helped create? Peridot was just making assumptions blindly, without any evidence. The more she knew about humans, the more she was sure that she didn't know anything.

So lost in thought, it took a moment for her to realize that Ronaldo and his father had stopped talking, and that they were looking at her now. Ronaldo called to her again. "Hey, why don't you come on over? You can meet my family!"

Peridot could just leave. That was entirely within the realm of possibilities. But where else could she go?

There were too many decisions she had to make on her own. She wanted someone else to make the decisions for a while.

* * *

"So you're the girl Ronaldo ran off with?"

Ronaldo groaned. "We didn't run off, Dad..."

"Sure seemed like it to me!" Ronaldo's father gave him another one of his stern looks, then turned to Peridot and stuck out his hand. "Well, it's good to see him making friends. You can call me Mr. Fryman. Just promise me you won't take him away from me, alright?"

Peridot nodded. They stood there awkwardly for a long moment until Ronaldo whispered loudly to her. "You're supposed to shake hands!"

"Shake hands?" Peridot held up her own hand, with its detached fingers. Mr. Fryman began to say something and quickly covered it up with a cough, resulting in a very strange noise.

"Well," he said, bringing his hand back. "It's just formalities. Ronaldo told me you're an alien, is that true?"

Peridot nodded again, unsure of what to say.

There was someone behind Mr. Fryman, a younger human with hair like Ronaldo's. He was closing the door when he looked up and jumped when he saw Peridot. "Whoa!"

"That's my brother, Peedee," Ronaldo said. "Peedee, this is Peridot. You remember her, right?"

Peedee narrowed his eyes. "Yeah," he said. "Weren't you being held prisoner or something?"

Peridot shrugged, ignoring the look Mr. Fryman gave her and Ronaldo. "Not anymore," she said.

"Really?" said Ronaldo. "That's great! What, uh, happened?"

A hundred different ways to respond went through her mind. _I can't be held prisoner if there's no one to imprison me. They trusted me, in the end. I had to get out of there. The mission failed. I –_

"I'll tell you later," she said.

"Alright, boys," Mr. Fryman said loudly. "We open up shop in half an hour. It's time to get working!" He turned to Peridot. "It was nice meeting you!" To Ronaldo: "You can chat with your friend later."

"Dad," Ronaldo started, "can I get the day off to –"

"Nope."

"Aw, come on!"

"Can I stay?" Peridot asked.

Mr. Fryman gave her an odd look. "Well, if you want to, I suppose. You don't have anywhere else to be?"

"No." She didn't want to go back to Lapis, Steven, and Greg just yet.

"Alright, then. Just try not to distract Ronaldo too much."

Ronaldo showed Peridot a place to sit in the corner of the kitchen, and so she sat and watched.

* * *

Once they opened, things got much busier. Ronaldo and his family's job was to cook food for the other humans – specifically, to cook "fries." Peridot was offered some, but she turned them down, reiterating that she didn't need to eat.

"Huh," said Mr. Fryman. "You're one of Steven's friends, right?"

Peridot flinched. "What do you mean by that?" she said cautiously. Ronaldo glanced over from where he was mopping the floor.

"Well, I mean –" He waved a hand in the air. "Steven's got these friends, right? The Pizzas were invited to a beach party at their place awhile back, and Kofi told me that they don't eat. Just don't need to! And I said no, that's not right, I've seen the purple one eat, I've served her and Steven fry bits. But –"

Someone came to the counter and Mr. Fryman hurried over to serve them fries.

"Hey," said Ronaldo. Peridot nearly jumped out of her chair. She seen him come over, but there he was, still holding the mop. He leaned it against the wall and frowned at her.

"Did something bad happen back there?" he asked.

Peridot said nothing and waited for him to go back to what he was doing. He didn't.

"It's not like I don't know anything," he continued. "Connie said that _Steven_ said he and his friends were going to go rescue you, but... I guess I should... probably apologize."

"What?" said Peridot, only half listening.

"There was kind of..." Ronaldo looked down at his feet. "Okay, wow, this is really hard to say. You see, after that... thing... got you, I didn't know what to do! I wanted to do _something_ , but... and I mean, you said you had to contact Homeworld, right?"

The mention of Homeworld got Peridot's attention right away, and she sat up straighter and stared at him. For a moment, the worst possible scenario entered her mind – but no, Ronaldo would have no idea how to contact Homeworld. He couldn't possibly have –

"So, I, uh, went back to that Kindergarten place, and, uh, found that hole in the ground –"

No no that was impossible the relay was _broken_ it didn't have a power source –

"– I mean, it was kind of scary, like, there were these noises like _things_ were crawling in the walls..." He shook his head. "But, I really wanted to help you! I know you think I'm – insignificant and never going to accomplish anything, but –"

"Oy! Ronaldo!" Mr. Fryman called from the other side of the room. "Get back to work!"

"– you're here now! And you're okay! So, I guess I accomplished something after all... right?"

Peridot didn't know if the feeling coursing through her and making her tremble was anger or fear.

"You contacted Homeworld," she said, miraculously keeping her voice steady.

"I mean, kind of? I didn't really –"

"You contacted Homeworld!" she shouted, standing up forcefully and getting the attention of Mr. Fryman and Peedee.

"What's going on?" Peedee said in confusion. "What did Ronaldo do?"

"He –" Peridot pressed her fingers to her head. "Wait. No. Ronaldo, tell me _exactly_ what you did. Actually, no," she said, just as he opened his mouth. "I don't care. It doesn't matter what you did, what matters is that you did it, and now I have to deal with the consequences."

"Actually," said Mr. Fryman, "I think it would be a really good idea for Ronaldo to explain what he did, because if he did something bad or _hurt_ someone –"

Ronaldo looked absolutely terrified, cornered between Peridot, and his father, and Peridot thought back to Jasper shouting at her the first time they had gone to Earth, after they had captured the Crystal Gems. Was this the same? Peridot felt a pang of sympathy.

"It's fine," she said. "He didn't make things worse, not really. He only... accelerated the process of making things worse."

"Peridot?" Ronaldo said. "Can we please not talk about this in front of my dad?"

"Ronaldo, you are going to tell me exactly what you did _right this instant_."

"I thought I was helping!" he blurted out. "I thought I was doing the right thing!"

Peridot just shook her head wordlessly.

Mr. Fryman sighed. "Look, Ronaldo," he said. "I love you and I care about you, but you and I both know that you have different ideas about what's right than most people."

The upset look on Ronaldo's face made Peridot want to leave and go somewhere else where she would never have to see someone look like that again, but she found her feet were rooted to the ground. A heavy silence descended over the four of them, and after a long moment, Mr. Fryman cleared his throat and spoke again.

"I just don't want you to get hurt or in trouble," he said.

Ronaldo clenched his fist, opened it, didn't say anything.

Mr. Fryman continued. "Ronaldo, there's no one else like you. If I lose you, I'll never get you back. Don't you understand?"

"What does that mean?" Ronaldo said, his voice shaking. "What the _hell_ does that _mean?_ "

"Hey, watch your language around Peedee!"

"Dad, I've heard the word 'hell' before."

Peridot had no idea what was going on.

"I mean it like –" Mr. Fryman shook his head. "There's no replacement for you! I can't go and ask someone to make me another Ronaldo Fryman –"

"Well, maybe –" Ronaldo's voice was rising to the level of a shout. "– maybe – !"

He was cut off by Peridot shoving past them and walking to the exit.

"Peridot?" he asked. "Where are you going?"

She didn't respond, and Ronaldo moved to follow her.

"Ronaldo, wait –" Mr. Fryman put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Ronaldo shrugged him off and glared at him before going after Peridot, who had already left the building.

* * *

"Peridot!"

Ronaldo was only able to catch up with her when they reached the beach. At the sound of his footsteps crunching on the sand, she turned around, making no attempt to hide her expression.

"...are you crying?"

"You _can,_ " she choked out in a half-sob.

"I can... what?"

Peridot wiped her eyes and looked away. "If a Peridot is lost, or broken, or fails to do her job correctly, you can ask for a new Peridot to replace her. I was told that from the beginning."

"Oh," said Ronaldo. "That's, uh –"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

Peridot looked back at him. "You told me you knew the truth," she said. "So is it true? That there's no one else like you?"

Ronaldo flinched. "When my dad says that, he doesn't mean it in a good way."

"Is it _true?_ " Peridot demanded. "That no one else can replace you? That once you're lost, no one can get you back?"

"I don't want to talk about this, Peridot –"

"Because it's not true for _me._ " She was crying again, and she hated herself for it. "I'm replaceable. I'm expendable. If they lose me, they can just get another Peridot with the same programming. No one would be able to tell the difference!"

Ronaldo fell silent at her outburst, staring at her with wide eyes. Peridot angrily wiped her tears away.

"Is every human..." She shook her head. "Unique? Irreplaceable? Valuable? Like you are?"

"Well..." Ronaldo trailed off, and Peridot waited for him to continue.

"Yeah," he finally said.

Peridot looked down the beach, in the direction of the temple and Steven's house.

"I have to go back," she said.

"Back where? To _Homeworld?_ "

"No!" she said sharply. "Back to the ship. Never mind," she said, seeing the look of confusion on his face. "I'll explain on the way. _You_ still have to explain how, exactly, you were able to contact Homeworld."

Ronaldo laughed nervously. "Uh, maybe I should go back to –"

At the glare Peridot gave him, he quickly changed his mind. "– I mean, okay, I'll come with you."

"Good." With that, she grabbed his arm, and they began walking down the beach. Once they had rounded the corner to the temple, Ronaldo asked, "What exactly is going on?"

"Humans aren't replaceable," she said simply. "Therefore, Earth is not replaceable. I won't abandon this planet. I'll stay and fight against Homeworld."

The Crystal Gems would live. Steven would live. And so would Ronaldo, his family, Connie, and every other human on the planet.

So it didn't matter what happened to her.

Steven could always get a new Peridot.


	19. Peridot Hates the Difficulty of Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god why did I decide to name my chapters in this fic naming things is so hard. I made it slightly easier by giving myself a pattern to follow but what was I supposed to name this one??? peridot hates chapter titles
> 
> anyway, hey, I'm back again, updating this fic with a short chapter but a chapter nonetheless. updates should increase in frequency from now on, but I can't make any promises bc I'm starting an original project soon that I can't say much about but it's been taking up a lot of my time. still, I really do want to finish this around the winter holidays, so I'll continue to aim for that.
> 
> so yeah. this chapter was difficult. I had to delete everything and rewrite it like 3 times but I'm finally happy with it. sort of??? I kind of rushed revision this time bc I really wanted to get it posted haha I'm actually a terrible writer.

Peridot dragged Ronaldo across the beach, to the temple, up the stairs, and finally pushed open the door to tell Lapis and Steven what she realized, even getting as far as starting her sentence. "Steven, I –"

And then she stopped, because they weren't there.

"He's not here," Ronaldo said unhelpfully.

Peridot turned around and pushed past him to go out the door again. On the deck, she looked around, but she couldn't see any sign of Steven, Lapis, or even Greg. Where were they? Had they gone somewhere else? Well, obviously they had, but where?

A horrifying thought entered her mind. Had Lapis taken Steven off the planet without her?

Impossible, she told herself, _impossible._ They couldn't possibly have left in the short amount of time Peridot had been gone, and Steven wouldn't have wanted to leave her behind, or even leave at all, unless Lapis had managed to change his mind _but that was impossible he wouldn't leave her here_ –

"Hey, Peridot, there's a note here!"

She forced her thoughts off that track and looked back. Ronaldo was holding a sheet of paper. When she went back inside, he handed it to her. "See?" he said.

"I can't read your language," Peridot said.

"Oh, uh, right, obviously. I'll read it for you." He took the note back and began reading it out loud.

"Pearl,

"Some bad things happened. Garnet and Amethyst are still on the ship, and Lapis and Peridot don't want to go rescue them or protect Earth or anything. They just want to take me away to some other planet. It's really scary. Dad told them not to but then Peridot went out and Lapis still wants to leave.

"Me and Dad and Lapis are going out. I called Connie, too. We're going to show Lapis how nice Earth is, and how important and special it is, and then she'll want to protect it, like you and Garnet and Amethyst do! And then we'll find Peridot and we'll do it again and then we'll rescue Garnet and Amethyst and we can all be Crystal Gems and protect humanity together!

"We'll be back soon. I hope you're not still poofed when we get back so you can read this note.

"Steven. Are you crying?"

At Peridot's confusion, Ronaldo quickly clarified. "That last bit wasn't part of the note. That was just me. But are you?"

"No," she said, blinking her tears away. "But... that's good. They haven't left. I mean, yes, they have but... we'll just have to wait for them to get back."

She sat down on the couch. After a moment's hesitation, Ronaldo sat down next to her. "It's kind of weird," he said. "I mean, I wasn't exactly... invited in."

"It doesn't matter," said Peridot. "We just have to wait."

Something was bothering her, something about what Ronaldo had said earlier. "I don't understand," she said out loud, and Ronaldo turned towards her in confusion.

"What don't you understand?" he said.

Peridot had to search for the right words. "What your dad said," she said slowly. "That you were irreplaceable. You said he didn't mean it in a good way. I fail to see how else he could have meant it."

Ronaldo slumped back on the couch. "I don't want to talk about this."

"But... If every human is different, it means that there's no standard to deviate from. No human could ever be considered wrong or defective. They'd all be valued. I don't understand."

He was quiet for a moment, and Peridot was about to start talking again when he said, "That's not true."

"What's not true?"

"People think that some humans are defective all the time." Ronaldo crossed his arms and looked away. "I know my dad thinks that about me."

"Why?"

" _Why_ are you asking so many questions?"

"Because I want to understand," Peridot said. "I don't know anything about humans. I know you're an organic species that came about by chance, but – I thought you were all the same." She shook her head. "It seems ridiculous now, that I thought that. You have all these... interpersonal conflicts."

"Tell me about it."

"So help me understand." Peridot inched closer to Ronaldo on the couch. "By human standards, how are you defective?"

Ronaldo groaned. "Because I know the truth, okay? Because I know the truth and no one else does and so they all think I'm – I'm – confused, or worse."

He still wasn't looking at her. Peridot was considering moving around to the other side of him when he started talking again.

"Humans aren't like – like what you think they're like. We're all different, sure, but you can only be different in _some_ ways before other people start thinking you're _weird_ or something. Or that something's _wrong_ with you."

"I don't understand."

"Please, Peridot, can we stop talking about this?"

She relented. "Yes."

"Okay."

They sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a long time before they heard voices coming down the beach. Peridot stood up. "That must be Steven and the others," she said.

"Are you really going to tell them what I did?" Ronaldo said.

Peridot thought about it for a few moments. "No," she finally said. "It's not necessary. I only said I would because I was angry at you."

"Oh."

The voices were clearer now. "...and once a year, there's the Beach-a-palooza, and lots of people do acts and stuff, like, one year I was in a band with Garnet, Amethyst, n' Pearl, and we sang a song about time travel."

"Ha, I remember that!" That was Greg's voice. Peridot made to go to the door, changed her mind, and sat down again. Her hands were shaking. Why was she so nervous?

"Why did you sing about time travel?" Connie's voice said – so she was there too.

"Oh, a bunch of time travel clones of myself appeared in an underwater temple and started fighting each other and then they all died."

Peridot heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and her whole body tensed. Steven opened the door and his whole face lit up. "Peridot! You're here! And... Ronaldo?"

"Hey, Steven," Ronaldo said.

Connie and Greg stepped through the door after Steven, Lapis trailing behind. She was holding what Peridot recognized as a donut, with one bite taken out of it. Her face was expressionless, and she stared at Peridot with blank eyes.

"You came back," she said.

"Yes," said Peridot, suddenly very uncomfortable. "Lapis, I've decided to stay."

Steven broke out into a wide grin. "Really? That's great! Now we can rescue Garnet n' Amethyst! Right, Lapis?"

Peridot didn't know what she expected from Lapis – anger, maybe, but not this emotionless display. Lapis barely glanced at Steven, keeping Peridot in her field of view.

"Okay," she said. "You can stay here on Earth. I'll take Steven and leave."

Steven's grin vanished as quickly as it appeared. "Lapis, you – you still want to take me away? Why?"

Lapis shook her head. "Earth is a dead planet, Steven," she said. "Even if we keep these gems from reporting back to Homeworld, they'll just send more. Eventually, we won't be able to fight them anymore. I don't want to go back. I don't want to see Jasper again. I just want to find a place that won't be taken away from me."

She smiled, sadly. "I don't want to lose you. I don't care about this planet. I care about you, Steven."

"No you don't!" Connie blurted out.

A flicker of emotion passed over Lapis' face – Anger? Pain? – and she turned to Connie. Connie glared up at her and continued.

"If you really cared about Steven, you would want to protect Earth, too! This is his home! This is _our_ home! All his friends are here! We spent so long trying to show that to you – do you really think he'd be happy if you take him away from everything he's ever known?"

"I'm not letting him die," Lapis said quietly.

"Don't you understand –" Connie's voice took on a pleading tone. "– that the way you feel about Steven is how he feels about Earth?"

Silence descended on them all. Ronaldo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Greg coughed into his fist. Connie and Lapis stared at each other until finally, Lapis said, "Fine."

Steven spoke up hesitantly. "You – you mean –"

"But I won't let Steven fight," Lapis said. "We'll wait outside the ship. If something goes wrong, I'm going to take Steven and leave."

"But you'll help us?"

Slowly, Lapis nodded. "Yes."

Steven ran forward and hugged her. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Lapis' face remained blank. Peridot felt uneasy.

"So what are you going to do now?" Greg asked. "I mean – I know I can't help much, but if there's anything I can do..."

"You can pack snacks for us!" Steven said, letting go of Lapis and running to the refrigerator. "It was a really long way to the ship last time, so I think we should pack a lot of snacks this time!"

Greg followed him, and after a moment of hesitation, so did Connie. Lapis looked at Peridot.

"Why did you decide to stay?" she asked.

Peridot hesitated, and glanced towards Ronaldo. "Humans aren't replaceable," she said. "Each one is different. There are so many possibilities on Earth, I... I want to protect that."

She barely understood the words that came out of her mouth, but Lapis seemed to understand. Wordlessly, she nodded, turned around, and stepped outside. Steven looked up when he heard the door open, but Lapis just sat down on the stairs, looking towards the ocean. Peridot couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, but what could she do? Lapis had no reason to like her, after being held prisoner by her and Jasper the entire journey to Earth. It was no wonder Malachite held her on the bottom of the ocean for so long.

Still, she thought, maybe things would be okay. Maybe they would save Earth. Maybe they could really win against Homeworld.

Despite trying to reassure herself, Peridot couldn't help but feel as if she was forgetting something. 


	20. Peridot Hates Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lord above ok there's no way I'm finishing this in time for the winter holidays bc there's at Least 3 more chapters left and I'm guessing I'm gonna go over that amount and hit 24 or 25 chapters bc I am always overestimating how much I can fit in one chapter.
> 
> anyway! here's a cool thing! [I made a public trello board with all my fanfic plans!](https://trello.com/b/v0vkRE6I/carterwriting) you can see my progress on the stuff I'm writing and see my future ideas and other stuff? you might learn some slightly embarrassing stuff about me & my fandoms (I'm still thinking about writing a dangan ronpa fanfic even though I've been out of the fandom for like, over a year?? why do I do this????) but otherwise it's all good.
> 
> here's chapter

Peridot was unceremoniously dropped onto a soft, gritty surface, gasping and choking and expelling the water that had inundated her body. She was alive. She was alive. She was –

She remembered everything that had happened to her in perfect clarity.

She had been trapped underwater, invisible chains wrapped around her so tightly that she couldn't even struggle. Peridot detached herself, kept her distance from the memories before they could overwhelm her. She had to be functional, had to pretend her memory blocks were still intact. If her superiors discovered that they had been _removed_ –

Someone was talking. Peridot looked up and squinted in the sun to see Lapis Lazuli looking down at her.

"I hate the other you, you know," she said.

The _other_ – Peridot felt a burning rage deep within her. The one who had failed her mission so spectacularly she had defected rather than gone back to Homeworld and accept her punishment, the one not fit to be called Peridot, the _traitor._ Peridot dug her fingers into the sand. She had hated her from the moment they first met.

"I hate her," Lapis continued. "She tried to kill Steven. She kept me prisoner. It's her fault more gems came to Earth. But Steven cares about her, and she cares about Steven now, too.."

"I hate her, too," said Peridot. "But what do you want? Do you want my help? I can take you back to Homeworld, I can –"

"You don't understand," said Lapis. "Steven won't let me do anything to her. I can do whatever I want with you."

Peridot was frozen in fear, but she realized it was more than fear that was keeping her immobile – the rivulets of water that ran down her body were pressing into her, preventing her from moving. It's just water, she told herself, it's just _water_. Her whole body trembled. She couldn't move.

But she could still talk. "This isn't necessary!" she cried. "I can help you!"

"No," said Lapis. "I know what Homeworld wants. They're not going to leave Earth alone."

"I could get you off-planet!" Peridot said. "I could find you somewhere safe!"

Still, Lapis shook her head. "Steven doesn't want to leave."

"Just let me go!"

"You're one of two gems who can pilot the ship," Lapis said, "and the only one who isn't on our side. If we let you go, you'll just report back to Homeworld, and more gems will come to Earth."

"You think more gems won't come looking for us?!"

"Of course they will. But this way, we'll have more time."

"Why are you telling me all this?!"

Lapis shrugged. "I thought it would be polite."

She was going to die, Peridot realized. She was going to die on some gem-forsaken planet that she was never supposed to be on in the first place.

She should give up. Just accept her fate. But her _programming_ – her accursed programming that no Peridot could hope to overcome – couldn't accept that. Her mind kept struggling for a way out, for some way she could survive.

"Are you done?" Lapis said.

Peridot examined her surroundings, her eyes darting back and forth. The beach they were on was next to a steep hill covered in green organic matter, growing out of the ground. She couldn't see much more than that. Was there anyone else around?

"Okay," said Lapis, and she bent down and picked up a rock.

Peridot screamed.

Almost instantly, a watery hand clamped over her mouth. But she had succeeded, Peridot realized, because in the distance, she heard a voice: "Lapis? Lapis, Where are you?"

Lapis brought down the rock hard and pain overwhelmed all conscious thought.

* * *

The beach house was quiet. Ronaldo, Steven, and Peridot were sitting on the couch while Greg and Connie stuffed Steven's food-shaped backpack full of snacks when the scream rang out.

Steven jumped up from where he had been sitting on the couch and ran to the door. "Lapis?" he called out. "Lapis, where are you?"

Connie quickly followed him. "Where is she? Does she need help?"

"I don't know! Lapis!"

"Hey, kids!" Greg said. "Don't go getting yourselves into trouble!"

Too late; Steven and Connie were already running down the stairs and onto the beach. After sending a worried look at Peridot, Greg followed them.

Ronaldo hesitated. "Okay," he said. "There's no way this isn't gonna sound awkward, but like... that kind of sounded like you?"

Peridot could only respond with a nod. Wordlessly, she stood up and walked to the door, not bothering to see if Ronaldo was following her.

There was a commotion around the side of the temple, at the edge of the grassy hill it was carved out of. Steven had encased Connie and himself in a pink bubble, standing with his arms thrown out to the sides in front of Lapis. Steven was shouting, his voice muffled by the bubble, Greg was raising his voice, and the waves were rough against the beach, but all Peridot could focus on was the figure huddled on the bottom of Steven's bubble, her form warping and glitching.

Ronaldo caught up to her. "What happened?"

Peridot opened her mouth to answer him, but no words came out. She couldn't bring herself to step any closer.

"Drop the bubble, Steven," Lapis said.

Steven shook his head. "No!"

"Everyone calm down," Greg said. trying to squeeze in between Lapis and Steven's bubble. Lapis held out a hand in front of him, stopping him. "We just need to talk about this," he tried, but Lapis glared at him.

"There isn't anything to talk about," she said. "That Peridot is a liability. We can't keep her around!"

"Yes we can!" Steven shouted, his voice muffled by the bubble. "We don't have to – to –"

"Are they talking about you?" Ronaldo said in alarm.

Peridot shook her head, still unable to speak.

Realization dawned over Ronaldo's face. "So this is –"

"Why not bubble her?" Greg said. "I mean, I don't know much about what the Crystal Gems do, but if you do that, she won't, uh, regenerate, right?"

"Fine," Lapis said. "If Steven can bubble her, I'll accept that."

"We have to take her to the fountain, first!" Steven said. "Her gem is cracked!"

Peridot instinctively covered her own gem.

"Steven?" Connie looked up from where she bent over the other Peridot. "I think she's getting worse!"

"We don't need to take her anywhere," Lapis said. "You have healing powers, Steven. You can repair the damage I've done."

"But what if it doesn't work?" Steven cried. "What if I can't do anything?"

"It's going to be okay, Steven," Greg said, his voice shaking. "Don't worry, if it doesn't work, I can carry her to the warp pad."

Steven swallowed hard and nodded. Kneeling down next to the other Peridot, he gently moved her fingers away from her forehead, licked his hand, and pressed his palm to her gem.

For a moment, nothing happened.

The next moment, a soft glow emanated from the other Peridot's gem, and Peridot saw her form stabilize. Steven's eyes lit up. "It worked! It really worked! My healing powers are back!"

Then he yelped, because the other Peridot had sat up and, in one quick motion, wrapped her arms around him.

"Steven!" Lapis, Connie, and Greg shouted at once, but the other Peridot wasn't attacking him – Steven put his arms around her as she sobbed, pressing her face into his shirt.

"It's okay," he said. "It's okay. We're not going to hurt you."

* * *

That was one of the first things Steven had said to Peridot after he and the Crystal Gems had healed her in the fountain. It's okay. We're not going to hurt you. It hadn't been reassuring at the time. Peridot didn't know what to think about it now.

Lapis and Steven were debating on whether to bubble the other one. Peridot – was she even still Peridot, now that there were two of them? – had decided to go back to the beach house.

Ronaldo followed. Peridot wondered why he still followed her everywhere. "You didn't tell me there was another Peridot," he said as they walked up the stairs.

"I would have preferred to forget. It would have been better if we had left her at – at the –"

Peridot hit her foot on the next step and lurched forward. Ronaldo tried to grab her, but her weight only brought the both of them down on top of the stairs. Peridot banged her chin hard on the wood. She barely felt it.

"Whoa!" Ronaldo quickly got back up to his feet. "Peridot, are you...?"

He trailed off, looking down at her. Peridot curled up in a ball and sobbed.

"Should have left her at the bottom of the ocean! Like me!" The stairs pressed into her body uncomfortably, but she didn't care. The mere sound of the waves was triggering memories of her time underneath them, and now there was the new memory of being trapped in an escape pod slowly cracking under the ocean's pressure. She half expected a wave to rise up and crash down on her, dragging her back down.

"I'm not going back there," she choked out. "I'm not going back there I'm not going back there I'm _not going back_ –"

Ronaldo patted her back and she flinched. "Sorry," he said, and he took his hand away.

With every breath she took, she imagined herself choking on seawater. Peridot's usual methods of coping when her memories overwhelmed her were _not working._ She tried to focus on her breathing and each breath came out in an irregular gasp. She tried to focus on the sounds around her but they seemed to be coming from far away. The only thing that felt real was the pain of the stairs as she lay on them – she clung to that.

"What are you doing?"

That was Lapis' voice. Peridot managed to compose herself enough to stop sobbing.

"I don't know what's wrong!" Ronaldo said, his voice pitched with worry. "I think she's having a panic attack or something, but –"

It was like a switch had been flipped – Peridot detached herself from her body, looked through her eyes like she was watching a movie. "I'm fine," she said, and she commanded her body to stand up. When she turned to look down the stairs, Lapis, Greg, Connie, and Steven were all staring at her. The other Peridot was nowhere to be seen. Judging by the downcast expression on Steven's face, she had been bubbled and sent to the temple. Really, that had been the only option.

"We need to go," Lapis said. Peridot nodded.

Steven looked up at her. "Lapis, can we talk, first?"

"No. We've wasted enough time already."

"But –" Steven looked down and up again. "You've been... different. I want to know why. I want to help you, Lapis."

Lapis turned away.

"It is because of Malachite?"

"Steven," said Lapis. "You won't understand. Jasper was going to take over the fusion. So I let our minds fuse, too. I thought that way, I could keep her down there. I thought I could change Jasper, make her so she wouldn't want to hurt you anymore.

"I didn't realize she would change me, too."

Lapis sighed. "Now I'm more... more violent. More angry. It's been taking so much self control not to lash out. I'm still me, I know that, but there's a part of Malachite in me that's not going away."

An uncomfortable silence followed her words. Greg cleared his throat. "Lapis, is Steven... safe, with you?"

"Of course," Lapis said. "I won't let anyone hurt him."

"Lapis," Steven said, speaking slowly. "When we rescue Garnet n' Amethyst, you should talk to Garnet. Maybe she can help you."

She didn't answer for a moment. Finally, she said, "We have to rescue them first. Let's go."

* * *

It was when Peridot, Steven and Lapis were boarding the Gem Sloop that Connie said, "I'm coming with you."

"Whoa, no," Greg said immediately. "Connie, your parents will never let me hear the end of it if I let you go into danger like this!"

"But I want to!" she protested. "I've been taking swordfighting lessons with Pearl, I know how to defend myself! I can help protect Steven, too!"

"I'll allow it," said Lapis.

"Well I won't! I don't want Steven going either, but he's not going to be fighting, and he's got his gem powers to protect him in case something goes wrong – but Connie, you're a human! And a kid, for that matter!"

"It's okay, Connie," Steven said. "We'll be okay."

Connie glared at Greg for a moment, her body tense, and then she relaxed.

"Try and stop me," she said.

"What –"

Connie turned and ran, taking a running leap into the boat. She missed and hit the water, but Steven quickly leaned over and helped her in.

"Hey, wait!" Greg ran to the boat, but Lapis was already pushing it away from the beach. "Don't do this, Lapis, come back!"

Steven looked at Connie nervously. "Are you sure you're –"

She nodded and grasped his hand. "I want to help you," she said. "The Earth is my home, too."

Peridot looked back towards the beach. Ronaldo was waving at them. She didn't wave back.


	21. Peridot Hates Coming Up with Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im running out of chapter titles
> 
> anyway, An Important Announcement: Yes, I Am Going To Finish This Fic
> 
> so! a lot has happened since I started this fic! we hit the one-year anniversary of me posting it back on march 14th, or maybe it was the 15th idk. lots of stuff has happened in the show, pushing my peridot redemption fic deeper and deeper into Hella Noncanon territory. I've listed all the ways that it breaks canon off the top of my head in the note at the end of the chapter.
> 
> so as you probably know, and spoilers if you haven't seen stevenbomb four (though idk why you're reading steven universe fanfiction if you're not caught up on the show), peridot got redeemed in canon, making peridot redemption fics kind of unnecessary! it would be totally reasonable for me to just discontinue this fic! however, I don't want to discontinue it, so I'm not going to.
> 
> (also, last time I checked this fic has 500 subscribers, and that's just a ridiculous amount of people who care enough about my fic to want to be notified when it updates. like, man, gosh, dang, do y'all really like my writing that much? dang. I've been trying not to be self-deprecating in these comments but guess what I hate my writing and also myself. depression funtimes!)
> 
> anyway: it's been difficult mustering up the motivation to work on this, since my peridot is hilariously OOC and the fic is hilariously noncanon, but I managed to write 1000 words & finish this chapter today alone, so let's try something: an update every weekend. every saturday or sunday (but not both days), I will post one chapter, until the fic is completed (I estimate 3-4 chapters left btw)
> 
> wow this authors note is long. hope u enjoy

Peridot tried not to feel any emotion while Lapis drove the boat closer and closer to the Homeworld ship. Before, it had been easy – before her crash and capture on Earth, she just did her job, focusing only on her mission. She tried to think of this as just another mission – except this time she was a _traitor_ – the word still stung in her mind – and was probably going to be killed.

Peridot shook her head. Steven and Connie looked over at the sudden movement. "Peridot," Steven said, "is everything okay?"

"I don't know," said Peridot. "Is it?"

Steven looked down sadly. "I guess not. But it's gonna be, right? We're gonna save Garnet n' Amethyst and then we'll go back to the temple and Pearl will come back and then we'll –"

"Steven," Connie interrupted. "Are you okay?"

"Not really?" Steven wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "I'm really scared, and I don't know if everyone's gonna be okay. But – but –"

Connie leaned over and hugged him. "It'll be okay," she said. "I promise."

"What is that?"

Peridot whipped her head around at Lapis' words, seeing her staring fixedly behind them, back towards Beach City. Off in the distance, there was a strange, pink shape, running across the water towards them.

"I'll take care of it," Lapis said, without waiting for anyone to answer her question.

"No no no!" Steven cried, jumping up and making the boat rock. "That's Lion! He's my friend! Or, um, a pet? I don't really know, but – he's here to help! Stop the boat!"

Lapis nodded, and the boat began to slow. The shape was coming closer now, identifiable as some sort of pink, Earth lifeform. Did they usually come in pink? Peridot wondered.

Lion took a running leap into the boat and nearly capsized them. Peridot clung to the seat as the boat lurched, and Steven and Connie found themselves squished against the side as Lion tried to find his footing in the small space.

Finally, Lion lay down, facing Steven and Connie, and putting his backside in Peridot's face. Steven grinned and threw his arms around the animal. "Lion! I'm so glad you're here! It feels like I haven't seen you in ages!"

Lion grunted and gently headbutted Steven in response.

"This boat's not big enough for all of us," Lapis said. "We'll have to throw Peridot overboard."

Peridot squeaked in fear. "Was that a _threat?_ "

"No, that was a joke."

"That's, uh, not funny, Lapis," Connie said.

Lapis shrugged, and the boat began to move again.

It was awkward, sharing the small space with Lion and three other people. It would only be for a few more minutes, Peridot told herself. They were almost at the Homeworld ship. The thought was not nearly as reassuring as she wanted it to be.

"Is that it?" Connie said.

Peridot was struck with a bolt of fear, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Yeah," said Steven, his voice shaking.

Lion growled, and Peridot felt the vibrations through the boat. Behind her, she heard Lapis step down off the back of the boat and into the boat proper.

"We need a plan if this is going to work," Lapis said. "Peridot, what are you doing?"

Peridot opened her eyes, staring down at her knees so she didn't have to look up and see the Homeworld ship. "Nothing."

Lapis sighed. "Steven and I are staying on the boat," she said. "That leaves you and Connie to rescue the others. Connie, did you say you took swordfighting lessons?"

Connie nodded. "Yes, from Pearl. I, uh, don't have my sword with me though. We keep it at the temple, and there was no time to go get it."

Steven's eyes lit up. "I know! Lion, can you..."

Lion grunted before he could finish his sentence. Steven reached his hands and pressed them against Lion's mane, where they slipped inside of it with a white glow. Carefully, he pulled out a long, pink sword in its scabbard, with an insignia that Peridot had never seen before but knew instantly who it belonged to.

"Here, Connie," he said. "You can use my mom's sword."

"Really?" Connie said in surprise. "I mean, I guess we don't really have any other options, but..."

She took it from him and moved to unsheathe it before pausing and looking at the crowded space of the boat. "I'll wait until we're inside," she said. "Thank you, Steven."

Steven smiled at her briefly, then looked up at Lapis with a nervous expression. "Lapis?" he said. "Um, I know you want to protect me, but –"

"Steven, you are not going inside that ship," Lapis said.

"But they need me!" Steven pleaded. "I have Mom's shield, I can protect them! And – and I don't want Connie going in there without me!"

"It's okay –" Connie began, but Steven cut her off.

"It's not okay! Dad was right, you're just a kid! We're both just kids! But if we're together, then we can protect each other!"

"You can't go, Steven!" Lapis said forcefully. "That was the condition! What happens if you get hurt?"

"What happens if Connie or Peridot gets hurt?" Steven shouted back. "They need me!"

" _I_ need you!"

Silence followed her words, Steven and Connie stared at Lapis with wide eyes. Peridot looked away quickly and finally allowed herself to look at the Homeworld ship.

The ship was motionless, looking the same as it had when they left it. Its engines must have been still running, keeping it up in the air, but other than that, there was no sign of life. It was eerily quiet, and she could hear Steven and Connie's breathing.

The Homeworld gems must have seen them coming, but without a Peridot or other technician gem to pilot the ship, it would be impossible to activate the weaponry. That didn't mean they wouldn't be ready for them, Peridot thought, and the thought sent a shiver through her body.

On top of the ship, there was movement.

Peridot gasped. Steven tore his gaze away from Lapis and to Peridot. "What's wrong?"

"There's someone on the ship!" she cried. "I mean, _obviously_ there's someone on the ship, but –"

They were too far away for her to make out the gem's movements, but all of them saw the blue flash of light that shot out of the ship and splashed next to them, sending a spray of water over them. Lion stood up and snarled.

"I thought you said there was no one to pilot the ship, Peridot!" Lapis shouted. "How are they shooting at us?!"

"I don't think they're using the ship!" Peridot started breathing hard. "I think it's – _Steven! Shield!_ "

Steven didn't react quickly enough; the next beam hit the sail and sliced through it. As it passed over their heads, Peridot was able to discern the shape of a lance inside the beam.

"It's the Turquoise!" she shouted.

"Turquoises don't have that much power!" Another beam nearly hit them and Lapis jerked their boat to the side. "They can't do _this_ by themselves!"

"She might have an amplifier or – or something! I don't _know!_ "

Lion roared and crouched down in the boat, looking at Steven. Steven's eyes widened. "Everyone! Get on Lion!"

"What?!" Peridot shouted, but Steven and Connie were already clambering on the pink creature's back. There was no time to argue; Peridot climbed on behind them, clutching Lion's short fur.

"Lapis, you too!" Steven cried.

Lapis hesitated.

"Lapis! Hurry!"

"I can take care of myself, Steven," Lapis said, and she crouched down and dove off the side of the boat, disappearing into the water.

" _Lapis!_ "

Lion snarled and did an enormous leap off the boat, hitting the surface of the water and bounding forward. Peridot yelped and clamped her legs tight around the animal's body. Lion opened his mouth and roared a portal into existence in front of them, diving through it into a shining pink void.

"Lion!" Steven shouted. "Where are we going?! We have to rescue Garnet and Amethyst!"

He barely got to finish his sentence before they reappeared on top of the hand ship, Lion smashing into the Turquoise that had been firing at them and slamming his paws down on her cyan body. The gem shrieked – but before she could retaliate, Lion dug his teeth into her throat and her physical form released into smoke.

It all happened too fast for Peridot to do anything but scream.

She managed to get herself under control by the time Steven climbed down from Lion's back and picked up the Turquoise's gem, bubbling it with trembling hands. Connie jumped off and helped Peridot down, holding Rose's sword in one hand.

They stood on the top of the ship in silence, all three of them, along with Lion, breathing hard.

"We go inside the ship now, right?" Connie said. She was gripping the sword so hard her knuckles were white.

"Yeah," said Steven. "We went in the back of it last time. Where the wrist is supposed to be."

"There's an entrance there," Peridot said. "We could use it again."

Her eyes fell on a device that had been knocked over when Lion had landed on the ship, a spindly thing with a long cannon. She had been right – it was an amplifier, a type of device that took a gem's weapon and fed more power into it to accomplish things that would not be normally possibly with the natural power of a gem. Each one was different, built to the specifications of the gem it was made for, so this one would be useless to anyone other than a gem with a weapon similar to a lance.

She picked it up – they were built very light – wondered what to do with it, then threw it off the side of the ship. It clattered loudly down the curve of the side, the noise making Steven and Connie jump, before falling off the edge and into the water.

"It's okay," she said. "The only gems left are Obsidian and Jasper, and – and there's only two of them, and three of us! We'll be fine!"

"You're hyperventilating," Connie said.

Peridot hunched over and tried to get her breathing under control. Once she felt like she would be able to talk without letting her fear get away with her, she straightened up and said, "It's not going to be as simple as going in and fighting them," she said.

"I know they're tough," Steven said.

"It's not just that," Peridot said. "If there's only one entrance, they're going to be waiting for us. They're going to have a plan. We need to do something they won't expect."

"Is there another way in?" Connie asked.

Peridot looked at Steven and Connie, standing side by side with hard, determined expressions, and realized two things:

One, Steven was not going to let Peridot keep him outside the ship, not that he would be much safer on top of it. He was going to come in and fight with them.

Two, if Steven got hurt, Lapis was going to find what was left of Peridot's gem shards, and grind them into dust.

"There might be," Peridot said. "But it's going to be difficult. Follow me."

* * *

They all walked cautiously to the tip of the pointer finger, Peridot constantly looking back over her shoulder to make sure Steven and Connie hadn't slipped down the edge and fallen into the water. Rationally, they would be fine if they did – Lapis wouldn't let them drown – but knowing that didn't help any.

It was a long shot, Peridot had to warn them, but if they were able to open up the tunnel the escape pods were fired out from, it would lead them inside the ship and put them out in the control room.

Now, lying down on the slope at the tip of the finger, Peridot felt at the surface with her own fingers. She sent them out as far from her hands as she could manage, feeling for the edges of the hatch that she _knew_ was there –

She found it, a hard edge in the smooth surface of the ship. Feeling around, she could feel six triangles, that she knew spiraled out to open up when an escape pod was coming through. She pried at them, but her fingers were too weak.

"I need to get closer," she said.

"Why?" Steven asked.

"The farther away I am from my touch stumps, the weaker my control over them becomes. I have to get closer if I want to have a chance of opening this hatch."

"Your _whats?_ " Connie said in confusion.

"Touch stumps."

"You mean... your fingers?"

"That's – is my vocabulary really important right now?"

Connie shook her head. "No, I guess not. Um, Steven could grab one leg and I could grab the other and we could hold you so you could get closer without falling down?"

"I'm too heavy for that. My physical form is... dense. It's why I sink in water."

"Could you shapeshift and stretch your hands closer?" Steven suggested.

Oh, right. Shapeshifting was a possibility. "Yes, thank you for reminding me."

Peridot focused on her physical form and made her arms longer and thinner, bringing her hands closer to her fingers. With the added proximity, she was able to open the hatch just a crack, enough to cram her fingers into the hole and push on it from the outside. Her arms quickly started to ache, but it was fine, she was fine, she could do this, she could –

Against her will, her arms shrank back into their normal position, and the hatched slammed shut on her fingers. Peridot bit her tongue to keep from crying out.

"Peridot! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Steven," she said, her voice strained. "I just – I can't hold that form for very long."

From behind her, Lion grunted, and she heard his feet pad towards her. "Whoa," Steven said. "Lion, what are you doing?"

" _Lion, no!_ " Connie shrieked.

Lion headbutted Peridot hard, knocking over the side of the ship. Before she had time to think of anything but death, she felt teeth clamp around her foot, jerking her to a stop.

"Don't do that, Lion!" Steven cried. "What if you hadn't caught her?"

Lion grunted in response.

"It's – it's fine!" Peridot said. "I'm fine! I'm – I'm close enough now!"

Again, she started prying at the hatch, desperately this time, and again, the triangles spiraled out, opening up a hole large enough for Peridot to fit through. She could feel her foot start to slip out of Lion's mouth, and before she could think twice about what she was doing, she yanked her foot out and swung herself in through the hole.

She landed on the curved floor hard, and the hatch closed behind her.

" _Peridot!_ " Steven and Connie shouted in unison.

Peridot took a moment to catch her breath before answering. "I'm okay!" she called back, still lying on the floor. "I'll open the hatch in – in a moment!"

"But how are we going to get in?" Connie said. "Just fall in like you did?"

"I'll catch you!"

"How are you going to catch us if you're holding the hatch open?"

"I'll – I don't know!" Panic was starting to creep up on her, and she closed her eyes and took deep breaths. It didn't help much, but it allowed her to think more clearly.

"Okay," she said. "I'm going to go inside."

"Alone?!" She could hear the fear in Steven's voice. "But what will you do?"

"I'll just – find something to hold open the hatch." Not that she had any idea what she would use to do that. "It'll work," she told herself. "It has to work."

"Peridot, wait!"

She didn't. Peridot stood up and started walking down the passageway, her feet pounding on the ground. She could hear Steven and Connie calling for her, but she ignored them until their voices faded away.

* * *

The walk took longer than she thought it would. When she finally reached the abrupt end of the passage, she looked up at the ceiling, and realized that she wouldn't be able to get through. The panel didn't open; it simply allowed the escape pod to pass through it, and it was one way. Peridot would have to walk all the way back and tell Steven and Connie that they would have to go in through the wrist, where Obsidian would no doubt be waiting for them.

She was about to turn back when the panel shattered on top of her. Peridot yelped and covered her gem, debris crashing down on her.

"Well," said Obsidian's voice. "Looks like the Sapphire was right! Jasper, get her out of there. I'll deal with her myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I started this fic literally one day after jailbreak aired, so it's pretty hilariously noncanon by now! let us count the ways!
> 
> Headcanon 1: peridot limb enhancers were part of her body/physical projection. DISPROVED
> 
> Headcanon 2: peridot can control technology. YEAH THIS WAS KIND OF OUT THERE. DISPROVED.
> 
> Headcanon 3: anyone can control rose's room. DISPROVED AND IT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS THIS WASN'T THE CASE SO YEAH.
> 
> Headcanon 4: pearls were soldiers until they all rebelled and homeworld stopped producing them. HA HA HA HA HA DISPROVED
> 
> Headcanon 5: peridot rarely says "clod" and certainly doesn't say it as every third word. DISPROVED AS HELL.
> 
> Headcanon 6: my interpretation of peridot's entire personality. WRONG. WRONG. I WAS SO WRONG. CANON PERIDOT IS NOTHING LIKE MY INTERPRETATION. THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
> 
> Headcanon 7: literally everything about malachite. I MEAN, I GUESS IT COULD BE AN OK INTERPRETATION, BUT LIKE. LET'S BE REAL HERE IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN THAT WAY IN CANON.
> 
> honestly there's probably more but that's all I can think of right now
> 
> [me flipping the canon on and off] WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL


	22. Peridot Hates Obsidian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 chapters left and one of them's an epilogue so I guess, only two chapters really? but three updates? I might just bundle up the epilogue in with the last chapter so there's maybe only two updates left
> 
> anyway this chapter was painful to write for some reason like, I tried my best to get it done last week like I said I would but, I couldn't... it just wouldn't get written... and it's only 1900 words too like wtf that's barely anything
> 
> anyway! there's like no way the next chapter isn't going to take at least two weeks bc it's a hard chapter to write but I will try to update within a month. and if i don't you can spam relatablepicturesofamethyst@tumblr with asks yelling at me to update it's cool.

Jasper jumped down into the tunnel and grabbed Peridot before she had the chance to run. She was thrown roughly up and out onto the control room floor, only for Obsidian to yank her up by her arm.

"Be careful, Jasper," Obsidian snapped. "She could activate the escape pods."

"I thought we disabled those," Jasper snapped back, climbing out of the hole.

"Watch it. You are on very thin ice. Another mishap could have you harvested."

Jasper grimaced, but said nothing.

"Good," Obsidian said, and then she turned her attention to Peridot.

"You," she said.

Obsidian grabbed Peridot's chin, forcing her to look her in the eye. Peridot closed her eyes and tried to pretend she was somewhere else.

She was rewarded with a hard slap across the face. "Look at me," Obsidian snarled. "How many are with you?"

Peridot thought of Steven and Connie, looked away, and kept her mouth shut.

Obsidian slapped her again. "I said _look at me._ We know you didn't come here alone. Is the Lazuli with you?"

Peridot glanced out of the control room's window. The ocean was rough, the waves tipped with white foam. Surely, Lapis would act if she knew Steven was in danger, right?

" _Answer me!_ "

She had no way of knowing how to answer. They must have seen them coming; did Obsidian know who came with her already, and was just testing to see if Peridot would lie?

Peridot said nothing.

Obsidian slammed her against the wall, and it took all of Peridot's strength not to cry out. "Jasper," Obsidian said, "get the Amethyst."

"What?" Peridot said without thinking.

Obsidian kneed her in the stomach while Jasper left the room. "Now you talk. Good. Maybe we _won't_ have to break all your fellow traitors.

Horror gripped her, and Peridot found it hard to breath. "You – you wouldn't –"

"Of course we would," Obsidian said. "Do you really think the life of a traitor is worth anything? Do you really think the Diamonds will care if a few of you end up broken? Do as I say, and maybe you'll all live long enough to see a trial."

On Homeworld, a trial for a traitor only ever ended with one sentence: death.

They were all going to die.

Peridot thought fast. Steven and Connie could still get out safely, but she had to warn them before it was too late. How? Obsidian would notice if she tried to contact Steven's phone, and they had no signal or code for communication. What could she do?

She heard a voice in the hall outside, muffled by the closed door. "Oh, so I'm defective – hey, why didn't we see you when we were fighting those other gems? Don't tell me you'd still be in prison if we hadn't – ow!"

"I got another chance," Jasper said. "Can't say the same for your friend here!"

The door to the control room slid open, and Amethyst's defiant expression fell from her face when she saw Peridot held against the wall.

"Oh _no,_ " she said.

Jasper laughed and slapped her hard on the back, causing her to stumble forward a few steps. "Surprise!"

"Jasper, restrain her," Obsidian said. Jasper grumbled something under her breath and grabbed Amethyst's hands, yanking them behind her back. Amethyst shook her head and glared up at her.

"Just so you know," she said, her voice without the edge she had before, "I could totally shapeshift my way out of this."

"I'd like to see you try, runt," said Jasper.

"Enough," Obsidian said. "Listen, traitor. If you don't tell us the truth, Jasper will _break_ the Amethyst. Do you understand?"

Amethyst winced, but didn't say anything. Peridot didn't know what to do.

"I – I –" She kept looking at Amethyst, who was looking down at the ground. "I – understand. I understand."

"Good. Now how many are with you?"

Peridot took a deep breath. It didn't help.

"F – four."

"Who?"

"Lapis L – Lazuli. Two humans. A – an Earth animal."

"Where is the Lazuli?"

"I don't know."

Wrong answer; Obsidian turned to Jasper and Peridot panicked.

"I don't! I really don't! She – she didn't get on the ship with the rest of us, she just went into the water! I don't know, _please_ –"

"So the others are on the ship."

Peridot inhaled sharply. She hadn't wanted to tell her that.

"Hey," said Amethyst, and Jasper twisted her arms behind her back. Amethyst bit her lip and continued, her voice strained. "You said there were two humans? Please tell me you didn't bring Ronaldo or someone into this –"

"Jasper, make her shut up," Obsidian said.

"You mean, like, force her into her gem, or –"

"No," Obsidian said sharply. "I shouldn't have to explain this to you. You're a _soldier_ , you should know what to do."

"Okay," said Jasper, and she punched Amethyst in the shoulder. "Shut up."

"You shut up," said Amethyst, in obvious pain. "C'mon, Peridot, I know there's no way Steven would stay home, but who else – _aaow!_ "

Jasper had punched her again, this time in the gut. Amethyst gritted her teeth and glared at Peridot, who realized she should be answering.

"Connie," she said, her voice shaking. "Connie came with us."

"Okay," said Amethyst. "I mean, that's still terrible, but okay."

"I didn't ask for the names of the humans," said Obsidian, "I asked if they were on the ship. Where are they?"

Peridot had to force herself to answer. "On the outside," she said. "On top of it."

"What happened to the Turquoise I stationed there?"

"She – she was – defeated." Obsidian's expression hardened at Peridot's choice of words, and Peridot rushed to correct herself. "I mean – we destroyed her physical form, and –" That was the wrong phrasing, too! "I mean – she – she –"

"So you're down to two now?" Amethyst said. "No wonder you had to pull Jasper outta prison! I bet –"

With a hum of energy, Jasper summoned her helmet, her face twisted with rage. "I said _shut up!_ "

Amethyst only had time to say, "Oh –" before Jasper's helmet smashed her head and her physical form poofed into smoke. Jasper caught her gem before it hit the ground and clenched it in her fist.

"Jasper!" Obsidian dropped Peridot and smoothly stepped out of the way as she crashed to the floor, turning to Jasper. "What did I _tell you!_ "

"She was asking for it!" Jasper shouted. "Didn't you hear her?!"

Peridot found the cold surface of the floor comforting, and she focused on that instead of what was going on around her.

Even so, she heard Obsidian step closer to Jasper and speak, her voice low and dangerous.

"Listen to me," she said. "You lost the war for Earth. You failed in what was supposed to be a routine escort mission. You _fused_ with the Lazuli. And now you are disobeying your superior, White Diamond's Obsidian, who has _successfully_ overseen the development of dozens of colonies. I will not tolerate any more insubordination from you."

Jasper said nothing, just dispelled her weapon with a flash of light.

Peridot heard Obsidian's footsteps come towards her, and before she could process that, she was yanked up by the back of her collar and dragged towards the controls. Obsidian pulled her up onto the pilot's chair and sat her down, digging her fingers into Peridot's shoulders.

"You will pilot the ship back to Homeworld," she said. "This is your final chance at redemption. Do this, and you may live."

Peridot stared at the controls with her mouth open.

"I – I – I can't –"

"I am not asking what you can do," Obsidian said. "I am telling you to do it."

Steven and Connie were still on top of the ship. If she flew it into space –

"But –"

Obsidian dug her fingers in harder, and needles of pain shot down Peridot's arms. "Do as I say."

– but if she didn't, they would kill Amethyst. Would Amethyst be willing to die for Steven? Peridot thought that the answer was yes, but she couldn't make that kind of decision for someone else –

"I – I –"

"Wait," Jasper said. "We need to bring the humans inside first."

"No, we don't," Obsidian said. "They're just humans. They'll die with the rest of the planet, soon enough."

"One of them has the gem of Rose Quartz," Jasper said. "The – the _Steven._ " Jasper spat out the name as if it had physically hurt her to say it.

"I don't care." Obsidian shifted her grip on Peridot slightly. "Pilot the ship, or you will die."

Peridot finally found words. "If it's me or the humans, then – then –"

Her breathing was rapid and out of control. She didn't want to die. It felt as if every bit of her programming was screaming at her to do as Obsidian said, to keep clinging to the false hope that she could live.

But this planet was unique, and so was everyone on it. There would never be another Steven. There would never be another Connie. And there would never be another _Earth_.

She couldn't let that be destroyed.

"– then let me die."

Silence greeted her words, a silence broken by Jasper's laugh. "Stars," she said, "you really are interesting! Too bad you're a traitor."

Obsidian let go of Peridot's shoulders and turned away, crossing the room with a few long strides. Peridot closed her eyes and rubbed her shoulders, trying not to pay attention as she heard a hard _slap_ and Jasper shout.

"Put the Amethyst back in her cell," Obsidian said. "Then bring the humans inside. Once you have confirmed with me that they are contained in their own cells, I want you to go to the main deck and stay there. I do not want to deal with you any longer. I will take care of this situation myself."

"Fine," Jasper snarled. Peridot felt the vibrations of her footsteps as she stomped out of the control room.

The door slid closed, and Peridot was alone with Obsidian.

* * *

It felt like they had been waiting for hours, even though the clock on Steven's phone told them it had been less than thirty minutes. Peridot still hadn't come back. Steven was sitting cross-legged on the tip of the finger, wondering what they should do, when Connie said, "Someone's over there!"

Steven looked up at where Connie pointed, down at the other end of the ship. "Is it –" he started, but stopped when Lion snarled and he saw the orange figure climbing out of the wrist.

That wasn't Peridot.

There was nowhere to hide. Steven and Connie were frozen in fear as Jasper stood up and cupped her hands around her mouth.

"Hey! Brats!" she shouted. "Get over here before I have to come over _there!_ "

"What do we do?" Steven cried.

"We've –" Connie unsheathed Rose's sword and clutched with both hands. "We've got to fight. That's what I've been training for, remember?"

Steven hesitated, then shakily got to his feet. "Okay. But we do it together!"

"Right," Connie said.

"Did you hear me, brats?!" Jasper took a step forward.

Steven looked over at Lion. "Lion? Do you have any plans?"

Lion roared and leaped forward, running at Jasper. Jasper yelled something unintelligible and threw a punch at him. Lion dodged and backed away, growling.

"C'mon!" Connie shouted. "We've got to back him up!"

Steven nodded. "Let's go! Earth forever!"

"Earth forever!" Connie shouted, and the two of them charged towards Jasper.


	23. Peridot Hates Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [walks into ao3 six months late with a big donut] WHAT'S UP i managed to get it together to update this fic today, 11/04/16, SU's three year anniversary! I was gonna update all three of my SU fics today, but, eh, let's not push myself.
> 
> anyway. what's going on with this fic?
> 
> -I'm still gonna finish it, despite how hilariously noncanon it is  
> -there's probably like three chapters left? just an estimate. I'm so bad at figuring out lengths of my fics like this one should've been over ages ago.  
> -im aiming to finish it by it's two year anniversary, which is in… march! five months to write three chapters! I'm probably gonna need that time, given how Super Depressed I am
> 
> uhh I think that's it! enjoy!
> 
> (almost named this one "Peridot Hates Chapter Titles" but no… I'll save that for when I Really need it)

Amethyst reformed back in her cell. She shook her head to try and reorient herself to her surroundings, and checked her physical form for any mistakes – her tunic was a little more ripped up at the bottom, but everything else was okay. No feet where hands should be. She guessed she should be glad about that.

"Amethyst! What happened?"

She looked up to see Ruby in the cell across from her, standing as close to the yellow forcefield as she dared. Her eyes were wide with fear and panic, and the news Amethyst had for her wasn't going to make things any better.

"Peridot's here," she said bluntly. "Steven and Connie came with her. Lapis and Lion, too. Peridot's the only one they've got right now, though."

"No!" Ruby cried. "Garnet didn't want them to come back for us! Why didn't she _listen?!_ "

Amethyst hesitated. "You know there's no way Steven would have left us here," she said.

"Peridot should've stopped him! She should've – she should've –"

Ruby covered her face with her hands and screamed. Amethyst didn't know what to say.

"Got some good news, at least," she said. "Peridot said they poofed Turquoise, so that just leaves Obsidian and Jasper to deal with."

"Some good that does us when we're stuck in here," Ruby mumbled through her hands. "Besides, Garnet lost to Jasper she first time, and we _all_ lost to Obsidian. And now they're forcing Sapphire to tell them the future, and – augh!"

She punched the wall as hard as she could, yet she barely left a mark. "And Peridot's not gonna be any help," she said bitterly. "Not her fault. It's how she was programmed. Garnet knew – she's so scared of dying, even if she knows they're lying to her when they tell her she can live, she'll do what they say anyway."

It was useless to try and be optimistic in this situation. It wasn't going to help anyone. Ruby was right; Amethyst has seen the fear in Peridot's eyes. If anyone was going to save them, it wasn't gonna be her.

"She brought Connie with them, though," Amethyst said. "Which is, y'know, terrible, but at least Connie knows how to fight."

"Stop _talking,_ " Ruby said. "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but –  _stop_."

"Okay," Amethyst said quietly, and she stopped.

The only thing left to do now was wait.

* * *

"That's Rose's sword," Jasper snarled. "Why do you have _Rose's_ sword?"

Connie gritted her teeth and didn't answer. Other than the gem mutants, the only people she had fought before were Pearl and the holo-Pearls. She had never fought someone like Jasper, who fought using brute strength, not blunted training swords. Connie was afraid to even get close to her, so she kept her distance.

"'Cause she knows how to use it," Steven said, his shield out and ready to block. Beside him, Lion growled.

"Who taught her? The _Pearl?_ "

"Yeah!"

"Steven," Connie said, "stop talking to her. It's breaking my concentration"

Steven looked mortified and shut up. Jasper just laughed.

Connie took a deep breath, her heart pounding. They couldn't just stand there and wait for Jasper to make a move. Even if it was terrifying, even if Jasper was trying to kill her – she had to win this, for Steven.

But she couldn't move. Connie stood there, holding the sword in hands that she had to fight to keep steady.

Lion took a step forward. Steven put a hand on his side to stop him and looked at Connie. "Connie," he said. "What do we do?"

"I…" She couldn't move. "We need to…" She couldn't _move._

So Jasper moved first.

She moved _fast,_ rolling into a ball and spinning in place before darting forward, right at Connie. Holding the sword, Connie was barely able to get out of the way in time. Lion roared as Jasper passed him, sending pink waves of energy at her, but Jasper swerved and dodged them easily. She unrolled herself and stood up, not on the other side of the ship, a grin on her face.

Connie turned to face her again, pointing the sword at her.

Jasper laughed again. "What can a human do against a soldier?" she said. "You're better off giving up and coming with us."

"What did you do to Garnet 'n Amethyst?!" Steven shouted.

"The _Ruby_ and the _Sapphire_ have been separated," Jasper said. "The runt stepped out of line and was sent back to her gem. They'll be fine – up until the trial's done with and Homeworld takes care of them, of course."

"You can't go to Homeworld," Steven said. "Only Peridot can fly the ship, and –"

Jasper rolled her eyes. "That's the problem. The traitor won't fly us home until we get you two inside. Made a big fuss about it. She's _interesting,_ you know? Never met a Peridot who could defy her programming like that. Almost a shame she'll be shattered with the rest of you after her trial."

Steven took a step forward, towards Jasper.

Connie didn't _know_ that Steven would try to fight Jasper by himself – but for one instant, that's what she thought he was doing. "Steven!" she shouted, and she ran to him. She couldn't let him fight alone, they had to be _together._

Connie saw a pink glow lighting up Steven's surprised face as she grabbed his arm – and then they were together.

Connie had been scared. Steven had been scared too. But fusions are more than the sum of their parts – and together, Stevonnie's mind was clear enough to see something that their parts had missed:

_Jasper was no longer standing between them and the ship's entrance._

Ignoring Jasper's shout of rage, clutching the sword in their hand, Stevonnie turned and ran away, Lion by their side.

* * *

The minutes ticked by as Obsidian waited for Jasper to return. Jasper hadn't seemed to want to kill Steven, but Peridot didn't know how she would react to Connie – or how Connie would react to Jasper. Peridot squeezed her eyes shut and hoped that Steven and Connie would be unharmed, that they would go quietly with Jasper and try not to fight her.

She could feel Obsidian's eyes boring into the back of her head. A sudden memory of the machine that had attacked her after she crashed on earth rose in her mind – the last thing she remembered of it was it drilling through the back of her head, sending her into her gem and leaving her there for Steven and the Crystal Gems to find. She flinched.

Stay focused. Stay in the moment. She couldn't let the memories overwhelm her again and end up a sobbing mess in front of Obsidian. She tried to remove herself from the memories, until they were only a distant threat.

Her mind drifted to what was going to happen to them; she squashed that down, too. The only thing that awaited her on Homeworld was death. But Peridot was alive now – she would do what she could to ensure that Steven and Connie lived as long as possible.

That was how she spent that stretch of time, waiting for Jasper. Thinking of nothing but the present moment, pushing away all other thoughts.

"Something is wrong."

Peridot had barely registered that Obsidian had spoken before she grabbed Peridot's arm and yanked her out of the chair. Peridot yelped in alarm. "Wh – what –"

"Jasper hasn't returned," Obsidian said. "Two humans should not have taken this long to capture. I am going to see what's going on – and you are coming with me."

Peridot's feet felt unstable on the floor, but Obsidian barely waited for her to find her footing before dragging her out of the room.

* * *

"Amethyst? Gar – Ruby? Sapphire? I have no idea where I'm going!"

Stevonnie ran through the halls of the ship, acutely aware of Jasper chasing them. Lion's paws pounded the floor next to them, and they turned almost in unison, as if Lion could tell what they were thinking. Empty prison cells, more empty prison cells, what kind of ship needed all these prison cells? What had Homeworld been expecting to find here?

"Hey!" Stevonnie shouted. "Amethyst? Ruby? Sapphire? Where are you?"

"Stop _running!_ "

Stevonnie ignored Jasper's shout, only increased their pace. Turn at the corner, around the circular room and exiting at the third door… "Amethyst! Ruby! Sapphire! _Peridot!_ "

" _Stevonnie?_ "

There was the yellow glow of the cell barriers ahead – Stevonnie skidded to a stop between two activated cells, looking back and forth at Amethyst and Ruby. "You're okay!" they said happily. "Where's Sapphire?"

"Watch out!" Amethyst shouted.

Stevonnie turned back around and ducked Jasper's punch just in time. Grasping the sword, they swung and missed, as Jasper let her momentum carry her past them. Jasper's face was bared in a snarl, and she turned and lunged again. Lion roared, sending out more pink energy and knocking Jasper over.

There it was – the perfect moment! Stevonnie ran forward, preparing their sword for the finishing blow –

And then they stopped.

"What are you waiting for?!" Ruby cried. "Just do it!"

Stevonnie lowered their sword and took a step back, letting Jasper get to her feet. "Jasper," they said. "I want to talk."

"I don't!" Jasper snapped. "I don't care what kind of creature you are now, I don't care if you're still  _Rose_  – I will bring you back to Homeworld, and you'll finally get the punishment you deserve!"

"But _Jasper_  –"

"She's not going to listen!" Amethyst shouted. "There's nothing you can do!"

"Some gems can't be _helped!_ " Ruby's hands were clenched into fists and there were tears in her eyes. "Stop trying!"

Stevonnie hesitated. Jasper took it as her chance to summon her helmet and run forward.

Lion got in the way – another roar, and Jasper was knocked on the ground. Before Stevonnie could do anything, Lion was on top of Jasper, and his teeth were at her throat.

A puff of smoke – and Jasper was gone.

Lion bent down, picked up Jasper's gem in his teeth, and turned to Stevonnie. They held out a shaking hand, and Lion dropped the gem into it. Stevonnie took a deep breath.

"Bubble her!" Ruby yelled. "Quartzes reform _fast!_ "

"Okay," said Stevonnie, and a pink bubble encased Jasper's gem. They hesitated again, then pressed their hand on top of it and sent it away.

"Just Obsidian left now, huh?" said Amethyst.

"Yeah," Stevonnie said, "yeah. Let's get you out of there."


End file.
